I know his secret…. Thread 3

[Waffletots]

Starting another thread because the last one is full.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5226374-i-know-his-secret-but-how-do-i-play-this?page=1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5226809-i-know-his-secret-thread-2?page=1

Thank you so much everyone for your messages, I appreciate them so much and you have truly helped me this past crazy few days to know I have so many people supporting me.
I’ve seen a solicitor this afternoon who has given me some good advice regarding finances and the legalities when it comes to our jointly owned home, a lot to get my head around but I feel a lot more informed now!
I’ve missed two calls from my husband since I last updated, I’m worried he’s going to come to the house to try and speak to me but hoping he may think my brother is still here and not bother!

Hi @Katrinawaves We don't "sell threads" to the mainstream media. News outlets may monitor popular threads and write stories based on them, but they are not purchasing the content. When journalists report on Mumsnet discussions, they are doing so under fair use principles or through independent editorial decisions, not because Mumsnet has formally assigned them the content. On previous occasions when an OP has been upset by this, we have contacted the outlet and requested they remove the content and we will usually withdraw a thread that has been picked up if the OP requests.

Sorry for the interruption, OP - we felt it important to clarify this!

@BeckyAMumsnet thanks for clarifying - I would have been very suprised indeed if this was the case-

Reminds me of this classic exchange from The West Wing:

Sam Seaborn : About a week ago I accidentally slept with a prostitute.
Toby Ziegler : [pause] Really?
Sam Seaborn : Yes.
Toby Ziegler : You accidentally slept with a prostitute?
Sam Seaborn : A call girl.
Toby Ziegler : Accidentally?
Sam Seaborn : Yes.
Toby Ziegler : I don't understand. Did you trip over something?

Thinking of you OP. You’re handling this with such dignity. What an excellent role model you are for you little ones. Hope all is ok with the imminent arrival of baby x

Coming to this thread very late but have read all your updates OP and just want to say well done for handling this shitty situation with such grace and dignity! I 100% know i wouldn't have and you have my full admiration and support.

Good luck with the birth and beyond xx

Hope it all works out for you. Have faith in yourself!

This is going to hit you very hard at some point op. This is not a show or a movie but your own life. Which must feel changed beyond all recognition. You are getting things done and making amazing progress. I am glad your parents are there.

I came on to say watch out for the shock as it starts to wear off, take all the support available to you. You have been through so much. Take really good care of yourself at this time 💐

Just another message of support, I have read your threads from the beginning and you've handled this amazingly. Agree with another poster that this will hit you hard at some point so be prepared for that and maybe line up counselling.

How are you getting on OP? I've been thinking about you today! Hugs 💐

I mean I work in recruitment for a supermarket, so unlikely 🙄

And if I ever did want a complete career change into journalism, it certainly wouldn’t be for the likes of the DM.

@Waffletots You’re doing exceptionally well with everything you’re dealing with. Keep utilising the fantastic support network you have and rest as much as you can 💐

When and if you do speak to the dickhead, keep it short and to the point, as others have suggested. Direct him to deal with your DB where possible so that you don’t have to deal with the twat.

It’s not always the case but many men who have affairs have a background of anxious/avoidant styles of parenting from their own parents although this certainly doesn’t excuse @Waffletots OH. A good predictor of the future is also what’s happened in the past. As I said in a previous comment it’s likely this isn’t the first time and it will probably happen again. This man is clearly a master at compartmentalising different aspects of his life and his narcissistic behaviour after being found out speaks volumes.

You're handling this admirably OP. I don't have anything to add that's not been said, but I've been where you are. And all I can say is I promise, with everything I have, it will only get better if you leave.

Best of luck and a safe delivery.

Unfortunately, sooner or later, you will have to accept either that:

1. He will be allowed to move back in until any divorce is finalised; and
2. If you cannot be under the same roof, you will have to move out.

Regrettable though this may sound, you cannot legally exclude him from his home. Also, on a practical level, his moving out will incur more expense that will diminish the joint pot of finances to be shared.

Hope you’re going okay @Waffletots if Kate Middleton was ever cheated on (let’s say if she’d married someone entirely different) this is probably how her and the Middletons would handle it. You’ve done remarkably well and you deserve to be protected at this time. I hope someone lovely sweeps you off your feet when the time is right xoxo

OP you're a Queen for handling this in such a dignified way. I truly wish you all the best and have been thinking about you.

A rogue suggestion, but imagining myself in your scenario as I'm also heavily pregnant, is there a baby name you love that STBEH vetoed?
I'd be registering the baby under that name.

A small and legal "fuck you".

He's lost everything has he. I wonder if he dumped OW as baby was due and then in a fit of pique contacted OP.

OP I wish you a labour like my second, quick and painless.

What a totally inappropriate thing to say. I thought it was only the Mail who continued to call her that (Middleton) instead of Princess Catherine of Wales. She lost the 'Middleton' 12 years ago.

I think it more likely he spent a year spinning the OW a whole story "we are getting a divorce but we're forced to live in the same house while everything is sorted out. But we no longer sleep together - we're just temporary roommates". Then the OW discovered that OP is pregnant with a baby that could only have been conceived AFTER he started spinning the story.

OP wishing you the best of luck with labour and delivery - glad your family is offering support

How has today been ? I’m thinking you may be in labour as you have usually posted by now .

So much wrong with this you have to be having a laugh 😂

let’s say if she’d married someone entirely different
Not heard the rumours then?

Good luck op with welcoming your new baby soon!

Wishing you a very fast and easy labour - those kids are very lucky to have you and your family - stay strong, you’ve been amazing through all this.

Or OW realised she has been spun a line and dumped him! I can't imagine he would want to hang out with her after she has blown up his cosy and convenient (for him!) set up of family on one side and the excitement of a affair on the other! I think this man is incredibly entitled and has treated both women abominably, he hasn't even apologised to his wife or asked after his children! In other words, I hope both women have sent him packing and won't entertain another moment of this self-centred, lying, spineless, entitled man's crap!

She isn't Princess Catherine of Wales either. She's just Catherine, Princess of Wales or The Princess of Wales. Never Princess Catherine.

Catherine, Princess of Wales would mean she was divorced.
She's HRH The Princess of Wales.