I know his secret…. Thread 3

[Waffletots]

Starting another thread because the last one is full.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5226374-i-know-his-secret-but-how-do-i-play-this?page=1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5226809-i-know-his-secret-thread-2?page=1

Thank you so much everyone for your messages, I appreciate them so much and you have truly helped me this past crazy few days to know I have so many people supporting me.
I’ve seen a solicitor this afternoon who has given me some good advice regarding finances and the legalities when it comes to our jointly owned home, a lot to get my head around but I feel a lot more informed now!
I’ve missed two calls from my husband since I last updated, I’m worried he’s going to come to the house to try and speak to me but hoping he may think my brother is still here and not bother!

Yes, cheap hackjob, though, as all they’ve done is précis the threads. No attempt to research the incidence of men being unfaithful when wives are pregnant, or the rights under a legal separation of women such as the OP, or an exploration of why men who appear to have it all sabotage themselves the way OP’s DH has… you know, proper investigative journalism.

(If you are reading this Daily Mail journo, perhaps you could remind yourself why you studied journalism at uni - if you did - and what the basic tenets of the profession are?)

Millions of people read it online.

Just to let you know I think the Daily Mail has picked up your post and published it today.

Fuckers

DM couldn't scrape the story without MN permission.

@quantumbutterfly really? Couldn't a DM journo simply create a MN account and just copy paste?

It's hardly like DM hacks are law abiding 'journalists'. They work for a barrel scraping infotainment rag.

I don’t think that’s true.

"I will never trust him again so for me, the relationship is over for good."
Exactly OP. When there is no trust in a relationship it's done. When he should have been coming home from work to be with you and your first child, he was lying and spending time with the OW - it's just the ultimate betrayal. He's a fool - a lying, cheating fool - who doesn't deserve you. You can - and will - do better.
Stay strong OP. Your response to what he's done has been exemplary - keep doing more of the same. Wishing you all the luck and love in the world and sending big hugs! ❤️

Of course they can, it's a public site so anyone can share the content online. I don't know why you think they'd need permission at all?

People think of MN as a safe space but it's a huge site that journalists trawl for stories.

A site like the Mail Online is visited by tens of millions of readers every month, so when stories from MN are linked to it drives huge traffic to the site.

At the end of the day, MN is a business and huge traffic driving is to their benefit.

Sorry OP, if I was you i would ask for this to be deleted but they might not agree to that.

This being featured by a massive news site is a reminder to everyone that MN is not a private site and there is no restriction on people reporting on the site's threads

It won't have been done by a journalist. At best, an unpaid intern whose job is to copy-paste from forums like this. At worst, a scrapping AI algorithm.

Rubbish anyway.
OP, I continue to wish you well. Even if you don't feel able to update the thread anymore, we're all still supporting you!

OP knew this was a possibility - it was raised on the first thread - and said she'd rather take the support she was being offered.

Also, in the event that others did read the story and recognise themselves, the shame associated with this story did not belong to her but rests squarely with them.

@SerafinasGoose

Ah I didn't know she said that on a previous thread. And yes of course there's no shame for her, I hope nothing I said implied otherwise at all! She's had an awful time and doesn't need any added trauma at all.

@waffletots

Article written by, just in case you need to contact DM.

They wouldn't need an account on here, to copy and paste. It happens all the time. Anything they think might garner some online clicks is stolen from here. Jeremy Vine's TV show and Loose Women also steal threads from Mumsnet to discuss. That's why it's important to anonymise yourself, although in this case, @Waffletots has every right to publicise what an utter shit her husband is.

It didn't at all. That was just the substance of the prior conversation.

It would hardly be possible to make things worse than they already are. In comparison with his actions, the act of posting online for a bit of support is so minor as to pale into insignificance.

You probably did at the time you just didn’t realise as you were in survival mode.
Hope you are all good 30 years later and that you had a happy ending. 💐

The reporter is on linkedin. She's like the mistress, no regard for fellow women, why expose OP
at a time like this.
Disgusted but typical
of DM. Their reporters are underachievers, hence why they work
for DM. Most can't spell nor properly research.

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/terms-of-use

Why on earth not? It's in the public domain. MN can't control who sees it or what eg lazy journalists do with the info they find

I could be wrong so apologies in advance but I thought the T&Cs show that MN own all copyright to the site (intellectual property) and can control what's done with it - an agreement with any other publication who uses the content? Otherwise anyone who uses content is in breach of copyright.

@NeedToChangeName Read the T&Cs linked to.
No one can use content without permission or an agreement .Posts that end up in other publications either online or in print potentially drive traffic to the site.

Can we please stop giving space in this thread to a rag like the DM? Hardly anyone reads stories like this to warrant the amount of posts on this thread.

Let's keep this thread clean, sharing good advice for the OP's sake.

@Waffletots I have read through your threads and am in awe of how you have handled this. It should be the blueprint for how to deal with cheating scumbags. What a shocker of a few days you've had - and at a time when you are most vulnerable. Warrior Woman.

I hope you are able to rest and prepare as much as possible for your new arrival. It sounds like you have a wonderful family around you who are providing much needed support right now.

I think your husband's lack of grovelling and messaging may be partly because he knows you and suspects it won't actually get him anywhere. You are strong, have morals and won't be walked over. This is something he must know about you. I think you do need to address him though, to inform him (and confirm what he probably suspects) of where you stand and how this is going to go. If you don't, he may use it as an excuse to try and worm his way back in, acting clueless and saying he didn't know where he stood.

I wish you all the luck and strength. You have an army of us behind you.

Now the media have found this please don’t share any of your plans with us @Waffletots. (obvs) Maybe just check in and let us know when the baby is born and that you’re okay perhaps?

Hmm that's interesting

Possible that DM have a licence

Or, possible DM share without permission but MN choose not to enforce?