Mounjaro offending close "friends"

[Hope78]

I have bitten the bullet and started using Mounjaro. I pay for it privately through a reputable private clinic , and in a nutshell its been incredible.

Long story as short as poss.... I'm a well built 5ft7 woman who has been anything from 10st to 13.7st over years , ideal weight 11st happy and feel good, have gone into perimenopause , started HRT and basically CANNOT shift stubborn 2st. I told my GP my plans and he agreed as BMI verging on obese (13st4) .....decision was 6 months in making with a LOT of research before starting it ....anyway ....

I have lost my first half stone ( in 10 days ) and with close friends at the weekend told them i was on the injection and how great i feel ( not just food noise but ADHD symptoms better too ) my friends were so happy for me bar one who could not hide her disgust. This person has a stunning figure, always been a petite size 8, always attracted a lot of male attention, and has been known to be quite fattest over the years to anyone chubby. She basically said it was cheating, said i would be fatter long term and i know that behind my back is slagging me off ..
I've always been confident despite my different weights but i did get a lot of compliments especially from other husbands of how well i looked , and it seemed to REALLY annoy her she has stopped messaging me as much and has declined Xmas invites for drinks at mine.
Its got me thinking that this injection is a real shift long term for men and women , but psychologically its maybe pissing off people that don't struggle????
Another friend was shocked i even told people but im not that sort of person , I'm an open book and chatty and don't see the point ? maybe i should have just kept my mouth shut ? AIBU to feel shocked and disappointed by this ?

A poster mentioned Lighter Life - not familiar with that but I had the misfortune to do the Cambridge 1:1 diet and I’m still haunted by those strange tasting shakes and the weird packet food.

I think I stuck to it for 2 weeks and lost half a stone and a few inches off my waist, it all came back within a matter of months. Then I tried again a few months later for a few more weeks and again it just didn’t work well for me or agree with my stomach.

I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I was doing it. I remember watching aunties buy slim fast etc and even as a kid rolling my eyes thinking this isn’t going to work lol I was now that Aunty 😭😆

And some of the comments on here are why very very few people in my life know. They can guess, but I don't care. I have found a medication that helps massively with multiple aspects of my life. People wouldn't judge me the same for anti-depressants, so they have no right to judge for mounjaro. People's bodies, like their brains, work differently.

Long answer (sorry!).

So, once you’ve reached target you start to titrate back down the doses and work with a nutritionist/counsellor (depends on which service you are using) to monitor calorie intake - you gradually increase calories in conjunction with the decreased dose of medication until you find the sweet spot at which you maintain. For most services, the object is to get you off the meds for good so they monitor weight and eating habits to make sure that as the dose decreases and, for some, when appetite begins to return that you have strategies for this.

Appetite may not necessarily return for all people as dieters will have spent 18m retraining their palates by avoiding UPFs/sugars/high carb foods, learned what sensible portion sizes actually are (and learned that it’s okay to leave food, even if you’ve paid for it), found that their stomach that has shrunk over the period etc - but for some there may be residual psychological issues with managing the feeling of hunger. I am now fine with being a bit hungry sometimes - I know I will not die in the next hour or so until my planned meal, or can fill up with an apple and a big glass of water to take the edge off. My kids struggle with this - if they are hungry they expect to eat immediately. Food is so readily available this is what we’ve taught them. I’ve had to unlearn it.

In my case, I have PCOS, thyroid issues, insulin resistance/pre diabetes and a few underlying genetic issues that mean that as I titrate down I may find it harder to maintain my weight without keeping my calorie intake down, or experience increased hunger that I could find more difficult to manage. I am really hoping this is NOT the case, but my endocrinologist has indicated that I may need to remain on a maintenance dose of around 5mg to support this.

For transparency: I am not doing this through an online/diet service like many because of the underlying health issues, but am seeing a consultant and paying for my prescription privately, nonetheless, as I don’t qualify under any of the current NHS guidelines.

It’s not just thin friends though. It’s a variety of all body types/sizes. I lost 4st on reducing calories and no alcohol and have maintained for a couple of years.
But it’s a constant battle with people observing what I’m eating/drinking, questioning why I’ve ordered the lower calories option etc Having to explain why I don’t want an alcoholic drink (I’d rather use the calories on food)
Eating out is no longer fun because of the scrutiny.
Comments always start with ‘as a friend who cares for you…’ Funny how they weren’t so concerned when I was obese and never said a word.
As a person who has yo yo dieted for most of my adult life, I wish everyone the best of luck with their weight loss journey because whichever route you take, including injections, there is no easy option. All requires willpower, you just have to find your own best solution.

@Lotusberry I agree but I do think the jabs make it much easier for most to finally ‘get there’. Possibly the total denial of this is causing the backlash as disingenuous.

Omg my mate did Lighter Life in 2006 - it’s not cheap !!!

@Lotusberry Comments always start with ‘as a friend who cares for you…’ Funny how they weren’t so concerned when I was obese and never said a word.

oh that would so stick in my craw! you are so right. i'd have to say something eventually.

Good for you @GnomeDePlume ! i wish you every success. The carbs thing for me got out of control with menopause, the cravings were INSANE. I am so pleased that you are 3wks into MJ, it will really help. It is so easy though to get impatient with yourself, but - and maybe you know this already - focus on the long term trend. we don't lose weight every day, some days it jumps up a bit, but it will drop eventually as long as you keep doing what you are doing.

Trust the process, go up through the doses if you can and you will get to a happy place eventually, side effects for me were at the start, now I have nothing at all pretty much - AS LONG AS I DRINK ENOUGH WATER... which i find hard if I am freezing cold.

Are you on any FB groups? I can recommend one if you would like? it spun out of the Juniper FB community and they are a wonderful bunch of people. DM me if you think you would like that :)

I suspect one of my circle would be like this which is the reason I haven’t told a soul I’m taking it.

Same here except me and my sister decided together to do this and haven't told anyone. I know for a fact I'd get snotty comments. I do think my husband may have twigged or suspects but he's not the type to push.

Went out with family last week and they noticed I'd lost weight (just over 2.5 stone) and another sister made a face and just walked off when I was asked. And yes she's always been the slim one!

Yeah but you're ignoring how that person got to be obese in the first place. You cannot deny that not every person is fat just because of a medical condition/how their body processes food etc. Some people are fat because they consistently overindulge, eating foods they know are going to make them fat or bigger portions that they need, and not exercising enough. It's that which rankles for those people who have worked hard at not doing that.

Some people are fat because they consistently overindulge, eating foods they know are going to make them fat or bigger portions that they need, and not exercising enough. It's that which rankles for those people who have worked hard at not doing that.

OK so that person is now spending their money on correcting those habits and improving their health. They've decided to change and are paying for an option which helps them to succeed. Why does that rankle? Would you prefer to have eaten more food and spent the past few years gaining weight? Would you choose that option now that the injections exist? To get fat and then lose it without a struggle? Or would you prefer to struggle but never get fat at all? Or is it somehow important to you that this hypothetical person must be made to find the process more miserable and more difficult so that for some reason you feel better?

@Nosyguest isn't ignoring that at all @Probablyfinebutworried. They're saying anyone could now 'consistently overindulge, eating foods they know are going to make them fat or bigger portions that they need' until their BMI is over 30 and then hook up with the jabs.
You could, all the 'just eat less and move more, it's easy' lot could. If you want 'the easy option' then do it. You could enjoy being judged as a lazy fatty, finding it hard to find decent clothes, reducing your lifespan. And then you could pay £150/ month to inject yourself to get back to the weight you were in the first place, possibly throwing up, shitting yourself or for the really lucky few getting pancreatitis in the process.
If that's such an appealing option it is literally there for the taking now. Crack on, enjoy.

Some people are fat because they consistently overindulge, eating foods they know are going to make them fat or bigger portions that they need, and not exercising enough. It's that which rankles for those people who have worked hard at not doing that.

OK, personally I wouldn’t and don’t take Mounjaro but I don’t understand this kind of take. If someone wants to take MJ they can go get it from a private clinic. And if they don’t want to take MJ - why are they jealous of someone who has taken it ?

It’s a bit like me being jealous my neighbour doesn’t have to stand and wash dishes for x minutes, because she chose to buy a dishwasher which reduces the time spent on manual washing.

My weight loss (no meds) through calories counting, walking and self-therapy,
has been slow going and a lot of trial and error. But I chose the way I did it and it was right for me and I have no regrets.

Perhaps partly because I’ve did it in a sustainable way which has still included cakes, sweets, bread etc rather than through excessive restriction and haven’t been miserable and hungry the whole time 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also. I know people who haven’t used weight loss meds but have lost weight way quicker than me due to their height/body type/genetics etc, should I be jealous of them too?

The more incoherent resentment is usually about the way weight loss drugs are eroding thin privilege and status.

The people who used to benefit from its rarity value are going to see that change. Lots of them don't give a shit, and good for them. Some do, but they aren't always willing and able to spell out why.

Should they just stay fat and unhealthy then?
Risk diabetes and high blood pressure, stroke, heart disease, poor mental and physical health.

cause it ‘rankles you’?

Some people are fat because healthy eating practices were not modelled in their family of origin. Some didn't have the knowledge or guidance in their early years.

Fat blaming, isn't helpful. Taking corrective action is a good thing and should be applauded.

This is the bit that I really don't get about these threads. The people who don't like the availability of WLIs - what would they prefer us to do? There seem to be only two options:

1. Give up and accept your lot in life. You're fat, you behaved in a way that means you deserve to be fat, you should carry on wearing your shame on the outside.
2. Keep trying to do it the traditional way, even if that means (as per the definition of madness) repeating the same behaviour over and over again expecting a different outcome.

Why is there so much contempt for a) being fat and b) using a different approach to resolve it? Why we have to stay on the hamster wheel of traditional methods when it's not getting us anywhere? Is it really that hard for people to understand that we're all different, and some may need a different approach to others?

A similar argument would be to sneer at those who’ve quit smoking using nicotine replacements.

They should have done it cold Turkey the hard way. They’ve just cheated and taken the easy way out.

its just madness.

@Probablyfinebutworried

Yeah but you're ignoring how that person got to be obese in the first place. You cannot deny that not every person is fat just because of a medical condition/how their body processes food etc. Some people are fat because they consistently overindulge, eating foods they know are going to make them fat or bigger portions that they need, and not exercising enough. It's that which rankles for those people who have worked hard at not doing that.

Why does it 'rankle'?

I'm interested to know why it bothered anyone.

I'm fat because I overindulged, ate foods I knew would make me fat / massive portions AND did no exercise.

I'm autistic have ADHD and complex PTSD - these along with with the upbringing I had and relationships with food that were shown to me have contributed to an eating disorder - I'm not lazy, I'm not stupid, I have massive issues around food and most of my adult life has been hell because of that.

I can't imagine being bothered by someone who has found a possible solution to a problem they have had most of their life.

What kind of person gets 'rankled' by someone finding good in their life at last

Yes, my family - including my 16 DS who is now on WLI - are ND. This manifests both in food/sensory issues but also in the inability to recognise certain bodily functions, like satiety, we easily as NT people. My son’s weight issues may in part be explained by ‘he eats too much’, but the narratives of PPs on these thread refuse to acknowledge that there are underlying biological, neurological and hormonal dysfunctions that lead to the ‘eats too much’. He also had covid 4x badly and glandular fever (seems to be a correlation between susceptibility based on our ND that I’ve not bothered to research, but we get called for vaxes every year on this basis alone) and was unable to exercise for long periods, also contributing to his weight gain. But again, that must be his/my fault too?

The medication has been excellent for him as he is not hungry and is reeducating himself on what healthy portion sizes are, on healthy eating, has completely eliminated sugar/processed carbs (and wow, the impact that has on his ND symptoms and migraines is miraculous), and as he’s lost weight and gained confidence he has started exercising with the help of a brilliant personal trainer.

But I’d hate anyone to feel ‘rankled’ by his weight issues to the extent that he should not be on these medications!!!

Fairly sure that falls under 'medical condition', as i said in my post. Anyway, if you scroll back i was replying to a conversation about why somebody may be irked by it, whilst still recognising it's a good thing and being happy for that person, feeling both emotions. I don't think that poster was saying that obese people shouldn't be on these medications - and i personally don't give a single shiny shit who takes what medications or has gastric band surgery or whatever, all power to them. But I can see why it would push the buttons of somebody who feels they have deprived themselves in an effort to stay slim.

Of course not. It's great for those people. But I can understand how somebody may simultaneously feel its great for that person but also feel irked by it. To clarify I personally am not irked by it, I really don't care either way, I was responding to another poster.

But I can see why it would push the buttons of somebody who feels they have deprived themselves in an effort to stay slim.

I really genuinely don't. I can't see why it would push anyone's buttons. I can't follow it at all because the second you think about it, it falls apart. I know that not all emotional responses are logical but this one just seems so bizarre to me and I can't put myself in the shoes of anyone who would find it galling to see someone losing weight on injections.

I get that people work hard to stay slim, but they do that because they think it would be worse to be fat. So when they look at someone fat, surely they think that person is in a worse position? So why begrudge someone in a worse position than you being able to improve their situation? It doesn't take anything from you. Them staying fat - or losing weight via other means you consider more gruelling and painful - wouldn't benefit you in any way so why would you want it? I don't understand that mindset!

And when I said 'you' in my post @Probablyfinebutworried I didn't mean you personally! I meant the hypothetical person who begrudges the injections or is 'irked' by them.