Mounjaro offending close "friends"

[Hope78]

I have bitten the bullet and started using Mounjaro. I pay for it privately through a reputable private clinic , and in a nutshell its been incredible.

Long story as short as poss.... I'm a well built 5ft7 woman who has been anything from 10st to 13.7st over years , ideal weight 11st happy and feel good, have gone into perimenopause , started HRT and basically CANNOT shift stubborn 2st. I told my GP my plans and he agreed as BMI verging on obese (13st4) .....decision was 6 months in making with a LOT of research before starting it ....anyway ....

I have lost my first half stone ( in 10 days ) and with close friends at the weekend told them i was on the injection and how great i feel ( not just food noise but ADHD symptoms better too ) my friends were so happy for me bar one who could not hide her disgust. This person has a stunning figure, always been a petite size 8, always attracted a lot of male attention, and has been known to be quite fattest over the years to anyone chubby. She basically said it was cheating, said i would be fatter long term and i know that behind my back is slagging me off ..
I've always been confident despite my different weights but i did get a lot of compliments especially from other husbands of how well i looked , and it seemed to REALLY annoy her she has stopped messaging me as much and has declined Xmas invites for drinks at mine.
Its got me thinking that this injection is a real shift long term for men and women , but psychologically its maybe pissing off people that don't struggle????
Another friend was shocked i even told people but im not that sort of person , I'm an open book and chatty and don't see the point ? maybe i should have just kept my mouth shut ? AIBU to feel shocked and disappointed by this ?

I agree with this in many ways.

By all means, some weight loss methods are absolutely OK and it's anyone's prerogative to use gastric bypass surgery, weight loss pills/injections etc. But I think that perhaps reasonable thought needs to be given when considering whether to use things fairly new like these injections. I'm guessing they are mostly safe for the average person but like all medication, everyone reacts differently depending on genetics etc and adverse effects of the drugs.

I'm sure that they are ok perse, but I personally would be wary of not knowing enough about the long term effects on metabolism etc, or what might happen to weight loss (or gain) if you stop them. Look at Sharon Osborne and some of the apparent problems she has been having.

Having said all this, the so-called thin friend seems envious of your weight loss, and as PPs have said, is probably now annoyed you are no longer on 'fat friends' status or something. Agree with others that she might be one you can distance yourself from. Sad to say, but she sounds shallow and unkind. Well done on the weight loss, you should feel proud 👏 🥲 🥰

Maybe there's a market for t shirts printed with "I gained this beautiful bod through hard work not Mounjaro like those CHEATS!" 😉

She is jealous of you full stop . Be happy and congratulations on being pro active with your weight . I am now hugely overweight and have gained it in the last 8?years partly due to a medical condition I have also just been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes . I am going to ask my gp about the injections . Can any of you ladies tell me what it’s like being on them and any side effects? I’m not sure I b able to take them due to a number of serious health conditions. But getting real info from people who have used them would be a great help . Sorry to hijack the thread !!!

Um what now?

Bar the potential concerns around these jabs, I don't get the negativity around them. It's not cheating and is no different from any other medication that can help for long term health issues.

Your friend sounds a twat to be honest, your decision should have no impact on her at all but definitely sounds like you're stepping out of the pigeon hole she's put you in.

My friend has had a gastric sleeve abroad and I did ask her to really consider it before she did it but only because she was having it done abroad and to consider safer options. She looks bloody amazing and the positive impact its had on her physically and mentally is great to see.

You're an adult and you've made an informed decision. The problem is hers alone, let her stew in ger own bile.

“If she's always been "fat-ist" then this is not really a surprise, as she clearly attaches value to being slim and negative judgement to those who are overweight or obese.*

This

but i did get a lot of compliments especially from other husbands of how well i looked

This is just icky.

No one can get it from an NHS GP at the moment unless for diabetes.. I know this because I am an NHS GP

People can be very strange about weight loss.

There was a huge falling out in my friendship group when I lost a few stone.
One friend, who I hadn’t seen for about 8 months, was very offish with me and said “Are you trying to become the hot one of the group?” ?!?! I asked what she meant by this and she said “well every group has the fat one, the ones in between, and the hot one, so I guess you’re trying to move up the ranks.”
The fall out came after another friend told her that I’d always had more success/attention with/from men than her even when when I was at my biggest.
All sounds very childish, and I don’t agree with 2nd friend’s comment, your “hotness” isn’t defined by how many men are interested in you in my opinion, but it does prove the very odd response some people have about weight loss.

Your friend sounds like a dick, OP. Limit your contact with her if you feel it’s necessary and good luck on your weight loss journey.

People need to get over themselves, this cheating thing is ridiculous. Fine to have concerns about the long term effects of it, not so much the fact it's supposedly the easy option.

I've just finished braces to make myself feel better about my appearance, is that cheating too? What about botox, fillers, expensive facials?

Good for you OP.

Weight is such an emotive thing, especially for women I think. Your friend is annoyed because you aren't struggling enough. She is slim which may be luck or the result of iron self control over many years. If it's the latter she resents the fact that you are loosing weight easily ( it seems easy to her). I sort of understand her feelings. I'm slim but bloody hell since menopause I have really struggled to maintain my weight and also to do something about my wobbly tummy and bottom. It's very dispiriting. If she's like that she's annoyed that you seem to have an easier option.

I'm 21 stone, 5'3, T2 diabetic with some autoimmune conditions as well.

I've been on mounjaro for 3 weeks. No major side effects. Lost about 10lbs so far.

Positives: I'm happy to not finish meals, generally eat a lot less. It's much easier to make the 'better choice'. I am listening to my body more and getting better at recognising hunger rather than habit.

The injections are easy to self administer. The needle is tiny and the volume being injected is small. But my comparison is having to inject myself daily with large volumes of heparin so I am possibly more robust than most on this front.

Talk to your GP. I'm a prime candidate for mounjaro. My diabetes nurse recommended me for it to my GP who just did what he was told.

No, they won’t need those because everyone will see how toned they are and will immediately know they aren’t a mounjaro cheater!

I think what she’s saying (and credit to her because of her honesty) that she hasn’t got the advantage of the drug in that she still has the food noise. So lots of people on the drugs post on here that they just don’t think about food, eat a little bit and are then full. She doesn’t have that she has the food noise, she denies herself etc. that’s her life every single day.

as an aside though we as a race/group don’t like people having it easier than us though do we. People who have pain relief in childbirth when we did it without, old people saying youngsters don’t know they are born, bring back national service etc etc. people who are richer than us who haven’t put any effort into it in our opinion. Thread after thread like that on here.

I’ve been on it since September. I’ve had some side effects, like constipation and sometimes the opposite. I’ve felt nauseous at times, particularly in the hours/days after injecting. But none of the side effects have been debilitating for me. I’ve lost a lot of weight because I’m no longer eating past being full. I’ve never suffered with ‘food noise’ so can’t comment on that, but my sister, who was a ‘snacker’ has noticed the compulsion to snack has disappeared.
It’s certainly been life changing for me. I’ve started looking in the mirror for probably the first time in my adult life and my feelings of self disgust are lessening.

I think people pigeon hole themselves and others in families, work and friendship groups. The fat one, the slim one, the clever one, the rich one, the poor one.

It can upset the group dynamic if someone no longer fits their pigeon hole. People who have always been in a positive pigeon hole may worry that they may be moved to a negative pigeon hole.

My DH has always been 'the fat one' amongst the men in his family. He hasn't been the fat one for decades but I still see his family double take when they see him at family events.

@RabbitsEatPancakes I could definitely have been happily fat for a few years and really enjoyed myself if I knew I could still get slim with no work when I wanted to.

so do it. It wasn’t a time limited option. If your life is so hard, a constant struggle and you are being genuine when you say you could be happily fat for a few years knowing you can get slim again, with no apparent work. Then do it, start now. Get fat. Have the two desserts. Really enjoy it. And in a few years, take the jabs, get slim. You now know you can.

no one is stopping you, but I don’t think you want to do that at all. Do you?

Some people do think that dieting, giving up smoking/drinking etc should be hard. Not for any altruistic reason but as punishment for their self indulgence.

Anything which makes the process easier is met with disapproval. Unfounded negative claims will be made: unspecified negative consequences or terrible side effects.

It is like some people have a puritanical streak. Anything nice, tasty, enjoyable is inherently bad.

This is absolutely not my experience of life in any groups of friends or family AT ALL. So maybe SOME people do this but you absolutely can't expand your experience out to everyone.

I agree with this, some are just negative all round, especially when it comes to other people making changes for the better. Toxic and nasty describe these people well.

A good friend would be supportive, not cunty.

Ultimately other peoples opinions don't matter to me, I'm happy to use the injection which has been approved for weight loss In Scotland (not being prescribed by NHS in my area as yet, but in the pipeline) to help me get to a healthier weight. It's not about being 'thin' it's about my health and several things were staring to affect me as I approach my 50s.

What does make me laugh is when everyone talks about it being untested or we don't know the long term effects as if Mounjaro was just pulled out of a hat one day. Do you people do this for every medication? If you GP prescribed a new tablet for your BP or migraines would you refuse it based on it being new, despite it also being well tested? I suspect it's just another stock phrase to weight the argument against Mounjaro etc that you don't even need to be having.

It can be a little irritating to keep reading, ‘so this is what eating is like for thin people’, when people start the injections. Of course many slim people have to exercise lots of willpower and ignore ‘food noise’ in order to stay at a healthy weight. And I can confirm that it is definitely not easy post menopause!

Having said that, I think the injections are a wonderful new drug. It is incredible how well it seems to be working for so many people. And these drugs have been around a long time and are known to be effective and safe overall . The NHS is going to save so much money by having a slimmer population. It is just a shame that only people with money can afford the injections.

ignore your thin friend OP. This is all about her and not you.

I agree

You're talking absolute nonsense. Cheating? 🤣

How mean-spirited and nasty can you get?

Did I say everyone? You seem to be very cross about my suggestion which makes me wonder if I hit a nerve?

I’ve been thinking for a while now that all the women (always women) who’ve spent a lifetime with disordered eating, obsessively under-eating and looking down on fatties, are really pissed off that there’s an alternative to weight loss that doesn’t involve misery and deprivation.

Wow. And now personal too. I'm going to have to assume you're the one who's had a nerve hit there.
I have honestly never come across a group where people have assigned "positions" and other members of the group want to keep people in their place (except the police or the army I guess). I'd suggest if these are the groups you are in it doesn't sound healthy at all and you'd be better finding new groups of friends. But you do you. Obviously.