Mounjaro offending close "friends"

[Hope78]

I have bitten the bullet and started using Mounjaro. I pay for it privately through a reputable private clinic , and in a nutshell its been incredible.

Long story as short as poss.... I'm a well built 5ft7 woman who has been anything from 10st to 13.7st over years , ideal weight 11st happy and feel good, have gone into perimenopause , started HRT and basically CANNOT shift stubborn 2st. I told my GP my plans and he agreed as BMI verging on obese (13st4) .....decision was 6 months in making with a LOT of research before starting it ....anyway ....

I have lost my first half stone ( in 10 days ) and with close friends at the weekend told them i was on the injection and how great i feel ( not just food noise but ADHD symptoms better too ) my friends were so happy for me bar one who could not hide her disgust. This person has a stunning figure, always been a petite size 8, always attracted a lot of male attention, and has been known to be quite fattest over the years to anyone chubby. She basically said it was cheating, said i would be fatter long term and i know that behind my back is slagging me off ..
I've always been confident despite my different weights but i did get a lot of compliments especially from other husbands of how well i looked , and it seemed to REALLY annoy her she has stopped messaging me as much and has declined Xmas invites for drinks at mine.
Its got me thinking that this injection is a real shift long term for men and women , but psychologically its maybe pissing off people that don't struggle????
Another friend was shocked i even told people but im not that sort of person , I'm an open book and chatty and don't see the point ? maybe i should have just kept my mouth shut ? AIBU to feel shocked and disappointed by this ?

And who compared it to buying a washing machine- you have it completely backwards, you work hard to save up to buy a washing machine. Not walk into a shop and take one.

What does this mean @RabbitsEatPancakes - do you think people are stealing the jabs?

This is an over-simplistic take at best 😵‍💫And this is coming from a 5ft 2 woman who has successfully lost weight.

When I was in my 20s until mid 30s I really fit the description of a glutton more than a lot of fat people. It was a running joke how fast I’d go through cakes and pastries we brought into the office. I had a cake and Starbucks chai latte nearly every morning.

But yet I was still size 6-10 and a healthy BMI with a tiny waist, because of the fact I walked a lot as part of London commute and my job working with kids involved lots of standing.

Many thin people are “gluttonous” but they seldom get called as such because they are slim. It’s so superficial and yet people dress it up as health concern.

sorry, yes, think I read her reply as ‘legal’ means BMI over 30.

It's not as simple as that, and she isn't trying to absolve women, mainly explaining it as a contributor. Some women are as misogynistic as men. That is not to say that they shouldn't take accountability but we are all a product of our envionment and that is one that tells women they should be thin and wear make up and not go grey. It is why a lot of elderly women are so proud of their bird like appetites. It was currency being thin and keeping your house clean when women did not have any way of working or getting a bank account without a man.

I think she means that people work hard to be slim, like she does, so similar to saving for the washing machine, and now we can take jabs, and “steal” the same prize. A variation on cheating.

Accountable as in don't write off everyone else as not struggling because we aren't fat. Thinking its easy for everyone else to not be fat. No maybe some of us work harder and therefore get better results.
The amount of comments I've had a long the lines of "it's okay for you, you can eat whatever you want". Or commenting how I just bounce back into shape post partum. No, I put hard work in. It takes hard work for me. Dismissing everyone else because its so much more difficult for them to stay a healthy size. It's not, you just can't be arsed.

RabbitsEatPancakes must get furious at people getting washing machines on 0% interest finance deals!

And who compared it to buying a washing machine- you have it completely backwards, you work hard to save up to buy a washing machine. Not walk into a shop and take one.

Doesn’t matter how you acquire the washing machine - beg/steal/borrow - you still have to plumb it in, fill it with dirty washing and liquitabs, and switch the thing on.

Ie, everyone has to do the work to lose weight with or without the medication.

Effectively yes.

It's a lot of effort for me to be slim. Now there's a load of people who get it for nothing. No pain, no gain is meaningless now. Continuing pain for me whilst you can all avoid that and have the same outcome. I'd love an injection that means I stop feeling hungry or thinking of food.

My years of self control have left me in a worse place than if I'd just ordered 2 deserts when I wanted to.

@RabbitsEatPancakes who has dismissed slim people as not working hard? I certainly haven't. The fact remains is that your hard work has paid off and you have benefitted by not being obese with all the health risks and social ire that comes with it. Which is a great thing for you. My hard work has had bugger all effect and over my life time I've yo-yo-ed down a bit and then up a lot until my weight got into the morbidly obese category which sucks for me.

@RabbitsEatPancakes what "worse place" are you in, as someone who is a healthy weight, compared to someone who is obese?

Worse place as in I still have to work hard and put a lot of effort in to be slim. Rather than just get a jab.

I could definitely have been happily fat for a few years and really enjoyed myself if I knew I could still get slim with no work when I wanted to.

As in you got to enjoy the food and we're in the same place.

So you didn’t do any of it for yourself? You did it all for the kudos?

Why should it be hard though if there is a crutch to make it less difficult?
It would be a lot of effort for me to get around without my glasses or contacts. I could do it, I'd have to be incredibly careful around traffic etc, but I could do it with effort. No pain, no gain, right. Or I could wear my lenses and move around safely.
Mounjaro and other jabs are just a tool to help make the same weight loss process we all know and hate a bit easier to navigate.
Edited to add. If you feel so hard done by, eat the fucking cake. Binge yourself for the next 6 months so you can then pay £100+ to inject yourself to get back to the weight you were. If that'll make you happy, do it.

@RabbitsEatPancakes why would you want to become obese with all the health risks?

You don't just take the injections and lose weight. I've been taking them for nearly 6 months and I'm still in the obese category. I was at a pretty high starting weight. I'm losing weight at a decent rate but no different really to any other diet or weight loss approach like IF, keto, low carb. I've been increasing my activity and eating less. It's not a magic wand.

As far as I can see, both scenarios - the struggle to stay thin and the struggle to be thin - seem to be equally soul destroying; but in the former case they have the health benefits of not being obese. I’ve been in both situations and, frankly, I’d rather be in the first one again.

And when I come off the Mounjaro in due course, that is precisely where I will be - having to assert self control, ignore the food noise, exercise without fail, focus on the fact that I have finally got back to a healthy weight and now have to focus for the rest of my life on maintaining it. I’ll be in Rabbits club, but I’ll be cheering on all the women on the path from obesity to weight management while I’m there.

@RabbitsEatPancakes please think about therapy. Your sound like you might well have an eating disorder. What you are saying sounds horribly familiar to me

Hardly kudos.

It's not a secret society treats you better the better you look.

Also, @RabbitsEatPancakes I don't think I enjoyed overeating. It was a compulsion and a guilt inducing nightmare. Why would you want that for yourself?

But you seem to think you deserve special cheerleading because you did it the “No pain, no gain” way, while, in your mind, those of us who have used Mounjaro just jabbed ourselves, went at a dessert trolley like a pig at a trough and still came out as a size 8.

No one is going to give you a medal for using weight, however you do it. Do it for yourself and stop being bitter about how other people are doing it.

Another friend was shocked i even told people but im not that sort of person , I'm an open book and chatty and don't see the point ? maybe i should have just kept my mouth shut ? AIBU to feel shocked and disappointed by this ?

Hmm I don't know really.

YANBU to feel disappointed but if you're the sort of person who happily tells everyone your personal business (not saying there's anything wrong with that), then YABU to be 'shocked'.

Are you new to MN? If not, have you really missed all the threads just like this one?

This is how I see it too.

I'm a former size 18 current size 8. It was flipping hard losing 5 stone and it's incredibly hard keeping it off. I have to work hard at it most bloody days.

I can't honestly say hand on heart that I wouldn't feel a little bit disgruntled if one of my friends told me they were achieving similar results, only in a shorter space of time and with less effort......

Yes, there is a misapprehension that you jab and carry on as normal.

No appreciation for the fact that you are still calorie counting and exercising just like traditional dieters are - and people struggling to maintain lower weights. The jab helps because most of us have yoyo dieted/are in peri or post menopause/or have other medical conditions that have all combined to make our bodies insulin resistant or has messed up grelin/related hormone responses to food (I forget the science but someone cleverer than me can explain it).

I haven’t had cake, ice-cream, chocolate, rice, bread, pastry (ie any processed carbs or sugary products) in 18m and I exercise nearly every day now. Sometimes I miss them, when on holiday or the family are visiting. And yes, I wish I could eat all the things my DH has regularly (curry, lasagne, chips!), but am happy with just a taste on a saucer now and filling up with green salad. I know I will have to eat this way forever.

But it’s not a compeition between you and other women, others being slim doesn’t detract from your achievements.

@FrangipaniBlue it's a shame that you wouldn't be able to be pleased for your hypothetical friend. And reassured that the option is now available to you should you find yourself obese again and finding it harder to lose weight the next time.

The injections don't help you lose weight faster, they just help you to lose weight in the same way that everyone loses weight - by eating less calories than you need for an extended period of time. They're there to help people who have not been able, unlike you, to stick to a reduced calorie diet for long enough to reach a healthy weight. You should be thrilled that you didn't need to spend your own money and risk side effects in order to lose the weight. Unlike your hypothetical friend.