Sick of ignorant people re my religion

[Loisep]

I’m married to a Dane. We met in London at university. We have a great relationship but the ignorance from his friends, family and acquaintances is almost too much to handle.

I am half Indian and was loosely raised Sikh. I think the UK does quite well in comparison to other countries re education on religion. Most Brits do not naturally assume I am Muslim.

That is not the case when I am in Denmark. God forbid I have a beer with new people. “Oh is that not halal?” Blah blah. I end up feeling guilty saying no I’m not Muslim all the time. Like I am distancing myself. I knew there would cultural differences but I never expected such ignorance. So many people think brown people = Arab (in Europe).

Dh wants to move back home and I would if it wasn’t for this extreme ignorance. I worry for future kids.

Am I the one with a chip on my shoulder? Should I just accept that people from other countries have been exposed to different cultural groups? Ie not had an Indian diaspora

That weird because nobody ever said their country was a model of perfection.

If you're going to make things up in order to argue against them, why not do it alone in your head? It doesn't require the input if any of us and it's attention seeking

@Knulp I am Sikh and for my sins, the first assumption I would make seeing a white skinned person in India would be that they are Christian!
I think you should be more careful. I am regularly described as "Christian" by Jewish friends and family and I am NOT. When I explain to them that, I might not be Jewish but that doesn't mean I am Christian, they never remember and just say it again. I don't offend easily but I find this infuriating. They ought to know that I was brought up by parents who met in the Communist party, who were committed atheists, ditto one set of grandparents. It's quite an important part of my background and, I think, quite interesting! Yet it just gets said again casually. Grrrrr!

I’m married to an Indian man. We are Hindu. People assume he is Muslim all the time. Some people are just ignorant and some others aren’t curious enough to find out. Some don’t care. ‘All Indians are Muslim’ is a concept I’ve come across a LOT.

Ha right, indeed she is neither Danish nor Muslim so this particular issue probably doesn’t feature highly on her radar.

Denmark had an east india company.

some of you might benefit from listening to the Empire podcast

Nice try. You wrote "When you colonise a country for 800 years, literally everything is your fault*🤷‍♀️ ie. Absolutely nothing carried out in Ireland, such as treatment of unmarried mothers and their babies was the fault of Irish people. Deluded and I won't engage further with your xenophobia

I completely agree with this. And as a non British person I often got similar questions not only from friends but from any parents on DD’s school gate, elderly people on the bus stop, shop assistants, delivery drivers, taxi drivers, by passers asking for directions, waiters, estate agents, traders coming to the house.
And when they ask me: Are you from X? They actually wrong as I’m from Y. But I don’t throw a tantrum as statistically X is much more probable.
Tbh if I got a pound every time I asked I would pay off my mortgage in full by now.

What an odd thing to get annoyed about...

Yeah, racism, what a really odd thing to get annoyed about....

🤔

I’m glad it’s a non issue to you

I’m hardly expecting people to conform. I am very happy to integrate into a new culture. Just like my Indian grandparents did in the UK. I’m asking for very basic politeness in 2024.

Would you also be offended if they assumed you were Christian?

They saw a darker skinned person and assumed they must be muslim... because they assume all brown skin people are muslim.

So yes they did assume all are one thing, and clearly not a one off incident.

Am I really asking for people to bow at my feet? Have I suggested that Dane’s should have more RE education?

If they assumed all white people are Christian, that would also be offensive.

You are expecting people to conform to what your view of politeness is which is not their or my view. How do you not understand that? My view of politeness is not dictating that countries with a more open form of communication change it because I feel offended that they don't know my religion. I have actually had to integrated into a different culture and the way it's done is for the person who has moved to integrate, not for that person to decide the whole culture needs to change to fit what they desire. In 2024 cultural differences should be respected. As I said before, the world does not revolve around you!

Haha I am asking for Danes to research and understand Sikhism? People are REACHING on this thread

Ive already on this thread I don’t expect Danes to know a single thing about Sikhism. Just it would be nice for a very basic idea - not all brown/ tan people are Muslim - to be understood. No more, no less.

Ask me what religion I am. I will happily answer. Don’t assume I am Muslim.

@DowntonFlabbie From what I understand OP is not white.

I have said I don’t assume that Danes will know a single thing about Sikhism. And that is MORE than okay. But it’s easier for some on this thread to paint me in a certain light to fit with their narratives of me wanting to cause trouble.

Ask me an open question re my religion and I will happily answer! I am obviously ignorant on many cultures. I don’t assume identity when I meet people from other cultures as I am nowhere near informed enough. I ask open ended questions when and if appropriate

Basic politeness by your standards.

I can pass for white (depending on tan and lighting) many in the UK assume I am Mediterranean.

I am the same colouring as Naomi Scott.

But many people also pick up on the fact I am mixed based on my darker eyes and jet black hair.

We don't get offended when people assume things about us that we perceive as neutral or positive.

I end up feeling guilty saying no I’m not Muslim all the time. Like I am distancing myself.

This is really lovely, OP, that you want to be in solidarity with Muslims.

You aren't distancing yourself by saying you're not Muslim, you're telling your truth, so don't feel bad.

As you can from this thread, some people will never get it.

Never get what? Someone accidentally thinking you're something you're not? Surely the grown up response is simply to clarify and move on?

They did not ask if the beer was halal.

They made a judgement implying OP was doing something naughty (drinking beer).

OP says:

"God forbid I have a beer with new people. “Oh is that not halal?"

OP, even Muslims get annoyed with the constant questions and constantly being held to higher standards than everyone else. It gives many people a stick to beat Muslims with (and those perceived to be Muslim).