Sick of ignorant people re my religion

[Loisep]

I’m married to a Dane. We met in London at university. We have a great relationship but the ignorance from his friends, family and acquaintances is almost too much to handle.

I am half Indian and was loosely raised Sikh. I think the UK does quite well in comparison to other countries re education on religion. Most Brits do not naturally assume I am Muslim.

That is not the case when I am in Denmark. God forbid I have a beer with new people. “Oh is that not halal?” Blah blah. I end up feeling guilty saying no I’m not Muslim all the time. Like I am distancing myself. I knew there would cultural differences but I never expected such ignorance. So many people think brown people = Arab (in Europe).

Dh wants to move back home and I would if it wasn’t for this extreme ignorance. I worry for future kids.

Am I the one with a chip on my shoulder? Should I just accept that people from other countries have been exposed to different cultural groups? Ie not had an Indian diaspora

It’s not about culture though is it it’s about basic human respect.

you can not have any understanding about something without being disrespectful to other humans.

All of a sudden mumsnet has no problem with ignorance.

And therefore we should accept the practice of child brides because it is a feature of certain cultures and they know no better?

No, the grown up thing is to not ask in the first place. When did you last get asked in a bar if you're Christian?

Some people will never get that their micro aggressions are alienating and dangerous.

Why do you need one? How do you identify catholics?!

My view op is that you don’t comment on people’s food choices anyway , personal comments are rude. If someone tells you they are x religion and you are interested then you can ask if it’s ok to ask questions. I’d think they were a bit thick saying is that halal.

Most Mumsnetters will always choose not having a mirror shined on them.

Exactly , if it’s not important to know if someone is Catholic then the same is true for all other religions. It doesn’t matter.

Exactly. Can you imagine the outcry if a Muslim asked a white person why they're eating or drinking something that they perceive to be forbidden to them?

The Muslim would be accused of being a fundamentalist and religious nut job.

Or they could shut the fuck up and let her enjoy her beer 🤷🏾‍♀️.
It's fine choosing to be ignorant, even better with a closed mouth.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Eh?
Just clarify and move on.

How many times have you been asked to clarify your religion in a bar?

Eh?
What a massive jump and over reaction.

I think that the idea that Japan might belong to Hong Kong was probably indeed influenced by the fact that Hong Kong was still a British colony at that time.

However, I am not convinced that people's grasp of world geography and history has improved overall in the last 40 years. The Internet does make it easier to get correct information, but also makes it easier to get misinformation.

Again, eh?

I don't blame you for being annoyed if you have to tell people 10 times a day what religion you are/are not. It's not something I would ever think to ask as a conversation starter and frankly, faith should be private unless you want to share that information.

As a white person, no one has ever asked me if I'm e.g Christian or Jewish so why would it be acceptable to ask someone who 'looks like a Muslim' (whatever that is!).

To be fair, my partner met and knew many Sikhs when he was at Uni and lived in London and was very fond of them, much preferred them to Muslims.

But, it clearly isn’t the last thing a Danish person would think to ask as it apparently happens so often. As this is happening in Denmark I would say that’s the measure here, not what would and wouldn’t happen in the UK

I’d rather be sat with a curious Dane than someone this aggressive

Are 99.9% of things we ask others important?

Whoopee for you 🎊

But none of what you've posted sounds like they are beingbracist or hostile though?
You sound like you have a chip on your shoulder tbh.

If it is racism, then you should expect that, especially when dating outside your race. It's a fact of life. You could try educating his friends on your culture/religion etc, be the change you want.

It sounds really annoying. Even if someone has a skin colour consistent with the Indian subcontinent, it doesn't mean you should assume they can't or shouldn't drink? Especially when they're sat there with a beer. My best mate is Turkish and raised Muslim, but drinks every day.
It must be very tiresome.
I'm glad you've not encountered it in the UK. I'd be pretty shocked if it happened in London or other places with lots of racial and religious diversity in the UK.
It's like, even if you were raised Muslim you can drink without someone questioning it? Let alone when that's not even your faith.
I wonder how many men encounter this? It could be partly sexism.

Match the question right back to them. E.g. "No, are you?" (it will confuse them and amuse you) Or "No, are you Christian?". They're white so they must be going to church three times on a Sunday, right?!

I'm from round there. It's partly lack of knowledge, partly cultural. The nuance in politeness of "what religion are you?" vs "are you Muslim?" doesn't translate well between British and Northern European cultures. While my English was technically great when I moved to the UK, I've had to learn a LOT about nuance.

Two guests at my wedding were Sikh and the husband wore a turban, as is the norm.

When looking at my wedding photos a friend overseas (not Danish, but continental European) asked if they were wearing fancy dress!

Well it was due to your comment about slaughter.

Anyway, nobody alive now was involved in that (or if they are, they are very old and number in the tens) so it's completely irrelevant anyway.

Lets look forward instead of back: the Danes are very well educated and are perfectly capable of understanding that not everyone with brown skin is Muslim. You don't need to have colonised India to understand that.