PORN HISTORY

[rubberduck68]

So I've been seeing a new man for a few weeks. All going fairly well, met OLD. Last night I saw his porn history. I checked his search history on his open laptop. I know it crosses a boundary (and would appreciate not exploring that today), BUT I just had a hunch that this man watches a lot of porn from the way he is in the bedroom (I've been through this before). Sure enough, there it was: "gang bangs" and "live cam" with women's names. A GF argued with me today that what men watch online is not who they are, but I am worried that this is not true.

Or do you want to have a discussion about how hard it is to find non porn sick men?

It's absolutely valid, if you do.

Maybe… there seems to have been a connection there from my own experience. I guess the whole point of a forum is to check in and see if you’re alone with it?

When he went for your throat did you address it with him that you thought it was bang out of order and made you feel uncomfortable ? Now you’ve snooped on his laptop you know he’s lying when you questioned him about porn. Hindsight though if you didn’t ask him.
Are you going to talk to him about it ? X

When he went for your throat did you address it with him that you thought it was bang out of order and made you feel uncomfortable ?

The point is - a well.adjusted man wouldn't have done it in the first place.

Are you going to talk to him about it ? X

Why?

Women aren't here to teach me that porn isn't real sex and that they need to get consent for rough sex.

If they can't figure those out on their own .... It doesn't say much good about them; they're not projects to teach obvious things about being a decent human.

I wouldn't say so.

Porn use is endemic.

(And furthermore it's escalating into cam sex use).

As soon as home internet connections were standard, that happened; but it's even more the case due to smart phones, where you don't even have to arse around with a pc or laptop.

And of course the porn sites have just gotten bigger and bigger.

I think it's very common, as well, for the amount (and nature) of the porn men are watching to warp their view & practice of sex.

Looks like he crossed a much bigger line first, during sex.

Which prompted the op's suspicions and heavily contributed to her "crossing a line".

I don't agree with that anyway, a bit of a snoop has saved many a woman from misery.

I never said anything about teaching men ? So you’ve miss understood that by a mile.

I thought the OP was asking for advice on how to deal with the search history, and the rough sex so I was asking if she had already addressed what he had done when it happened, or not ?

Yes, I did address it in the moment, which lead to talks about his porn use and influences, which he lied about.

Just curious do you talk to your husband about your fantasies?