Do you teach your child to hit back?

[SweetBobby]

If yes, why?
If no, why?

I do and I feel pretty strongly about it. Being able to stand up for yourself in life is absolutely vital.

YABU- No I don't
YANBU- Yes I do

@Thevelvelletes the snp would spin it so the killer was the true victim..

So very true.

Thank you. That's appreciated.

As an adult, he was boasting about it. I found out when some S3 girls came into my class laughing and asking if it was true.

I told them to pass on my thanks for admitting to it and that he'd be hearing from my lawyers. (Bluff, of course.) He fled north.

She wittered a load of nonsense when similar happened in Fife. Maybe each region is taking it in turns to be the "only" violent area?

Your attitude is the issue. Calling those who walk away as weak. Cop on

That’s not the same person who said the weak comment.

No, they're more likely to hit you with a truncheon or use a taser.

It is semantics. If you punch somebody on the nose (which stuns them and causes their eyes to water etc) before making your escape this is textbook self defence. Much like the eye pokes/knee to groin/slap to ear that are commonly taught in self defence classes.

Go and take a krav maga lesson (realistic self defence system) and see what they teach you. It won't be to let the attacker pummel you.

A lot of posters have mentioned the grievous risk of killing somebody with a punch. Given this, I don't understand why anyone wouldn't do their upmost to stop somebody doing this to them?

If the choice is being killed or potentially finding yourself in court having killed somebody in self defence surely the latter is preferable.

I remember a documentary about a young man who'd killed an attacker with one punch. He didn't face any criminal charges.

As the saying goes, it’s better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

My husband took up Shotokan karate after being accosted and threatened by one of the local heroin dealers and his pal. The dealer was a former pupil who still had family members at the school where DH and I both taught at the time. (Most of the men in the family have convictions by now. One of them was a wife beater and arsonist. He didn't go to prison, however, until he bit a police officer.) He had previously turned up at the school demanding to see DH because he had dared to give his son lines. (It wouldn't happen now: most secondary schools in our LA have banned teachers from issuing punishment exercises.)

In the Heidie's office, the bloke had started to jump over a desk to hit DH. DH just stepped out of his way and the Heidie told the former pupil to leave.

When accosted, DH kept calm and walked into an area where there were other people. It was a Saturday, broad daylight.

He joined the local karate club. He was in his late 50s at the time; got his black belt in his mid 60s. At the point when he got his brown belt, the dealer's daughter asked me whether that was my husband who had passed the exam for the belt. (My husband had retired by then. The results had been published in the sports page of the local paper.)

That one short article was enough to get the dealer and his family off our back. As DH said, he doubted that a man of his age would be a match for more than one of the scoundrels, but he enjoyed the training.

The club sensei always stressed that you avoided troublemakers and places where you thought that you might find troublemakers. Do your best to de-escalate, block if necessary and get away - but yes, "Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6" was quoted.

The dealer died when he was in his early 60s. FB was full of heart-rending tributes from his extended criminal gang of a family. DH had outlived him and commented "Well, that's one worry out of the way."

The dealer had previously appeared on STV news as a "victim" of drugs. It would appear that he'd been stupid enough to try his own merchandise, so that no doubt contributed to his demise. The men in the family weren't terribly bright: one of his nephews was done for re-set after travelling out of the area to sell jewellery that he and a relative had stolen...He gave the jeweller his real name and address.

I think it also depends on the environment you're in as an adult. If you live an upper MC lifestyle in a leafy suburb then it's likely very different to living in a rough inner city borough full of drunks and crackheads. In the latter, running away may only work until the next time they see you and remember you're an easy target.

I used to do supermarket deliveries in HGVs and would regularly have angry motorists kicking off after they'd parked in the loading bay (yellow box) and been blocked in by me. After the first few times of moving the truck I realised how much of an arseache it was - had to restrap everything and put tail lift up (the one time I tried to do it without securing the cages some of them fell over and made a massive mess, spilt liquids etc).

Only time I'd ever contemplate moving truck was if it was a truly dodgy bloke who I genuinely thought might assault me or damage the truck while I went to get security. Generally, most men won't want to hit a female who's not being aggressive, especially on camera, as that's hard to defend and I wasn't really afraid of most women being an avid thai boxer competing in full contact interclub smokers at the time. Obviously I was increasing the likelihood of an altercation by not being a pushover but where do you draw the line?

I remember the last incident before I left that job. Was at a a supermarket and an old Audi A3 was parked in the loading bay. I told the manager and they did an announcement on the tannoy. Nobody came forward to say I'll be out in a minute, so I just carried on. Then about ten mins later a chavvy woman came out and immediately started with the "you've blocked me in, I'm in a hurry". I told her 10-15 mins and went back to what I was doing, and she was calling me everything under the sun and threatening to kick off.

She was a little bigger than me and a lot fatter so probs didn't feel intimidated but I knew 100% I'd have taken her out in seconds, although obviously I didn't want that. It's these types of situations where you need to be able and prepared to defend yourself if you're to have any modicum of self respect IMO.

Yes, had it kicked off and I ended up seriously injuring her in an unlucky turn of events (maybe she hits her head etc) then yes I'd almost certainly regret it. But I'd feel the same way if I crashed my car tomorrow and ended up paralysed knowing that public transport would only have added 30 mins to my journey. Sometimes you need to be able to stand your ground and not be pushed around.

@WearyAuldWumman lovely origin story.

However , let’s face it , if that guy actually had it in for your DH, there would've been a lot more than two opportunistic incidents. Or waited around months/years and then gone "oh shit, I've left it too late now".Nor would he have cared about a brown belt when he had , I presume, weapons and minions available to him.

Just a violent man , with anger issues and a short attention span.

He was small fish...but yes, he was merely opportunistic. Nevertheless, the threats did stop after the brown belt was received.

It was also noticeable that the offspring stopped acting up in class (even though DH had retired by then). There's nowt queerer than folk.

Unfortunately, the local police were of no help with regard to the extended family. It didn't directly affect us, but when the dealer's relative beat up his partner and then set fire to her parents' garage, the local police dealt with it by visiting the in-laws and advising the middle-aged father to get the young man by himself and beat him up... (No, he didn't do that.)

As I said, that particular delight only went to prison when he bit a police officer - he was caught driving under the influence of drugs.

The chap who was done for re-set was only caught because the victims went round all the jeweller's in the wider area and located the stolen jewellery themselves. They lived in the countryside; their jewellery had been sold to a jeweller in the city.

my son has just bin put intoo reflection for this exact reason, kid who has been calling him stupid and hitting him in the nose and winding him up and also stole his pokemon folder had/has managed to manipulate my ADHD/Autistic son into saying my son was lying about this whole situation which i know my child has not told a lie and because my son wants to just be friends and play with this child he agreed he made this up! which i know he did not after coming home physically distressed on 2 occasions and sad about it all. friday just gone i pick him up from school to be firstly, told oh your son is in reflection for pushing this kid across the classroom, secondly when i tried to get my version of events across the teacher rudely pointed out how it was all made up of why my son retaliated! like what the actual. i am fuming and i am going to make a complaint to head of school as for my son to even put his hands on someone else is completley out of character. i feel personally attacked. i am angry about the situation as there is clearly some manipulation going on from somewere. its soo unfair i wish i was a fly on the classroom wall.

Hitting is ONLY in self-defence

1. Have you ask them to stop?
2. Have you tried moving away? If yes, hit if needed, if not NO HITTING, unless it's a situation of serious violence and you think that you might be really seriously injured if you don't hit now!

I think this is especially important with growing children (maybe especially boys) who's strength is changing rapidly. They get annoyed, maybe by a child who is being mean but not hurting them, and hit harder than they think. "I bust their nose" (or whatever) "because they are saying unkind words" is likely to lead to you being in bigger trouble than them. Same when they are big and on the street. "Self defence" is fine, but when they are bloody and bruised (or worse) and you aren't, it might be that you are arrested for violence/GBH and they are not.

i doubt it would lead to me being arrested as i wouldn't put my life in jeopardy for it i just think if a kid is constantly being mean to a child n hitting and stealing then manipulating the victim to lie for then the tables to turn on the situation and now his in trouble for sticking up for themselves whilst this malignant narcisstic mom has wound me up in the playground by calling a 6 yr old a bullshitter? how would you react to sito. personally i would love to be neenawed away after punching trampy lights out but im trying too rise above it for my sons sake, also because i dont want this sneaky child to keep picking on my son. kids should be allowed to stick up for themselves especially if the teacher has ongoingly ignored my childs plea's do i file a formal complaint too governers for a grown ass teacher to not evaluate this situation instead of implying a 6 yr old who has not made things up not hit anyone before is suddenly making such specific incidents up whilst also physically being sad about it all that im dealing with after school and having to console a liar who is always usually loving, kind and caring. a school complaint is going to have to be put in place .