Do you teach your child to hit back?

[SweetBobby]

If yes, why?
If no, why?

I do and I feel pretty strongly about it. Being able to stand up for yourself in life is absolutely vital.

YABU- No I don't
YANBU- Yes I do

Well no one has been able to explain what me and Ds should have done instead, after a year of being bullied and the school doing nothing.

The other kid has spent his late teen and early adult years in prison for murder. I'm just grateful it wasn't my DS he went for that time.

Not in Scotland, if you're under the age of 16. That's probably one of the reasons why bullies here get off with so much.

To your other point - of course you give children the tools to avoid violence. Unfortunately, they don't always work and in those cases they need to be able to try to protect themselves from further assault. As I've said in previous posts, in secondary these days we're not talking about a simple slap or a single punch from bullies. Nowadays, I'm sorry to say, the bullies try to get their victims onto the floor.

Yes I have always told my daughter who is 6 to never hit first but always defend herself.

That the life outcome for 99% bullies life in prison

Ah but @Thelnebriati there's a collective here where we are dreadful, wicked people for being concerned about our own child who is being repeatedly assaulted.... we really need to be making sure the other child's OK first.. #bekind.

My DD was bullied for nearly the whole school year.
We told her to ignore, to walk away, to tell an adult, etc. School supposedly had a zero-tolerance policy. We had multiple meetings with the head and were assured they would deal with it.
Watching your previously happy child crying going to school, crying coming home because her bully had picked on her again was heartbreaking.
We thought we were doing the right thing, but the day she came home and said that X had kicked her again and when she told the teacher she was told to go away and stop telling tales was the day I realised no one was looking out for her and it was down to her. I told her that next time X picked on her to hit her until she cried.
She did exactly that the very next day and from that moment on X stopped targeting her. My DD's confidence skyrocketed and I don't regret it for a moment.
I don't care if violence is not the answer. In an ideal world, it wouldn't have had to go that far, but I have no regrets and just wish we had done it sooner.

Plenty of better ways to stand up for yourself than hitting back. It’s a bad thing to do as a child and a worse one to do as an adult.

Haha, you’re not wrong.

Also please consider possible autism, ADHD and/or a multitude of conditions that might mean that kicking lumps out of your son/daughter is outside of their control. Consider the home life of the bully and remember that all behaviour is communication. Actually, don’t use the term “bully”. It’s not kind.

If another child is hitting or otherwise using violence against your child, report them. Not to the school, to the police.

How would you stand for yourself without hitting back?

Then watch as the coppers hand it right back to the school to deal with internally, via their bullying policy or whatever they have in place.

@Julia34 by simpering....'oh gosh, you're sad and unhappy.... oh of course the ONLY thing that's acceptable is you kicking the shit out of me..you poor lamb'...

As I've said before, the problem (at least in Scotland) is that the police will absolutely not deal with anyone under the age of 16 unless it can be proved that it was attempted murder.

I can think of several 14/15 yr old pupils who were reported to the police for assaults within school or outside the school premises during lunch hour. Not one was charged.

Above, I outlined what happened when the same teenager attacked another pupil and went on to assault me and two other teachers. We made statements. The police "lost the paperwork".

The only time that something was taken seriously was when a junior set fire to a homeless person.

Oh @Kibble29 tsk tsk.... 'all behaviour is communication' dontcha know...🙄 what is your child doing to make them be hit...?

Yeah right you think they will care about what you saying

The violence in Scottish schools is out of control.
As you said it's get the victim on the floor and kick punch and humiliate all filmed for the likes.
SNP have been soft on youth crime for years and here we are kids with no boundaries.

Aye. If anyone disbelieves us, they just need to do a quick Google. The bullies are now prearranging the beatings that they give and are organising for their friends to video it.

There are people on here who seem to think that we're "just" talking about slaps.

One of the reasons that I'm not rushing back to do supply is that I'm too damned old to break up fights. I'm trying not to out myself, but one of the schools where I did supply hit the press when the parents of bullied children gave up on contacting the LA and contacted the newspapers instead.

The same week that I stopped a kid from being beaten up, two other female members of staff were hit because they were in the vicinity of pupil on pupil violence.

One young teacher had visible bruises and was made to feel that she was being difficult for not wanting the culprit in her class. The other member of staff was very heavily pregnant. Thankfully, the baby was okay.

The SNP are the oily little shites who are weak and pathetic but ingratiate themselves with the violent ones to save themselves and sacrifice others, they want to be kool and down with the kids...

It's been like that for years, but it's become worse. The time that I was hit whilst pregnant was 20+ years ago. Yes, I'm bitter about it - I miscarried the next day.

I kept my sanity by telling myself that it might have happened anyway: I was in my 40s.

Absolutely @WearyAuldWumman and you're told how awful and exclusive and ableist you are to even acknowledged the violence .

I got a phone call from SACRO wanting me to have a Restorative Conversation with the thug. According to them, he'd explained that it wasn't his fault...He'd been the victim of an assault and I'd "got in the way".

I think you're more likely to be a bully if violence is taught as a method of solving problems at home.

Fucks sake @WearyAuldWumman so still no responsibility is there?! Classic 'a big boy did it and ran away'...

@WearyAuldWumman That's horrendous,there was one in Aberdeen recently where a girl was kicked in the head and face and other brats involved were shouting instructions as to what violence should be meted out to the girl lying on the floor.
It's a wee while ago The SNP education secretary said that school violence was restricted to the Aberdeen area,NO it's nation wide.
What's it going to take a kid to murdered before real action is taken.

I'm sorry to read that how traumatic for you..and you were only doing your job.