Need a hand hold part 4

[Imbluedalale]

Hi spoonies .
Welcome to season 4 xxx

Hi @user1471540245 , how’s your day been? Good I hope. Thank you for your reply.
I’m still trying to get used to not being apologetic so much it’s just in my brain still that I need to always apologise for something or other.
At the moment I’m just trying to get through each day and whilst I don’t particularly feel positive right now I’m trying to do one or two small things for me each day even if that just means watching something on tv that I’ve wanted to watch or having a long hot bath. Just small things really.
I do want to go out and have a walk but I always say ‘tomorrow I’ll go’ but I haven’t managed that yet.
You’re so right , relationships with teens are very difficult and it’s been a massive learning curve for me on what I’m doing wrong. So for now I’m just taking a step back , following the guide and trying to keep my emotions in check.
I don’t know why but the nights are the worst and that’s when I get most upset. I’m not sleeping very well but don’t want to go back on sleeping medication so I’m just accepting it is what it is for now.
Have you got any nice plans for the weekend?It’s really cold here so I’ll probably potter about and do abit of cleaning and watch some tv maybe a film or two xx

Good evening @Dontknowwhyidoit , I love your username btw. ❤️
Thank you for following and reading my threads that’s so lovely. And thank you for your lovely kind , positive words and for saying I’m doing well. Most days I don’t think I am tbh but I need to stop berating myself and be thankful for what I do achieve even if it’s just a small thing.
I have just downloaded the ACCEPTS skills and had a read. Thank you . It really makes sense and is simple to follow so I will take the tips on there and try and do what they suggest to see if it helps.
Your right I do have lots of positives to be thankful for, I have an improved relationship with my eldest, I have a home which is cosy and warm. I have my mum and dad and sister back in my life and whilst I feel sad it’s not the same feeling as feeling depressed and I do think my mental health has improved that way. And not to forget the amazing support I have had on here. So I am a lot more fortunate than others and I am so so grateful for what I do have xx

@Imbluedalale Oh, you’re absolutely definitely allowed to feel exactly how you do. You haven’t done anything wrong. Your feelings are utterly valid. You have had so much thrown at you, so very much, and you are still standing. You are immensely strong and resilient. Just doing the small things is HUGE.
You’re strong, you’ve determined, you have stuck to what you know is the right thing to do even when you’ve been in a hurricane of crazy challenges. It will pass and sunshine will come again. You so deserve that.
Maybe tomorrow you could just set a goal to open the door and just stand there and get some fresh air. Maybe in days to come the walk will follow. How is your leg doing?
You are an absolute warrior. Believe it. Big hugs to you.

Hi @CookiePookie , how are you? Good I hope.
Thank you so much for your lovely post. It feels good to hear that others think your doing well when you feel guilty yourself for not achieving what you had hoped for that day.
Today has been another meh day but I’m trying to take the positives out of each day .
Your idea of opening the door and standing to get some fresh air sounds brilliant and achievable so I will definitely try that tomorrow . Thank you 🙏
My leg is healing up nicely thank you and hasn’t caused me any bother lately so that’s good. I hope you are ok and I hope you have a lovely weekend xx

Hi @Imbluedalale , how's things? Xx

@Imbluedalale ive just read all of your posts in the past two days. Another mumsnetter sent me here to prove that my life can get better if I leave.

I have laughed, cried, laughed some more. Was full of anxiety every time one of your threads was coming to an end thinking I wouldn’t find out what happened next.

Please know you’re an inspiration to me. I hope you are happy and at peace. I hope your relationship with your kids has got to a better place. I hope your health has improved.

I will think of your story often, I really wish you the best ❤️❤️

Hey Bananabeau. I don't know your situation, but here's a handhold if you need one. Onwards and upwards!

Hi @bananabeau . First of all thank you for reading my threads and for your lovely kind words . I’m in tears reading your post , thank you .
I’m currently sat in my garden in my new home and I feel so so different now compared to last year .
It was my 41st birthday yesterday and when the clock struck midnight I got all emotional thinking what a difference a year makes .
I’ve got a home , so many new friends , my mum and dad back and most importantly my relationship with my children is the best it’s ever been .
I feel happy, at peace and positive . Don’t get me wrong I still have bad days but they are few and far between now .
My boys don’t live with me unfortunately, my youngest is meant to be with me 50/50 but my ex is making that very difficult but I see them as much as I can and every second I’m with them I cherish it and it’s very special . My daughter lives with me and our relationship has gotten so so much better . She’s still a typical teenager but she tells me I’m her best friend and we talk more and helping each other as much as we can .
Unfortunately ex won’t have contact with her , see or speak to her since she can’t to live with me.
Have you got a link for your thread? I’d like to read it if that’s ok?
Leaving , well not leaving but being kicked out was the best thing my ex ever did for me because I have got to live again, feel peace and smiling . I forgot what it felt like to smile. I’m happy for you to have my number if you’d like and will support you in any which way I can .
Oh also I’m in remission with my cancer , I truly believe that was helped by me getting away from him. My mental health is so much better too, I’m having trauma therapy which is hard but I know it will help in the long run.
Sending you a big big hug beautiful xx

Happy belated birthday!!!!!

Good to get an update, I’ve thought about you often and am really pleased life is going as well as can be. Happy belated Birthday.🎁

Thank you lovely . Hope you are ok . My sister took me to the Ivy for lunch , I tried sushi. I didn’t like it xx

Awww thank you lovely , that’s so kind and thank you for thinking of me .
I wouldn’t have got to the place I am without the support of all the people on this thread . You all saved my life xx

@Imbluedalalei literally thought about you yesterday hoping you were still doing well. You are absolutely proof that even when you think there’s no hope, there is! I hope @bananabeaucan channel some of your strength and do what needs to be done

I had to delete my previous posts unfortunately as the media got a hold of them and they were extremely outing. I was loving the support from MN’ers but i was too scared to post again.

I love the thought of your WhatsApp idea, I had a lot of support and we had your version of the spoonies. My post was the pot noodle wankers.

I would love to have a gang like yours. I’m so glad your health is better and you have your girl. I pray things get better with your sons xx

Hi @ringmybe11 . How are you?
Awww thank you for thinking of me . I’m doing really well thank you . Ex is engaged now to the girl he met last March .
I never in a million years thought I’d be where I am now xx

Awww no that’s not good . Stupid media .
My ex makes me seeing the boys extremely difficult . He won’t let younger come unless he gets a taxi and it’s £25 each way so £50 every time he comes here . And he won’t let me see them on special occasions and takes him out of school a lot but I’m not ever going to let him see a reaction from me . I haven’t spoken to him since the day he made me homeless .
You should make a wattsapp group , people can pm you there number so it’s not outing .
If there’s anything I can do please let me know xx

I’m fine thank you. I’m coming to Doncaster for the races on Friday!

@Imbluedalale You are a triumph and an inspiration!!!

@bananabeau thats a shame about your threads. I hope you are okay because you are going through an awful lot x

@Imbluedalale- so pleased you’re doing so well - think about you, and all spoonies, when using my Xmas gift spoon (you probably won’t remember but my daughter randomly got me)
Anyway, you are officially amazing and every single good thing is officially more than deserved.

Oh wow that’s so close to me! Have you got your outfit sorted? Xx

Thank you lovely and thank you for being such an amazing supportive friend xx

Hi @MsJinks , how are you?
I definitely remember you , I have my spoon too and smile every time I open my drawer and see it .
Thankyou for your lovely kind words . I’ll show you updates on my home xx

Here you go …

I hate to bring up the ‘C’ word but seriously I’d love for @Imbluedalale to update her thread before Christmas so we can show off our spoons and generally support her.
It kept me going last year. I wasn’t having a best time and Googled ‘need a hand hold’ and it brought me here.