School issue - violent kid

[PeloMom]

My kid started reception in a new school this year. Everything was going well until recently.

He comes every day complaining from a kid in the class getting physical (I don’t know if it’s just with my kid or other kids too although I have overheard the teacher giving parts of a similar speech to other parents as to me in regards to the situation).

I have been proactively approached by the teacher and principal explaining that the situation is being dealt with by involving the school councillors, parents etc.

What is a reasonable timeline for me to expect a resolution?

On top of this It’s an independent school so I’m not prepared to be paying a good amount of money for my kid to be assaulted daily (not that that’s acceptable in public schools to be clear). I have to confirm whether we will be continuing next year at the school at some point. Is it unreasonable for me to expect a solution in the next 2-3 months (holiday time included)? I appreciate it can be a process just trying to gauge if anyone has dealt with this how long it took for them to see a change. What assurances would you seek in the meantime from the school that your child is safe?
YABU- solution will take more than 2-3 months; start looking for a new school
YANBU- thing should resolve quickly

Is your school at least 2 form entry? I asked for the other child to move class, it took time, but the pressure from several parents eventually made it happen. I know that's just transferring the challenge, but my priority was keeping my child safe.

If I was you I'd try and get in contact with parents of any other kids that have been targeted by the bully and approach the principal together.

"Either you sort this out or we're all taking our money elsewhere" should get the urgency across

If you don’t like people posting on the thread correcting incorrect information, don’t post incorrect information. Incorrect information makes parents advocating for their children harder. No-one is forcing you to reply. You don’t get to tell me where I can and can’t post.

@Bushmillsbabe it is, and last year the boys were in different classes and we had no issues. I was so annoyed that the classes had been mixed again and they were back together. The second week of this year, my son was punched twice.

My ideal would be for them to be separated again but I'm worried they'll move my son as that'll be easier. His closest friends are in this class and he is absolutely thriving this year. He just clicks with his teacher so well.

Thank you to everyone who had given advice. I've written some of it down ready for the meeting.

OP - sorry for hijacking your thread. I was thinking about starting my own but was worried it was identifying!

You need to make it clear to them the emotional impact that this will have on your son if they move him, on top of what he has already endured, take it to the Governor's if needed, and don't worry if some are also parents, they have to keep it confidential.

Bring your child's Dad or someone else to support you if you can, and ask for a written summary of the meeting/write your own and email to the head after. I found that we seemed to get further when both of us went to meetings with the head, and when we created a written record. I think it showed just how seriously we were taking this, that we both took time off to meet in person, and that we were not going to let this rest. The head was actually very helpful, asked relevant questions around what we felt the impact on our child was, what actions school could put in place to help her feel safe again, which adults im school she trusted most to support her etc.

Thank you @Bushmillsbabe

Dad is coming with me because I'll just get upset and I want to be taken seriously.

@FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee always best to have 2 people in meeting. Having partner there is good. Prepare for the meeting by writing down the questions. Keep it focussed on your child. It's not a counselling session so be pragmatic whilst explaining the impact of the current set up on your child.

Ensure separation. If 2 classes, do they do anything joint? If so, ensure they are split for this too. What are they going to do to bolster his confidence? Think about what would work for your son. Do the incidents also happen out of school hours? Eg on pick up? Could they be released at different times? Do they go to the same after school clubs?

Always follow up with notes. If they send anything to you you don't agree with, or need clarification on, follow up.

Ask for time lines. Next steps. Next meeting.

Explain that you don't want to link him making valid complaint about being hit, with him being taken away from his circle of friends.

Explain that he has a great bond with his teacher- and given his ongoing disruption it's unfair for him to experience any more.

Yes. The wonderful school. Who did their job in protecting other children and looking out for your son’s well being. If the school hadn’t stepped in appropriately and dealt with your child and allowed them to hurt my child then I would have kicked up an almighty storm regardless of how you felt in order to protect my child