To have walked out of my work Christmas party in favour of dining alone

[Namechangey23]

New employer..I don't know many people as yet. Works Christmas party on Oxford st. No real entertainment, no food (yet!) and dull dull small talk, which, to be honest, was never my strong suit. God it bored the absolute tits off me. So I've walked out at 7.30pm in favour of dinner alone in a nice Turkish restaurant. Sod wasting a child free night on that rubbish! Life's too bloody short! Should I have stayed to show willing, AIBU for leaving...or would you do the same? Yes I've seen the mistake in the title and no I can't change it.

Life is too short to. I would have done the same.

OP, as the master of the French/Irish exit, I commend you! Office parties are torture for the introverts among us, and being new, and it being a boring party - I am impressed you lasted 90 minutes. Which yes for London is an absolutely acceptable length of time to make an appearance and then take off. Hope you enjoyed your delicious meal.

I agree with OP. Life is too short to spend time doing things that don't make you happy. She doesn't enjoy small talk but made the effort for an hour and a half. Of her own unpaid time. Doing something that was making her unhappy. I very much doubt people will give a damn, especially as it was busy and a bar and no sit down meal. Sometimes it seems like the hive mind on MN takes over and everyone goes along with the initial few replies. I say good on you!

It's fine OP. You showed your face - no-one has to stay until the bitter end.

This ! I probably would’ve have had the courage to do it - but I wish I could

also in my experience realistically - you’re unlikely to face disapproval at work in my experience

Totally agree - good I. You and I doubt people will give a damn

The thing I really don’t get is why you’re writing like you’re Emmeline Pankhurst, chaining yourself to the railings of parliament. You went to a party, you stayed for over an hour, then you left. There’s nothing of any note in that.

I would have told someone I had a terrible migraine and please make my excuses for me.

Have you had many office jobs? Surprised it's taken you until 50 to learn how to avoid the enforced 'fun'. Anyway you're here now, so don't feel bad! Also - party shoes and underwear? What? You work in London no one wears heels here anymore. Free yourself!

Why would they have persuaded you to stay? Maybe they found your conversation ‘dull, dull’ they might have cheerily waved you off!

If it was drinks at a bar would the expectation not be to have a drink, bit of a chat then people just go home when they want? I wouldn't worry about it. I think I would have said I was going though. Probably just oh I need to get off now, see you tomorrow. Where I work I don't think anyone would be bothered if people went for a drink, didn't, or only popped in.

Is a french exit just walking off? I haven't heard that phrase before.

Why are you considering yourself some kind of feminist icon because you left your works party after an hour or so?

I totally get not wanting to make pleasant but dull small talk but you have to start somewhere with people. Once you get to know them, you might find they’re not so dull. I run a social club and the first thing I tell anyone new is to keep coming because you need to give people a chance and give friendships time to develop.

But anyway, I do think you were kind of rude and they will eventually pick up on the fact that you think yourself above them. From your posts, I think you will rather like that.

It’s leaving without saying goodbye, yes. In French, of course, it’s ‘filer a l’’anglaise’ (to leave in the English way).

I'd always heard of the Irish goodbye rather than the French exit! I'm Irish fwiw. Might have done the odd Irish goodbye in my time.

Why are you asking us then. You obviously thing YANBU.

FWIW I think that's rather rude. leaving early like that is hardly better than making an excuse not to go.

You're gonna look very odd

Oodiks · Today 00:45

"This whole thread is hysterical - so wildly judgmental!!"

It's unhinged ! " Marked card, obnoxious, shocking behaviour, rude and arrogant " etc. all because she left a bar full of 50 people after one and a half hours.

This thread is like another universe. Honestly Im nearly 60, been working since I was 18 and never really noticed anyone slipping off early from a bar/party let alone judged them for it.

No, I don’t think you were rude. You attended, stayed a while, then left. I wasn’t aware that there were rules about how long (or even if) you should attend. Perhaps it might have been polite to say something along the lines of “I’m sorry, but I must leave now” rather than just disappear, but otherwise, you have my sympathy, there’s nothing worse being stuck somewhere you’d rather not be.

Work cultures vary a lot. It's good that your boss wasn't there; they can hardly fault you for not going/staying if they didn't. Someone else MAY have noticed and asked about you during the party - I'm sure I saw Changey; where's she gone?" - but it's also possible they won't notice or they'll assume you had to leave early and maybe told whoever you were with at the time and they didn't remember to pass it on. And if you were alone when you decided to leave, there's no obligation to tell anyone given that it sounds like it wasn't a formal RSVP event.

I'd just be prepared with what you're going to say if someone does ask. I'd keep it vague and act like it never crossed your mind that you'd done anything strange - yes, I was there, wasn't it nice! Did you have good time?

Office Christmas parties and the like are really Old Hat and high time they were dismissed. These are colleagues not family: you HAVE to tolerate them because that's what you're paid for in order for the organisation to function, but Hell no you shouldn't be expected to socialise with them.

Especially if they are mostly a bunch of throat-cutting, back-stabbing company androids/arses.

I admire you. But how do you expect to get to know your colleagues a bit better by leaving? I would have stayed a little while then made my excuses.

I’ve done similar, early start tomorrow, ‘dogs home alone, must fly…..’ Absolutely don’t blame you.

Did you manage to escape today’s too. What workplace inflicts more than one on its teams?! Cruel!

These days I just refuse in advance, I tell everyone I’m extremely anti-social and couldn’t care less about their opinion of that.

"I'd keep it vague and act like it never crossed your mind that you'd done anything strange -"

Well she hasn't done anything strange.

Well she has. Starting this thread about something so mundane is strange.