To have walked out of my work Christmas party in favour of dining alone

[Namechangey23]

New employer..I don't know many people as yet. Works Christmas party on Oxford st. No real entertainment, no food (yet!) and dull dull small talk, which, to be honest, was never my strong suit. God it bored the absolute tits off me. So I've walked out at 7.30pm in favour of dinner alone in a nice Turkish restaurant. Sod wasting a child free night on that rubbish! Life's too bloody short! Should I have stayed to show willing, AIBU for leaving...or would you do the same? Yes I've seen the mistake in the title and no I can't change it.

I think it's fine and I like my work colleagues! You stayed an hour and a half, it was a drinks only event with 50+ people, few will even have realised you ducked out early. By the point anyone noticed who knows what time you stayed until? Some PPs are reacting like you walked out of a sit down dinner after ten minutes.

If there was 50 odd people you won’t be missed, especially if you’re new. I admire you for having the balls to walk out. So many times in my life I have thought ‘fuck this shit’. When I was young I stuck jobs I was miserable in but now I’m in my 40s I think fuck this shit and do what I want. I really hope you enjoyed the Turkish food.

Oh, I think that's okay, then. Since nobody knows you yet, they're unlikely to have noticed you disappearing.

You'll probably get away with making some "lovely evening" type murmurings, and you'll be thought of as sociable. Hope your solo dinner was as enjoyable as it sounds!

Bit of a drip feed - you could have mentioned that you’d been there for 1.5 hours in your original post, because it did come across as an early flounce. As it is I don’t think it’s rude to only stay for 1.5 hours for what is just drinks and canapés at a bar with 50 other people.

But I also don’t get people high-fiving you as if you just climbed Kilamanjaro. It doesn’t take guts to leave a work party, it’s not a badge of honour.

Also you might like to know that in France it’s called "filer à l'anglais… which rather turns things on its head.

Final point - plenty of people don’t get a works party or have to pay for it themselves, so for people being sneery about the whole concept of having a do in the first place - not everyone is so fortunate to even have the option.

Presumably she is being paid for the time she should be there? If so, very rude!

If not…. What makes you think you are more important than her family and friends? She works with you all week..

It's absolutely fine. I doubt anyone really noticed (or cared -not in a rude way, but you are colleagues, not best mates).
If it's mentioned, which I doubt it will be, just say you had a lovely time. You don't need an excuse for leaving drinks at a bar.

Oh and if it's 50 plus people, everyone will probably think you are talking to other groups if they've even twigged you are not around, which i doubt. Announcing your departure at a bar to a large group of colleagues isn't necessary at all.

How is eating alone brave? Anyhoo…

Fascinated by the people who think that this is a huge deal and that the OP should have made some sort of announcement that she was leaving, otherwise her card will be marked forever more. I’m glad some sane people have entered the chat as I was starting to think I was going a bit mad.

I've always known this as an Irish goodbye, not a French exit, maybe that's why I'm very blasé about this 😂

I don’t think I’m more important than their family and friends, sometimes we have social occasions at work, sometimes after work. Sometimes you just need to make an effort she doesn’t.

Yes often it’s paid

So it was a stand around, mingling affair and you stayed an hour and a half? I'd say that's fine. Obviously a sit down dinner would be rude, but people flit in and out of these types of occasions all the time - and isn't that the point?

There are never enough canopes/bar bites/bowl food whatever anyway at these things - more for those who were enjoying it.

As you’re so pleased with yourself I’m not sure why you’re asking for further validation here? If you are the boring non-entity you claim to be then I guess you’ve done your colleagues a favour not having to endure you for a whole evening.

I wouldn't consider this in the slightest bit rude. It's no more rude that not helping yourself to free tea or coffee if your employer provides that. There should be no obligation to go to your work do.

I can see the temptation - office events seem to veer between alcohol fuelled/sex on the photocopier types (not so much these days though!) and dull events where you find that you have nothing in common with everyone else bar work.

Unfortunately, it's one of those things where attendance is expected, particularly if the firm has paid. I did get out of it one year but I had a broken hip - anything less and I probably would have been expected to turn up.

As it's your first such event (and if the firm was paying), then it really wasn't politic to walk out. It gives a bad impression and you've got to work with these people for the next year so it would have been better to grit your teeth and play nicely. Even if you had paid, it still looks dismissive.

On a separate note, who on earth has already had their Christmas Party? What fresh hell is this?

This. I am embarrassed for you at your lack of manners and self-awareness. Your behaviour was shocking

That was really rude of you to be honest.

Good on you I say!

I could fill a book with details of shit parties and nights out I've had to stay at when I really wanted to be doing something else.
The only issue is if someone at your work things it's rude, but you could make an excuse up?
Felt ill, partner or kids stuff?

I’d just tell them tomorrow that you felt ill and had to make a hurried exit.

And in my workplace no one would care if someone left early although if someone noticed they’d probably be worried about you!

Meh, I would've done the same thing. Where in your contract does it state you must attend social functions with colleagues?! Absolutely no where! You do you!

If there were 50 people there, that’s a lot of people. Doubtful that many would even notice if someone slipped out. Especially in a bar. I agree about Christmas parties, and I used to force myself to go every year. Until I got a bit older and thought why am I doing this?? Life’s too short. I think it’s quite common these days for people to bow out of attending them.

My partner has worked his way up through companies over the last 30 years, and done the Christmas thing many times.

In all the companies he has worked for, if there is a booked activity like bowling, or a sit down meal, then it is polite to stay for the duration of the activity and probably a drink or two after. At a meeting like the OP describes, 1-2 hours is enough time - go round and do the getting your face seen thing, say hello to everyone and meet people you have not had a chance to meet yet, then nobody cares if you leave quietly after that. Often the bosses have been some of the first to go, usually after sorting out a good sized bar tab for people to spend.

Sometimes he hasn't gone - some of the London dos are a bit shit - lots of eye wateringly expensive alcohol, barely any food, music you can hardly hear each other over. Some of the dos are very cool - boats, foreign trips, etc, and those you need to stick with. But when he has slipped out and come home, or not gone at all, it has definitely not affected his career.

Some of you would never want a night out with me because I always perform a French exit, usually because I’ve gone outside to cool down and just think ‘I’m not going back in’ so just go home and text my mates from the train/cab.

Obviously only if there’s a group I wouldn’t leave a couple of grounds but that’s pretty normal in our group.

But belong old I can use my arthritic knee as an excuse for a quick get away.

OP I can guarantee that nobody cared and that this is not going to be an issue for your job AT ALL, given the details: 50 plus people, big corporate group partying in Oxford st. I can also guarantee that posters that seem to be so offended by you leaving this kind of party have never worked in a similar company, or they would get it.