Hoping that Greg Wallace is forgiven, rather than cancelled

[Toodaloo1567]

Just a few concerns about this whole GW thing. Caveat: I do not condone behaviour that is illegal.

1. It does kind of look like a whole bunch of privileged TV luvvies are clamouring to denounce someone with really quite humble roots. I grew up in London and am constantly paranoid about how I come across to my mainly middle class colleagues. The thing is, middle class and privileged people operate by a set of unwritten rules. It’s like a full time job in itself trying to emulate their way of interacting, lest you be called out for not being ‘nice’ enough or doing something odd to them, like forgetting to start an email with ‘Hope you are well?’. Only, they won’t let you know to your face that you’ve accidentally been too sharp or direct, or maybe that your joke wasn’t woke enough - no, that stuff just goes straight to HR.
2. The equality act 2010 makes it the employer’s responsibility to prevent sexual harassment in the workplace. Why wasn’t all this lewd stuff dealt with? GW said that no one had made a formal complaint. Again, it makes me wonder whether the middle class luvvies just didn’t want to call things out at the time because it’s ‘beneath’ them to even consider doing something about it.
3. Even though he’s apologised, the public doesn’t think that’s good enough. It’s like only perfect people get to keep their careers. Woe betide you if you said something crass on twitter 10 years ago, or got caught speeding or something.

Of course, lots of you would want to shout me down over this, but you know what? We’re all mums here and many of us have sons. Boys and young men do and say crass things. GW hasn’t raped or systematically abused anyone. It doesn’t make what’s happened right, but I also don’t think it’s right that swarms of pitch-fork waving strangers get to play judge, jury and executioner. I’m a big fan of forgiveness. Am I the only one?

I think when you get to the stage of 25+ complaints across multiple productions you start to go there's a problem with his behaviour regardless. Its obviously upset a lot of people.

Add to that a known official warning for his conduct and Nestle actively kicking him out for his behaviour, I don't think I'm left in any doubt that he's crossed the line multiple times.

Other people do not have similar following them around like a bad smell to this extent.

When you abuse and are caught out in your abuse, the impact on you does not make you a victim.

His family, yes

Him, no

Huh? Not enough coffee yet, to interpret that - sorry!

Previous poster calling us all snowflakes for our reaction. Yet now a report saying how nestle sent out a message on their intranet last year regarding kicking out inside the factory due to unacceptable treatment of staff and it failing to meet their workplace standards.
(Linked article on previous page I think).

Therefore the whole of nestle are hysterical snowflakes by default.

Sexual abuse is criminal though . Assuming the allegations are true and we can't be 100% certain at this stage though it's likely to be that they are.

I do feel sympathy for his loved ones if he were to harm himself, and I'm not saying I wish he would do that even. Sympathy for the man himself though ? No. I wish GW no harm but I can't find sympathy for him either. He deserves to be taken off air . I say this as someone who doesn't one cancel culture and still listens to Michael Jackson, and John Lennon and plenty of other arseholes simply because their music was genius (I don't listen to Gary Glitter or Rolf Harris because their songs were shite) but GW is not fit to be around women.

His childhood is no excuse. 1 in 6 boys endured what he allegedly did, but 1 in 4 girls did too. That's almost most of us, if you think about it . I know very few women who can't say #MeToo in some form or another, regardless of the severity of the actual incident. "Mild" sexual abuse is still potentially damaging especially to a minor. So no, I don't really feel bad for GW. He had a choice as an adult not to act out what was done to him as a boy.

The joy of being a women g a women if a certain age is that as our estogen
levels drop , so does our ability to suffer fuck wits like Gregg. His behaviour is inexcusable.

@TwoCreamEggs are you really saying you don't think patting bums is sexual abuse? I'm aghast.

I was wondering why you were bringing football into the mix (Football Association ) and was about to agree with you that (mostly) men get hysterical about it 😬

However, why are you trying to minimise sexual abuse? It's against the law whether it's in a work environment or a social one. It's a vile, humiliating, belittling, controlling tactic used by abusive men. Just because you like being humiliated doesn't mean the rest of us do.

Op, have you been talking to the Samaritans?
I got touched up by another volunteer listener and when I complained I was told “ you obviously have a problem with men”
this was the director of the branch and a woman.

you obviously have the same thoughts

Oh without a doubt and he may well be but he’s clearly turned a blind eye to outdated, misogynistic behaviour from his co host which makes him a fucking idiot

It would make him both a fucking idiot and someone with influence/status who will look the other way whilst to protect themselves from having to deal with it.

THIS. THIS THIS THIS

If GW having working class roots is a legitimate excuse, does the victim’s background affect how unacceptable his behaviour was? The #bekind brigade always overlook how the victim of the “unkind” person must have felt. It’s up to them to forgive but they need an apology before they can even consider the possibility.

If you were a Masterchef contestant, can you even walk off set without financial penalty? I would imagine that the contract could fine you for costs of having to reshoot the programme and who would want that? Would a witness be violating an NDA if they went to the press ?

Totally agree, but my point was you can avoid dick heads like him in some places,
but when he’s the boss/ the most important person in a workplace it’s really REALLY hard to do much.

Can we all just collectively stop saying things like “he comes from a time when this was accepted” or blaming it on his working class roots.

There was never a time when this was accepted by the matriarchy. Misogynistic, abusive, sexually harassing and disrespectful behaviour to women has always made women uncomfortable-but the patriarchy that has always led our society has always allowed it. That is one half of society. The half that employs this behaviour.

I come from a time when it was “accepted”. And I never personally accepted it. My first experience of sexual harassment was at the age of 16. In the workplace. My line manager (who at the time was 45) would find any excuse to pat my bum, tell me what he would like to do to me if we were alone, tell me that he thinks about me while he’s in bed, make constant comments on my appearance etc etc. I never enjoyed it, I never wanted it, I never felt comfortable-sometimes I thought about quitting, especially after eventually reporting it and being asked “has he actually forced himself on you physically?” And then being dismissed when the answer was no.

The senior management was all male. Even all the line managers were male. There was not a single female in authority-so we were taught to put up and shut up.

But it was not accepted by the matriarchy. We just didn’t have any other choice but to quietly carry on

Ugh. Woman interviewed on the BBC news last night said she worked on one of the shows and was asked to adjust GW's bow tie. She looked down and saw his trousers were down and she could see his pubic hair and the top of his penis. Would you find that behaviour acceptable, OP?

What woman wants to be trying to succeed in a competition that could lead to new career opportunities and having to ignore two privileged powerful middle aged men doing wanking moves at you? How fucking tedious. Where is the basic respect?

Thank you, @RedToothBrush - clearly my morning coffee needs to be much stronger - I am a numpty.

I'm sorry you had to endure that. I wonder how your employer would've felt if someone was letching over his DD? I had a similar atmosphere in the early 90s in an engineering company. Page 3 being widely accepted made it harder for me to be taken seriously, I felt.

I think there is a big leap between not starting an email with ‘I hope you are well’ and describing sex acts to someone to embarrass them!

Precisely. And I’m sorry you went through similar.

The “it was accepted” rhetoric is just factually incorrect.
Reports were dismissed and quashed at the time. The reason so many women come forward now, is that in the advent of “me too” we finally have a voice. Not a loud enough one, but we have one at least. Which we did not have pre 2010-15ish.
And those of us who came from that time are mostly raising a generation of young men who support eradicating this kind of behaviour towards women. We still have a LONG way to go though.

Gregg is not representative of all men , or even all misogynistic, sexist men, but at the moment (dont worry Gregg, another bloke will take your headlines at some point soon because it happens a lot 🙄) he is the target of peoples anger because its like groundhog day, watching men in influential positions (not just tv) get away with unacceptable behaviours time and time and time again , over years, despite multiple complaints or warnings.
All the talk of empowering women and equality is ...well, just talk, when you we see this kind of thing being played out all the time. Misogynistic behaviour is known about, it's reported, it's documented, its investigated and basically it's enabled by senior figures in organisations, presumably not to upset or lose their "talent" and keep the status quo.

And then the "it was only 13 miserable middle aged whingers who complained" made it 100 times worse.

Exactly that. He’s thinking of the salary and two fingers up to anyone else who should have laughed it off as harmless banter. Cancel the whole pile of shite. Karma’s a bitch

Grim but unsurprising and with all that food about 😮

Why does food make you get your cock out?