Pissed off DH dismisses my name ideas

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Currently pregnant with DC1. My favourite boys name since I was a child was “Sebastian” which he knew before I was even pregnant. He said he hated it - couldn’t give a reason, to the point where it felt like he’d once said that so felt like he had to double down.

I’m now pregnant with a girl and I’ve spent a lot of time researching and coming up with name ideas. It just so happens every name I like DH apparently “hates”. So far I’ve suggested seven names I love:

• Margot - ugly, hates it
• Ophelia - horrible, hates it
• Clementine - awful, hates it
• Octavia - cars name, ridiculous
• Etta - doesn’t even sound like a real name, awful
• Penelope - sounds old fashioned, hates it

A few days ago I came across (and fell in love with) the name Ottilie. It’s unusual but classic, feminine and pretty. I thought it would be uncontroversial! I told him I’d found another name I love and before I even told him what it was he was rolling his eyes like “oh god, here we go”. Before I told him I said “you don’t have to respond straight away when I tell you, just take some time to think about it” - thinking that his automatic reaction seems to be to dismiss the names I suggest but if he thinks about it he might actually like it!

Of course as soon as I said it he said it he said “that is awful, I’m not calling my child otter”. I said “it’s Ottilie, the NN could be Tilly” then he starts telling a story about a pregnant 17 year old called Tilly (he has a public facing job).

He says I’m over-reacting to be annoyed just because he doesn’t like a name but I feel utterly depressed. He brings nothing to the table but it feels like before I even suggest something he’s made his mind up not to like it which feels so disrespectful. I also want to have a name I love, not just settle for something and it feels like I’ve exhausted all those names having gone through thousands to pick out the ones I love.

I feel like most men would be so much more laid back about girl’s names and let their wife take the lead, unless it’s something they truly hate - but how can he truly hate every name I come up with!

What about Elodie?

Like me, you must live in a narrow social sphere lmao!

It's more bizarre to dismiss names on the basis that you've never met anyone with that name.

It's more bizarre to determine that I must live in a narrow social sphere because I have never met anyone with those names.

I'm perfectly at liberty to dismiss them as horrible!

Haha, I did once know of a child called Ryangiggs (all one word) so maybe @RogueFemale feels very silly now about her narrow social circle at not knowing a Ryangiggs. I’ve also met a Kale and a Renesmee

Wife of Theseus, one of the Greek kings and heros; took a shine to her stepson Hippolytus. As you might expect, that ended badly and she killed herself.

Phaedra's parents were Minos, the king of Crete and Pasiphaë .Minos ordered Daedalus to build the labyrinth to hide the Minotaur.
The Minotaur was the monstrous half man/ half bull offspring Pasiphaë gave birth to after having sex with a bull. Theseus killed the Minotaur.

I think she’s dismissed it because they’re awful names.

I do feel sorry for kids with “unique” names not least because they’ll spend their entire lives repeating, spelling out and correcting pronunciations and spellings of names all because their parents were a bit vain a few months before they were born

I presume a lame pun on syphilis.

I’ve never met a Hippolytus. Must have a narrow social circle 🤣

thats not what a pun is. But no it sounds like a disease.

Have you ever met a Ryangiggs then?

Murder and mayhem in Greek mythology, I just love it!

I haven't met a Hippolytus. I've met 2 Phaedras.

Peaches Geldof called her son Phaedra but it's a female name. [He isn't one of the 2 I've met]

If I was the Op, I'd develop a list that included her absolute favorites and a few names that he might like so they can gently argue about it for the next 7 weeks. Then he will watch you give birth and the last thing you scream as you push that baby out is, " She's called Margot (or whatever your favorite name is), you mother**cker!" and he will be so busy crying and proud of you and not fainting he will say, "Yes, she is!"

Job Done. Namaste.

OP if you’re looking for naice feminine names that are DH-proof may I suggest:
Charlotte
Louisa
Thea
Sophia
Evelyn
Layla

As a teacher I have come across all of these. The most common being Pandora. And since when does a majority vote carry an automatic endorsement ? Does what the majority 'rate" determine all your decisions?

In your original comments, you said the three names I suggested were, firstly, "awful and pretentious!!" and then, when I replied, "I guess more people would agree with me than not. Partly because in my 61 years I have never met anyone called Venetia, Sibylla or Pandora, which suggests that people don't rate them as names!"

So, you dismissed them on the basis of a personal opinion, and because you'd never met anyone with those names in 61 years.

Of course you're "perfectly at liberty to dismiss them as horrible!" (lol)

The fact remains that it's merely your opinion, and you aren't the supreme arbiter of taste AFAIK.

Names are so hard, I could have written your post 16 years ago.

Whilst my DH was also not up for putting much effort in to think of a name but more than happy to shut down all my suggestions, I did manage to get him to tell me what he disliked in general about my selections. It turned out my DH didn’t want any names that ended with an “y” sound, such as Holly or Daisy or Esme etc.

So that narrowed it down. I also second a PP’s suggestion of looking at movie credits together. That’s how we landed on our chosen name. It went past in the credits and we both suggested it at the same time. Perfect.

Ironically, my DD’s name ends with an “a” and my DH is the only one who shortens it to have a “y” sound 🙄

Thank you for the voice of reason.

See if this changes his mind:

I know someone whose daughters are called Imre and Arika!

Give him a date where he has to come up with a list of names. That’s what I did for DH with ours. Make him commit to delivering the list by a due date. Funnily, all of our kids have names from DH lists, as honestly they were better than mine. One I didn’t like, but I liked another version of it so we settled on that, otherwise everything ended up coming from his lists.

Think you’ve always got be be careful about names that have bad associations when connected to surnames too
A friend with surname West were thinking about Fred for their son……. luckily someone suggested maybe not

This is going to sound quite morbid but as well as movie credits, graveyards can give good ideas for names. Try and find modern headstones though, all the older ones the names are either Mary or Elizabeth for women or William and John for men!

I believe Imre is Hungarian and Arika although also British is more common in Scandanavia

Charles Dickens used names from Gravestones for some of his characters.
like the Dorrett family buried in Rochester