To expect my SIL to keep her aggressive cat away during Xmas?

[juiceboxjuggle]

My sister-in-law (SIL), has a cat that’s… let’s just say, difficult. The cat is quite aggressive—she’s bitten me before while I was just sitting on the sofa, scratched my husband simply for sitting too close to her toy, and even leapt at people with claws out from the back of a sofa or armchair. She also has this habit of scratching legs under the table while people are eating. It’s not exactly a relaxing presence.

This Christmas, we’re staying at my parents-in-law’s (PILs) house for two nights, which is non-negotiable with my husband. SIL will also be staying, and, as always, she’ll be bringing her cat. The cat is her world, and last year, when I gently suggested she keep the cat in a separate room during meals, she was really upset. She insists the cat needs to be “free to roam.”

As a result, last Christmas was stressful. Despite my best efforts to keep an eye on my two toddlers, one of them ended up with a big scratch from the cat while swinging their legs under the table—just normal kid behavior. To make matters worse, my husband has also been scratched in the past, simply because the cat was annoyed he wasn’t feeding her.

I’m dreading a repeat of last year and honestly don’t know how to handle this situation. How do I keep my kids safe without upsetting SIL again? I’d love to be able to enjoy a meal without constantly chasing the cat away or worrying about potential injuries. Any advice on how to navigate this?

Animal Abuse isn't Big or Clever

its not the cats fault it's being put in a stressful situation & that humans can't set their boundaries.

This.

It is then on other to suggest compromises to keep your children safe.

Seriously, what if one of them gets a scratch on the faceborveye?

Actually it is. It's perfectly ok to boot a cat that's attacking you to stop it causing further injury. The safety of people, especially children, comes before that of cats in the pecking-order.

She needs to be told to grow up.

And, pretty soon, the lack of a relationship with her brother and his family.

Tell Sil to grow up and stop being ridiculous. You could also give some strong advice about animal (cat) welfare. Cats hate being moved around different environments and hers is obviuously stressed, which is bd for its health - she is being selfish with her cat as well as her family.
Time for some real life common sense in this family.

You don't have to 'teach' your small child the cat is the priority, just put them in trouts (hardly unusual) & tell them the cat is grumpy & to stay away from it. Nothing to do with it being a priority FGS 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Before you sit down to eat put orange and lemon peel under your seats. Have a water pistol loaded and ready in your belt, and sprinkle pepper on your socks.

They wouldn’t be seeing me for Christmas that’s all I can say

That is everything to do with the cat being a priority.

The cat? Sorry I say this in jest. I know it's SIL 🤭

What are those clacker things that people spin around during football matches, the very loud obnoxious things?

I think your toddlers might be getting one each from Santa this year 😁😁

That poor cat. I would be saying to SIL that if she truly loves her cat as much as she claims to then she wouldn’t be putting the cat in a high stress environment. My sisters cat was like this because she was highly stressed. The cat also a female like SILs was eventually rehomed with my parents as she was lashing out at the children and whining during the night, keeping everyone up because she was lonely as she was largely ignored during the day. She became a different animal almost overnight as she was in a far more relaxed environment where doors were left open so she could have company if she chose but could also find quiet places to go if she wished.

I would try buying the cat a hooded bed for Christmas so she can hide if she wants to and maybe a catnip or silver vine toy the cat can take her frustration out on as clearly nobody in the family can listen to reason. I would also be telling the family that if you or the children get hurt this year then you will not be spending another Christmas with them while the cat is in the house.

So you wouldn’t warn you children about the aggressive cat. My comment assumed the family went and the cat was there

SIL sounds like she needs therapy. Cats hate leaving their own homes, so hers will no doubt be thoroughly miserable and scared.

I wouldn’t want my children scratched and I don’t think I could stomach all the enabling, even at Christmas. Can you duck out of the visit?

I would be mortified if my cat scratched someone. I cannot understand why she is not horrified.

Sounds like it needs putting down if it's that aggressive

Husband problem…. Tell him to have a lovely Xmas with his family and Bloodfang the cat. You and the kids are staying home where it’s safe.

It’s actually far from ideal for the cat as well, your sil should know that. Cats are very territorial. It takes them a long time to mark out and guests their home, pick their safe places etc so just bringing it along to a completely different wbieonment will stress the living daylights out of it. They’re not dogs. It it’s been difficult in its home environment it’ll be even worse when it’s just plopped randomly into an u familiar place with strangers. She actually is being incredibly inconsiderate towards her cat.

If your kids get scratched they could contract Cat Scratch Fever

Good enough excuse to give her?

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/23537-cat-scratch-fever

I have never known anyone to visit another house and take their cat with them. I would refuse to go as cat bites or scratches are worse than a dog bite for infection. It doesn't take much to get a very bad infection as they carry so many germs underneath their claws and on their teeth. I wouldn't be able to relax with a cat like that around me and my family. For a cat to behave like this there is obviously something very wrong with it. If your SIL is prepared to overlook her cats behaviour and tolerate it then that's up to her but she can't expect everyone else to put up with it.

Honestly. Don't go.

Say unless the cat is kept away from the children, then you won't go. And stay at home

I wouldn't be buying the cat a Christmas present. If the SIL thinks the cat needs a hooded bed, that's for her to decide. Buying the aggressive cat a present just feeds into the idea that the cat is the priority over the children in my view.

And just to add to my pp, if she knows that little about cats that she thinks it’s ok to just randomly put it in a new environment and expect it to behave normally, no wonder the cat behaves the way it does. She needs to educate herself on how to take care of a cat!

As a child I was attacked by cats twice although tbf the second time I may have accidentally provoked it. I was standing on my friends doorstep and it was walking through between my legs. I hadn’t noticed it so I moved and my legs may have brushed the cat or it just may have felt trapped. It started hissing and scratching and it was pretty terrifying but I kind of understand why it happened.

But the first time was literally 10 year old me walking away from my friends driveway as he wasn’t in when I called round for him, and the cat pursued me and scratched my leg. Thankfully it wasn’t a deep cut.

I froze in both instances and probably would again as I don’t fancy my chances against a cats claws, but I agree it’s perfectly acceptable if someone else (braver than me!) goes into fight mode to defend themselves.