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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To judge mum who smells of alcohol at 10am

130 replies

Aliceisagooddog · 01/12/2024 11:56

Is this a safeguarding concern? I get bad vibes from this woman anyway, but to reek of alcohol in the morning, surely its awful for a child?

OP posts:
CastleCrasher · 01/12/2024 12:01

Regularly, or as a one off? Once, ignore. Regularly, please raise it at least with the school. As the now adult child of a drinker, I wish someone had cared enough to ever say anything for us. It wouldn't have stopped the drinking, but the dc could at least have got support in school.

SabreIsMyFave · 01/12/2024 12:02

As pp said, if it's just once (or say, just once a month) I would let it go. But if it's pretty much every day, raise it with the school, or inform social services. Make sure they keep your name out of it.

JurassicPark4Eva · 01/12/2024 12:04

One off on a Saturday after a rare night out? None of your business as long as she isn't driving.

Every week at school / work / playground / event? Yes, time to raise some concerns.

hazelnutvanillalatte · 01/12/2024 12:05

How does judging her help anyone? If you think she is an alcoholic you should raise it with the school as it is a safeguarding issue.

EvilsElsasPetSnowman · 01/12/2024 12:05

We need more context OP.

Is this a regular thing or a one off? Where are you seeing her? Is she drunk at 10am or just smells of alcohol?

HPandthelastwish · 01/12/2024 12:05

If it's just once and probably the remnants of last night / one off Christmas party then it's fine. If it's every week or she's actively drunk then not ok.

Was mum actually with her child? Or did you just see her out?

However, keep in mind would you have the same opinion of a dad who'd been throwing beers back, for some reason we hold men less responsible than women in drinking

EvilsElsasPetSnowman · 01/12/2024 12:05

CastleCrasher · 01/12/2024 12:01

Regularly, or as a one off? Once, ignore. Regularly, please raise it at least with the school. As the now adult child of a drinker, I wish someone had cared enough to ever say anything for us. It wouldn't have stopped the drinking, but the dc could at least have got support in school.

This

Tagyoureit · 01/12/2024 12:06

It does depend on how many times this has happened. That is vital info here.

If it was just this morning, she may have had a friends hen do last night. I know I've probably not smelt great after a night out before so you're just pearl clutching.

If this is every day she smells of alcohol then it's a completely different story.

What is it?

OttersAreMySpiritAnimal · 01/12/2024 12:08

She may work in a pub?

ShootyBumPain · 01/12/2024 12:09

CastleCrasher · 01/12/2024 12:01

Regularly, or as a one off? Once, ignore. Regularly, please raise it at least with the school. As the now adult child of a drinker, I wish someone had cared enough to ever say anything for us. It wouldn't have stopped the drinking, but the dc could at least have got support in school.

Bob on.

x2boys · 01/12/2024 12:09

Stale or fresh alcohol ?
I know this is mumsnet and posters will horrified that others may have a few drinks every night ,but back in the real world many people do ,and manage to.function just fine
Obviously if they are smelling of fresh alcohol and appear drunk st 10 am that's an entirely different matter.

InTheRainOnATrain · 01/12/2024 12:11

Context is everything. If it was this morning at football and she was blabbering about how she had an xmas do yesterday and overdid it then bit gross as stale booze is 🤢 but no big deal. If it was every day last week on the school run and it’s more of a fresh alcohol than a last night aroma then yes definitely say something.

Goldbar · 01/12/2024 12:41

Is she obviously drunk/is it a regular thing? Once or twice, I've spilled alcohol over my coat when taking out the recycling and haven't had time to clean it properly.

Original poster
Aliceisagooddog · 01/12/2024 12:42

Morning with child. I think fresh, very strong smelling. I normally only see her outside and this was inside so maybe easier to smell. Tbh, I have known a few alcoholics and she has that bloated look. I feel sorry for her child.

OP posts:
Strawber · 01/12/2024 12:45

It could be she was out last night perhaps??

EvilsElsasPetSnowman · 01/12/2024 13:38

Aliceisagooddog · 01/12/2024 12:42

Morning with child. I think fresh, very strong smelling. I normally only see her outside and this was inside so maybe easier to smell. Tbh, I have known a few alcoholics and she has that bloated look. I feel sorry for her child.

So a one off?

You feel sorry for her child because she had a night out and is not thin?

TBH the other mum isn’t the one I’m judging here.

EvilsElsasPetSnowman · 01/12/2024 13:38

My dad was an (actual) alcoholic and was like a stick insect

ilovesooty · 01/12/2024 13:40

So is this once or a regular occurrence? You haven't said.

Mickey79 · 01/12/2024 13:44

It’s Sunday, very possible she was just out last night and it was a late one. Hopefully she didn’t drive. Besides that I wouldn’t think anything else about it.

AmethystMist · 01/12/2024 13:45

I don't think op is saying the mum is fat... Alcohol abuse can cause some quite distinctive bloating to the face and hands etc. which in combination with smelling strongly of alcohol could be a sign something is up

EmotionalSupportPotato · 01/12/2024 13:48

Does it make a difference if its 10am or 5pm?

TinDogTavern · 01/12/2024 13:51

"Bad vibes"?

You just don't like her do you? Unless she's driving or visibly roaring drunk this really is none of your business. Meanwhile, judge away as you clearly already have.

MaloryJones · 01/12/2024 13:54

InTheRainOnATrain · 01/12/2024 12:11

Context is everything. If it was this morning at football and she was blabbering about how she had an xmas do yesterday and overdid it then bit gross as stale booze is 🤢 but no big deal. If it was every day last week on the school run and it’s more of a fresh alcohol than a last night aroma then yes definitely say something.

This ^

EvilsElsasPetSnowman · 01/12/2024 13:59

AmethystMist · 01/12/2024 13:45

I don't think op is saying the mum is fat... Alcohol abuse can cause some quite distinctive bloating to the face and hands etc. which in combination with smelling strongly of alcohol could be a sign something is up

Of course she’s saying she’s fat. She’s fat and drinks alcohol and is a woman, it’s amazing we are nearly in 2025 and this still offends people

OP why do you feel sorry for her child? Should mothers never venture outdoors?

Whohasnickedthesellotape · 01/12/2024 14:02

Regular occurence or a one off?
Had she been driving with her DC in the car before you spoke to her? If so she needs help.