To judge mum who smells of alcohol at 10am

[Aliceisagooddog]

Is this a safeguarding concern? I get bad vibes from this woman anyway, but to reek of alcohol in the morning, surely its awful for a child?

So what are you doing about it?

What sort of “alcohol” do you think you’re smelling? There are a couple of popular perfumes which I think smell exactly like gin, which is unfortunate.

It’s a safeguarding concern if her parenting is impaired. Otherwise “I think I could smell alcohol” is a fairly baseless report, especially since you’ve no idea if this is an isolated incidence.

Why is the automatic reaction on MN to ‘judge’?

Have you thought about being a decent person and saying hello to her? Maybe try and give her an opening for someone to talk to?

A woman (who has shown no other signs of alcoholism ever) had a night out and went to her son’s football the next morning. What is there to report? Other than it’s pretty good of her to withstand a hangover to watch her child presumably at their hobby?

So what are you going to do about it? Feeling sorry for her child helps no one.

Because what OP wanted was for us all to say “Gosh that’s awful, she drank alcohol, you’re sooooo much better than her OP only good mothers behave like some demented mattyrish Stepford wife”

Loads of mums drink

I would wait and see if it happens again, OP. A one-off could actually just mean one late boozy night and as long as she's not driving whilst over the limit I wouldn't be overly concerned.

I don't think you're unreasonable to judge exactly but most people are alcoholics because they're trying to manage something very difficult, either in the now or in the past, so if you do conclude that she's got an alcohol problem I'd try to temper the judgment with some compassion.

I had a colleague who reeked of alcohol quite often. She was breath tested as part of our employment protocols on several occasions and was always a reading of zero. She was arrested for drink driving and their reading was also zero on both the roadside breath test and the machine at the station. She showed me the slip of paper read out. After medical investigation it transpired to be a medical issue with ketones.

I wouldn't judge but if you have safeguarding concerns I'd mention it to school in case it is part of a bigger picture of issues. But keep an open mind.

Why on earth would this make her breath smell of alcohol?
People who work in hospitality aren't all functional alcoholics and if you were caught drinking before or during a shift in the bar I worked in it was a sackable offence.
Fs.

OP I think you'd be getting different responses if you had worded it 'AIBU to be concerned about ...'
YABU to judge.

The OP didn't think it was a hangover smell, she thought it was a fresh vodka on the cornflakes smell. Very different smells, very different levels of concern.

The fact that you're judging is telling.
Yes it's a concern but don't be judgy.

Maybe she had been making her boozy xmas cake / mince pie mix. Maybe she had just slapped on some glycolic skin product after brushing her teeth (smells like vodka on me). Maybe a jamaican rum coffee in the morning, just cos bloody because it's freezing and wet. So many things. If it happens often then worry about it.

Maybe talk to her so you can get a better idea of what’s going on before you leap to reporting it. Does she smell of alcohol every day ? Could it be something else ? Does she come across as intoxicated ?

Why not ask her out for a coffee one morning and ask how she is and if everything's OK?

Could she be someone who works nights and has had a drink in her ' evening'

Perhaps the OP will return to confirm whether this is a one off or a regular occurrence?

I’d be concerned about the woman and I’d be asking her if she was okay. She could be struggling with mental health issues and self medicating with alcohol. She could be an undiagnosed diabetic. She might be wearing perfume that smells of gin.

If you genuinely believe she has an alcohol problem then report it as a safeguarding concern.

What on earth is with this thread?!? No smelling of alcohol in the morning even as a once off is not ok. Yes could be a spillage etc but should absolutely still be flagged in case. You should not be drunk in the morning and caring for a child ever. Why do we think thats ok? I hate how normalised problematic drinking has become.

Also shes not calling her fat, alcoholics bloat in clear ways. Maybe youre lucky enough to have never been in close proximity but its a telltale sign that suggests sustained abuse.

If she did just accidentally spill a bit of last nights Chardonnay on her clothes it will be quickly resolved. On one hand everyone gasps as the cases of neglect and abuse when they come out in the paper at the same time everyones saying dont judge a patent actively smelling of alcohol in the morning!?

As a child of an alcoholic, report.

I wouldn't 'judge' a person because you have no idea what is going on in someone's life, but I would certainly be concerned about whether they were drinking and driving.

Could it possibly be hand sanitiser. A forner colleague used to reek of alcohol but it was actually because she was constantly washing her hands and spraying herself with sanitiser.

The OP didn't specify breath in the original post. I know lots of people who work in hospitality that smell of alcohol if they don't have fresh clothes on.

Exactly. If it's acceptable to drink with kids in the house in the evening why not in the morning?

Do you think their child is neglected? How does the child present?
Do you know that the mum isn’t being supported with alcohol consumption? Do you actually know anything other than she smells of alcohol?
Are you sure the smell isn’t the result of a medical condition?