To judge mum who smells of alcohol at 10am

[Aliceisagooddog]

Is this a safeguarding concern? I get bad vibes from this woman anyway, but to reek of alcohol in the morning, surely its awful for a child?

Nobody.is saying its OK to be drunk in charge of a child ,but there is a huge difference in somebody who may smell a bit of stale alcohol from having a few drinks the previous evening and somebody who smells of fresh alcohol and is obviously under the influence.

I've been suffering with mouth ulcers and I've got a special mouthwash on prescription it reeks of booze.... and I have to use it twice at least a day.... I've been smelling on drink but I'm tea total.... I wouldn't raise it unless there are other visible signs.... or I would get talking to the mum before I thought she's drinking at 10am.

Is it definitely alcohol or she could be diabetic and have ketones?
You really don’t know enough about this lady to be judging…

I knew an alcoholic mum. She drove her car right through the glass doors of the preschool
And into the lobby. She was that drunk at 9am. Luckily she was late dropping her DC off otherwise she would have killed loads of parents and toddlers waiting in the lobby for the preschool to open. A few weeks after that, she drowned on her own vomit. Luckily her DC has a very nice Dad who does not have a drink problem.

Having experienced this, I would be concerned abput the wellbeing of any other alcoholics and their families.

No, absolutely not fat. She's quite slim but looks bloated around her face. I have lived with alcohol dependants and she has that look. Her child seems disregulated, I've noticed very clingy to the teachers, hugging at home time etc..

No suggestion she’s an alcoholic though. OP hasn’t said she regularly smells alcohol on her breath - only that she smelled it that day because they were indoors, making it prominent.

I wondered this. My DH has had gum surgery. The prescription mouthwash he has to use smells really strongly of alcohol. If this is first thing in the morning, something similar could well be the reason. He’s also diabetic and occasionally has ketones if his blood sugar goes too high. This makes his breath smell like alcohol until his sugars are back under control.

You obviously have concerns. If you have those concerns then do report. If it’s nothing then nothing will happen. If it’s something then authorities will act.
I’m not sure why you needed to come on here to ask though. It does feel you want to judge rather than actually help.

Does 'judging' her make you feel like a better woman, or mother in some way?

I mean I'd get it if you said you were...

Concerned
Worried
Sympathetic

But the fact you've chosen to judge her instead, tells me a lot more about you than it does her.

All we know about her is that she smelled of alcohol at 10am.

SPFTNB.

Name changed for this. She might be boozing, but I'm not sure what you can do. I knew a whole host of mums who would hoover up lines in front of their toddlers. One child swallowed half a valium and they just made sure it was OK. I wasn't involved, after witnessing it, I got out quickly. I could recount it but had no photograph evidence. One of them was a social worker! I covertly told the relevant authorities and nothing was done as they were terribly middle class. Sad really.

IME it’s not that easily definable. I also have known that most alcoholics try to cover the smell up

As the child of an alcoholic, there’s no indication this woman had any thing other than a night out and OP just wanted to judge in unison. OP didn’t say she was drunk just that she smelled of alcohol

I spoke directly to a school mum who smelt of vodka every morning. Apart from that she was obviously trying to be a good mum.
,
I told her that everyone could smell it but no one would tell her. I, however, was a recovering alcoholic, I'd tell her we could all smell it. But I could also tell her there was a solution. We went back to mine and talked. She was hopeful. Agreed we'd go to a meeting together.

The next day her husband tackled mine. Said I wasn't to interfere. Aggressively and directedto his wife too. She steered clear of me afterwards. My husband told me the bastard wasn't prepared to lose his drinking buddy

About a year later she started gradually going yellow. Soon it was obvious. Her liver was failing. She died leaving three DC at primary school. Heartbreaking.

TLDR - tell her.

I have a perfume that smells like boozy Christmas cake, note to self - never wear it on the school run!

You’re really clutching at straws OP. A lot of people have bloated faces for various reasons. I think you just don’t like her or her child TBH. But I assume seeing as you have concerns you’re going to report her?

This!
Also alcohol breath still smells of alcohol outdoors.

I hate these extreme examples people give - I know of a man who went on a shooting spree because he had a nervous breakdown, doesn’t mean every parent I see who looks unhappy should be reported “just in case”

I had a colleague who once stank of fresh booze and it was just her mouthwash I think she had similar dentistry issues IIRC.

Where on earth were you when you were in the company of mums and toddlers and the mums started doing cocaine and the toddlers took Valium?!

Also you have no idea if nothing is done when you report as you’re not entitled to know what action was taken.

Exactly this. Please don’t judge, but if it is regular take action.

Sender Policy Framework ?

Friends of friends. Thought it was a dinner party. I was shocked! And the Valium was an anecdote. "Little X accidentally took Valium from a sesh last week". I still sometimes see them out and about with their kids years on (not intentionally) so presumably nothing happened. It ended there for me, anyway. I couldn't believe it. But - honestly - you wouldn't have guessed. I sat so awkward with a single glass of wine all night. Hated it.

Still pissed from the night before. I.e. not a breakfast drinker.

I’d love to smell of boozy Christmas cake at Christmas !! Would you mind sharing ?

Thank you for being a great human being. It usually does come with a price but you know you tried to help. Be proud of yourself for caring and trying to make a difference.