To not buy Christmas presents for DC

[mostlylovinglife]

Paid for school trips costing over £3000 for my DC next year, both aged 14 & 16. They asked for these instead of Christmas/birthday presents. I will get them their usual PJs and a selection box instead of a stocking which usually costs me £50 plus each, but can't help feeling really mean and worried they'll be devastated Christmas morning when they don't have a pile of presents to open.

I want to get them a charm each for their bracelets as something to open, but AIBU not to buy more?

We did similar last year, the presents they did open were largely items required for the school trip.

Yanbu!

£3000 for school trips is a huge amount and very privileged so they'll understand.

Maybe just buy them a token gift of something to play with like a tamagotchi? £13 so cheaper than a charm!

You are not being mean. They are easily old enough to make choices and understand the consequences, and their choice was to go on an amazing school trip and not have lots of presents. I'd have thought they were getting a bit old for 'a pile of presents under the tree' anyway - surely teen presents are often small (even if expensive!).
Why don't you print out an amazing picture of the place they'll be going on the school trip and put that in a card for them to open, just to be a reminder of what they are getting as a present.

Not at all, they know that they’re going on expensive school trips. Same in this house and same ages , both going on expensive school trips .
I’ve got PJs and some bits they needed anyway( socks etc ) but will also put some things they love but we’ve cut back on this year like a box of Diet Coke or similar so will look a bit more than just PJs ! But otherwise both know will be no big presents.
Yanbu

Still do a stocking but for less money. Depends what they are into but I usually spend about £25 for my daughter. It's mostly things like bubble bath, jewellery making sets, cute socks, novelties (this year is a Hello Kitty rubix cube), stationary etc.
I usually go to Primark and get it all there !

I think you’re being completely reasonable.
They’ve both asked for the trip for Christmas and they’re both lucky to have got it.
Just a few bits and pieces to open on Christmas morning in their stocking sounds good to me.
DD asked for concert tickets rather than presents this year - she’s got those and the bits I’d already bought her. She’s 12.

If you can't afford to do both and the kids were informed then no it's fine. As someone else said I'd buy and wrap things they'll need for the trips. I couldn't not do a few things to open.

It’s completely reasonable not to buy anything else. But I’d remind them if I were you. Just in case they’ve forgotten that they’d asked for this and so they understand that there will be no big pile of presents. It just manages expectations and avoids any upset on Christmas morning.

That's fine, I would just do a stocking each filled with little festive items like lip balms/socks/chocolate and the trips can be the big present

Surely you can get more than pjs & a selection box for £50 plus?

As long as you make it clear well in advance it should be fine. I'd also get some a few things for them to open, but not expensive things. Presents for the trip is a good idea, as you'll have to buy those anyway.

Do they need anything for the trip? Ski goggles, a book etc? If so buy these and wrap them up

What about a family board game to play . Maybe try to introduce a new tradition away from presents to still have the excitement. Or a few stocking fillers around where they are going/doing

Sorry I meant the stockings costs £50 plus.
The selection boxes are a replacement, and the PJs are given Christmas Eve.

I have been reminding them but I think they think I'm joking!

Not at all.
DS had a car for his 17th, it was £14,000.
He is now 19 and has token presents and his insurance paid for birthdays and Christmas since even though his sibling still has big presents.

I think you need some perspective here, OP. Do you realise how many families couldn’t even fathom spending £3k on a school trip? For most it’s an unearthly amount of money that their DC will never even so much as see a whiff of, and I think your DC’s, especially at the age they are, should start becoming aware of their privilege.

We always do board games Christmas evening. This is more their expectations about presents.

Wtf 🙄

Absolutely this! Just can't help feeling guilty especially as their friends will probably have piles, plus going on these trips.

What do you mean WTF?
It’s a relevant comment.

OP I’d probably buy some cheap stocking bits from Primark/Home Bargains etc. a couple of books. Make them aware the spend will be minimal.

Exactly what I said, who spends £14k on a car for a 17 year old and then tells people about it?! Mental.

We've got most of it from previous trips, I'm going to source whatever else is needed in the new year from sales/vinted. I just don't want to be consuming for the sake of consuming. Previous years I've panic bought a load of tat for the sake of buying which ends up collecting dust.