To not buy Christmas presents for DC

[mostlylovinglife]

Paid for school trips costing over £3000 for my DC next year, both aged 14 & 16. They asked for these instead of Christmas/birthday presents. I will get them their usual PJs and a selection box instead of a stocking which usually costs me £50 plus each, but can't help feeling really mean and worried they'll be devastated Christmas morning when they don't have a pile of presents to open.

I want to get them a charm each for their bracelets as something to open, but AIBU not to buy more?

@another1bitestheduck just love being lectured at by strangers on the Internet.

@mostlylovinglife might be an option to give something sentimental?

Yes it is tedious, so why keep on at me?

I didn't say anything about the poster posting the cost of the car. Nor do I have an issue with it.

so if you could just leave me alone & stop implying I've said things I didn't, I'd appreciate it

Hmm … you’re the one who inserted yourself into a discussion I was having with another poster. It had nothing to do with what you’re saying and it was regarding her posting the cost of the car. You also keep replying to me, so … maybe stop if you no longer wish to engage.

I do understand what you’re trying to do for them, OP.

Personally, I couldn’t imagine NOT giving my DC gifts on Christmas Day. I’d be willing to factor in buying much less of course, but if I could T stretch to £100 or so on a few token gifts for the day, I wouldn’t even consider £3000 on a school trip.

In your shoes now, I’d probably try and get them a few inexpensive things that they may use anyway, such as socks / toiletries / books/ chocolates so they have at least a few bits to open.

My son has asked for something quite expensive for Christmas and has a birthday in Jan, so I said fine, but it will cover both and I know he will be fine with that

Same. My DS had a PS5 and it was for his birthday and Xmas together. We don't have much money but then DH had a bonus from work and got him a new mountain bike so I'm worried he's becoming spoilt! We have told him he won't be getting anything else big for Xmas.

Yanbu, £3000 is loads and they are old enough to understand that the trips are their present.

I think it's important to stick to what you said, not least because your primary responsibility to your DC is not to make them temporarily happy with stuff, but to bring them up as decent human beings who understand the value of money and aren't spoilt brats. As it sounds like you are doing! The stocking with consumables and/or stuff you'd have to buy for the trip sounds like a good idea. It's always fun buying little things like a face mask, sweets, socks to go in there - it might even set a precedent for future stockings and save money. I agree with a PP that if they do find this devastating (though disappointing is probably the worst that will happen), it might be a good lesson.

@SunshineAfterTheRainR

what if they want the school trip way more than gifts to open on Christmas Day?

@okydokethen

why on earth would you stick stuff on credit card?

@another1bitestheduck wasn't wrong and in fairness you kicked off the lecturing with your own tone deaf post.

if you don't want people to point out you said something stupid, maybe don't say something stupid?