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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up with comments on DDs activity level

154 replies

Jensai · 30/11/2024 10:44

So my DD is 8, she's in Y4. As far as kids go she has a never ending supply of energy. Right now we channel that into sports mostly. She does Tennis competitively and for fun does snowboarding once a week at the indoor ski centre (1hr15 min away so an absolute PITA, but she loves it) 2 hours recreational gymnastics on the weekend which she mainly does as she likes being with her friends and she's just been accepted onto the local harriers junior team.
Now I know it's a lot, tennis is about 5/6 hours a week, harriers is 2, snowboarding 1 and gymnastics is 2.
She is also aware that competing in tennis and harriers will be hard.
She just snowboards for fun, doesn't want to compete and I'm really keen to keep a love of sport just because and not to win anything so let it happen.

Now I'm constantly getting comments about when does she just be, when does she just play.
DD doesn't just play ever. Today she has tennis in the afternoon but nothing else. So far she's been out on the trampoline since 7.30 (we have no immediate neighbours for about 50m). DH is going to have to take her out to do something as we won't get to 2pm for tennis without her losing her mind.
She gets 1 hour of TV Friday-Sunday and never uses it. She reads before bed and her definition of playing is occasionally playing with her teddy bears but it never lasts long before she is back on the trampoline or her bike.
She is an only child so for us the constant activities feels like a must. I'm fed up of people saying she has to learn to be bored. She just jumps on the trampoline for hours or rides her bike up and down the path while listening to music. She's a good kid and not really one to misbehave but she is definitely easier after an activity.
School always comment on how much energy she has and don't seem concerned but every friends parent, my parents, my sister, the in-laws etc. seem to think she is more or less being abused.

AIBU to think they all need to shut up!!

OP posts:
waterrat · 01/12/2024 21:34

its gender stereotyping - nobody expects boys to have 'quiet , sedentary' activities if they prefer to be on the go

agree with all the comments - its so far from the norm with screen addicted britain people can't comprehend it.

Julimia · 01/12/2024 22:36

Is she happy and happy to be going and doing? Are you happy to be doing it? Yes and yes. Then its no one else's business. No need for furhur justification. Just keep going.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 02/12/2024 09:35

edwinbear · 30/11/2024 15:50

At this age, they’re just working out what they enjoy and what they’re good at. As she gets older, she’ll likely naturally drop some as others take over. My DC are both competing athletes, the county league competitions are on Saturdays, they take all day, so if she chooses to compete at athletics, she might need to drop tennis/snowboarding. Training schedules also ramp up for most sports as they get older/better so there are inevitable clashes and they need to make a decision which sport to specialise in. Absolutely nothing wrong with an 8yr old having a wide base of sports to choose from.

Agreed. My 14 year old has dropped everything but rowing (apart from school sport commitments) now, as in order to train at the level she does she doesn't have time.

When she was 8, she was doing cross country, park run at weekends, horse riding 2 days a week, gymnastics for a couple of hours, swimming pretty much every day from Easter to October, and often sailing one evening a week. Plus scouts/cubs etc.

Now, rowing has stuck. On average during the season, there will be a competition every weekend. She will have on the water training 3 evenings a week, plus additional at weekends. Then the gym. So probably 6 days a week. She will often swim with us a few times a week too.

Even now, in the off season, there is the odd competition (1 a month probably), training at the club 3 nights a week, gym on her off days, and on water training at weekends. So again, average of 6 days a week.

She's busy, but not excessive. People commented more when she was younger and doing a mix of things, but the actual hours spent aren't unreasonable.

Laura95167 · 02/12/2024 12:00

The time she's choosing to trampoline is her boredom time.

I do think its good for kids to have unscheduled time and/or chores because 1. As adults they will have to do stuff they don't want to. 2. It allows them to think for themselves about how to fill their time and not rely on others for structure and entertainment.

Sounds like she has "boredom time" and is filling it with an activity she enjoys, trampolining which is great. I wouldn't worry.

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