To think DH did nothing wrong here?

[Challas]

On my way to do the school run in the dark I nearly slammed into a little black car that was broken down just around a blind on our very rural 60 mile an hour road. I noticed a woman alone sitting in the car. I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she didn't get killed sitting in the car. He went up to her and she politely declined (all fine but he was legitimately afraid for her). He did then drive back around the bend and sat there with his hazards on to slow any cars coming down. Eventually the recovery van came for her and all was well until a few hours later we had the police at the door saying this woman reported DH for having made her feel threatened!? He's now said in the future he just won't even offer help if he's in the same position again. The police were fairly aggressive with wanting to know exactly what he said and did so clearly she was very uncomfortable.

He did. He got back in his car and drove round the corner to park up with his hazards on. He did this to alert other road users to the fact theat there was a hazard ahead. He did nothing wrong. He was just trying to stop other people being involved in an accident due to the idiot woman sitting in the broken down car on a blind bend.

This is peak mumsnet.

I read to page 5, and gave up.

If you flip this thread, there would be pitchforks out. "I've had the worst day, I'm so shaken. I broke down on a country road and was waiting for the AA. It had been a bad morning anyway. All of a sudden a guy pulled up in his car and offered to stay with me until help arrived. He wanted to put cones aroundthe car, he wanted me to wait in his driveway. I was shaken up as it was, but this really added to my anxiety, as I had no idea what his intentions were. I declined his offer of help, and i declined going to his home -that really freaked me out tbh. He asked again if I was sure, as his wife had sent him (yeah right), and i repeated again I was fine waiting on my own.
He reluctantly left, but next thing i know he stops around the corner and parks up with his hazard lights on, and just.....waits. I mean, wtf? It utterly terrified me"

I suggest you read it again as it clearly states that he offered to share a car, it hardly matters which car ,,🤦‍♀️

"also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she "

No idea where that quote is from but cheers I don't need a man to protect me it ain't the early man ages.

He did leave when asked. He then remained a safe distance away, with his hazards on, to protect other motorists from hitting the broken-down car. Do you understand there could have been a serious collision had he not done so?

The dh did the right thing, the woman was a twist, at best.

Here is the thing - it is ok to be nervous about a strange man offering help like this. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't accept, or should assume he is actually bad when he's done nothing wrong.

Sitting in his care to warn traffic is not creating a dangerous situation with a high or even moderate likelihood of being attacked or something. Anyone who stopped and thought about it for a moment could see this.

Sometimes things make us feel uncomfortable but they are just normal situations and we manage our discomfort. Especially when someone is helping us be more safe in an already risky situation, maybe it's good to be thankful rather than reporting them to the police.

I am honestly shocked he thought this was ok. I am not going to place myself in danger

Man or bear? I choose bear every time and that's with a black belt and 5' 9.

She was fucking stupid sitting there in the dark and you're supposed to get out of your car.

It's a sad world where someone trying to do a good deed gets painted as a predator for trying to help!!

She should be bloody grateful that a juggernaut didn't crash into her!

I think the OP and her DH were trying to help and got it flung back in their faces.

But he did upset her and make her uncomfortable. Surely you can see that.

He may also have saved her life, or that of a passing motorist. Surely you can see that?

Your husband should’ve left when she said no thanks any man should know that
Any driver should know that a broken-down car around a blind bend is a hazard.
But she made no attempt to warn other drivers of the danger she had created, and jumped to the wrong conclusion about someone with more road sense who could see the danger she was in and tried to help. She still hadn't worked it out by the time the police turned up. I despair.

I read this as he asked her to stay with him in his car ie for her to go sit with him. Others read it this was too. Ops cleared it up but the fact so many people read it in the same way as me is pretty good evidence it was confusing.

No he made her dear for her safety. The situation is not relevant having a man come into your space and offer to take her into his car? Not a fucking chance.

Man or bear most women choose bear. I know of no man who would be stupid to offer this

That's on her. She was in a far more dangerous situation than any created by the OP's DH. She could have been killed!

I remember years ago my tyre blew out on the outside lane of the motorway. I managed to make my way to the hard shoulder luckily, and a car immediately pulled in right in front of me, and these two guys flew in like ninjas to change the tyre!! I was a bit nonplussed and worried about who these strange men might be, but mostly I was touched by their kindness and thankful for their help!

It is any wonder that this old-fashioned courtesy has fallen by the wayside>

I mean for this woman, how likely was it that she had managed to break down in a dangerous location in poor light and the local predator's wife spotted her plight and sent her DH to look out for her.... like, seriously??!

She brought it on herself through her utter fucking stupidity!

Well this fool did before she got herself or someone else killed!

She was probably in shock op.

Your OH did nothing wrong and nothing will happen to him. The police were just checking in case.

Oh lovely victim blaming!

Men know they are seen as predators
Why didn't the op go back and offer assistance?

Do you know the stats on women being attacked? Yes it was a dangerous situation. That didn't give the man a reason to scare her.

@adriftinadenofvipers three responses really? Aggressive much?

Oh bollocks!! She wasn't a victim - she was causing a hazard! Victim blaming my hole! If some soul had actually hit her, it may have been a way different story. Any half wit knows that you are supposed to get out of their cars in a situation like this.

The OP was on the school run!!!

Yeah sure some opportunist who lived nearby was absolutely going to attack her! This is the 2nd thread I've been on tonight on MN that assumes that all men are predators! WTAF is wrong with people??? Stuff the stats on women being attacked tbh!!

Do you know, I think any man nowadays who attempts to help a woman is nuts. That is a sad indictment on society.

Fair play to you @Challas and your DH for your concern and for trying to help this ungrateful witch. You will know what to do the next time. Pay no heed to the naysayers. The world has gone fucking batshit!

Because she was on her way to school and didn't have cones in her car, you read the post right?

Man or bear most women choose bear. I know of no man who would be stupid to offer this

Are you the same poster as on the other thread, going on about men vs bears?

You really need to drop it, it's not the insightful statement you seem to think it is, it's just nonsense.

No, if given the choice of being locked in a tiny space with an unknown man or a grizzly, most women would not choose the grizzly 🙄

Now hang right on there - how does "three responses" make me "aggressive"?

Is there a quota? and btw that's 4, and carry on counting rofl!

Oh and how many posts is that from you? Pot, kettle??! Jesus, this place!

Your husband sounds like a lovely man but the lady was in a vulnerable position, she didn't know if your DH was the next Jack the Ripper so I can see both sides.

She probably contacted The Police to ask for help which led them to your door.

What do you mean, no? OP narrowly avoided hitting her, someone else might not have been so fortunate. A woman’s discomfort does not outweigh the lives of innocent, maybe even female, motorists. And read it again, he did not offer to take her into his car. OP has already clarified this several times.