To think DH did nothing wrong here?

[Challas]

On my way to do the school run in the dark I nearly slammed into a little black car that was broken down just around a blind on our very rural 60 mile an hour road. I noticed a woman alone sitting in the car. I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she didn't get killed sitting in the car. He went up to her and she politely declined (all fine but he was legitimately afraid for her). He did then drive back around the bend and sat there with his hazards on to slow any cars coming down. Eventually the recovery van came for her and all was well until a few hours later we had the police at the door saying this woman reported DH for having made her feel threatened!? He's now said in the future he just won't even offer help if he's in the same position again. The police were fairly aggressive with wanting to know exactly what he said and did so clearly she was very uncomfortable.

This - that’s what I would do first and have done before. I get the hazards thing - very kind - not the offer to get into his car

I think there was a case in England where someone tried and failed to kill themselves, were given CPR by the ambulance crew who broke ribs (because CPR if done properly ie to save a life is a violent thing) and the guy made a full recovery from his suicide attempt then sued the ambulance crew or the Trust and won.

I'd like to just thank you and your husband for being proactive, sensible and actually caring about other people's well being.

I wish there was more of this behaviour.

@rampy yes, that is something that is thrown about in England too. Oh, if you break ribs whilst trying to save a life you might be sued. If you are using approved techniques you'll be fine. You don't even have to be trained in CPR because the public defibs give instructions.

a) he didn’t offer for her to get in his car

b) she could have called the police herself

Would love to see this story

There probably was more of this behaviour. One by one they’ve all had police visits or solicitors letters and that’s why no one does it any more!

In future if you must get involved, just record any such Interactions if unsure how it'll go. Turn voice recorder on, on your phone and that'll be proof enough.

Op has cleared this up now but the original
op “but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car)” was a bit confusing

Your DH did the right thing. I'm sorry the police put 2 and 2 together and made 5.

Women declined offer of help, man should have accepted this and moved on.
No means no op.
Despite your / his best intentions

OP your dh didn’t do anything wrong BUT the lady in the car must’ve been scared when a random bloke approached her in the dark. However foolish her actions were, I don’t think u should have told dh to invite her to stand on your drive when you weren’t there. I think you should have called the police directly after seeing her in the car. However innocently, you put your dh in a situation where this was bound to happen, unfortunately kind men aren’t expected to pop up in this situation only more sinister ones, after seeing all the bad things in the media, Sarah Everard etc.

He did accept her saying no. He stayed around the corner with his hazards on to alert other people to her presence so no one got into an accident. It is unbelievable that this has been twisted.

It clearly states in his car. Not that it is different really if someone is vulnerable, but it makes a massive difference in terms of people throwing false claims at the OP's post, ie taking information they fancy and then turning it into something it is not.

He did.
He didn't offer her any more assistance, he was assisting other motorists.

Years ago my son wet himself when I was driving along so I pulled off main road at next slip road and stopped in a lay-by. It was dark (5pm in winter) and I opened the back door and started sorting my son out and a car stopped a few metres in front of me and a man got out and ran towards me asking if I needed a hand obviously thinking I’d broken down. I must’ve looked terrified as he approached me asking I did feel really vulnerable suddenly and he immediately backed away saying “I’ve scared you I’m so sorry “ it was odd we both felt bad but it was a weird situation. From a distance he asked again if I was ok and then left. If he had then hung around I would’ve been scared but he realised he’d startled me and left. Your husband should’ve left when she said no thanks any man should know that

In exactly the same way as people were prevented when OP went on to pick her kids up and called her DH to go and offer help - i.e. only by people driving lawfully (assuming OP and her DH’s assessment was more accurate than the woman’s).

The reading comprehension on this site is so awful.

No good deed goes unpunished.

It should be made compulsory to carry the reflective warning triangle and high vis vests like drivers in France. It’s really dangerous to stay in the car in the situation you describe.

Having said all that, how do you think a lone women whose car has broken down in the dark is going to react to being approached by a strange man who tries to persuade her to accompany him to his house (drive)? Come on. I wouldn’t have called the police but I’d be freaked out and suspicious.

You can help people now.
This world is weird x

Were you in a dangerous position on the road? If not, this is not at all comparable.

The voluntary stupidity on this thread is absolutely depressing.

Hyserteical, illogical, irrational - all things that have been levelled against women over the years and here we are with reams of posts seeming to confirm this.

He offered help. She declined. He told her where he lived - the police were able to find him quickly on that basis. He sat with hazard lights in to draw attention to himself and preserve other motorists.

What the fuck is so difficult to comprehend?

Yeah, never mind all the other road users that she was putting at risk sitting there in a broken down dark car. What do they matter as long as nobodybis madebto feel uncomfortable.🙄
He was making sure nobody came round the corner and ploughed into her seeing as she didn't bother trying to warn other road users of the hazard.

There was no offer to get in his car, or him get in her car. It has been explained to death over the last 7 pages. The OP is perfectly clear.

You and your husband sound like lovely, thoughtful people.
But id be freaked out with a man I didn't know (even if in a car sat behind me) on a rural road.

Even if morning, it sounds like the start of the horror film!
What if recovery takes hours and after a while he comes up to talk once he thinks my guard is down, telling me lives nearby and it was his wife who rang him.....