To think DH did nothing wrong here?

[Challas]

On my way to do the school run in the dark I nearly slammed into a little black car that was broken down just around a blind on our very rural 60 mile an hour road. I noticed a woman alone sitting in the car. I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she didn't get killed sitting in the car. He went up to her and she politely declined (all fine but he was legitimately afraid for her). He did then drive back around the bend and sat there with his hazards on to slow any cars coming down. Eventually the recovery van came for her and all was well until a few hours later we had the police at the door saying this woman reported DH for having made her feel threatened!? He's now said in the future he just won't even offer help if he's in the same position again. The police were fairly aggressive with wanting to know exactly what he said and did so clearly she was very uncomfortable.

But if you're doing something that endangers you and others, then the situation's different, surely?

Even if it's just endangering you, there's an argument for intervening.

Let's say the woman sat in the dark on a blind corner on a fast road has a 1/20 chance of being killed. Doesn't that warrant intervening?

Someone running across a motorway might face similar odds. Wouldn't you stop them if you could safely do so?

If he was 'sitting on the bend' then he wasn't near the woman's car and there would have been no reason (in her mind) to report him, surely?

@Marblesbackagain No idea where that quote is from but cheers I don't need a man to protect me it ain't the early man ages.

Then perhaps you need to tell that to all of the women who keep lecturing men to speak up, or step in, whenever they see women being harassed or in trouble.

Why is that my job? I don't tell anyone to do anything so how on earth are you linking it as my job to ?

Your DH did nothing wrong - tell him ‘no good deed goes unpunished’…

I was answering the people who were saying she should get out of her car and stand in the road persuading drivers to slow down. So she wouldn't be in her locked car.

Do as OP's husband and stop helping. Who wants the police round their house because they tried to help? Not worth it.

There is always more to these stories when the "I am the innocent victim" claims are investigated.
I'm guessing the female motorist was attractive, she told DH she had already phoned for help and vehicle recovery were on their way, and she did not want him hanging around her. Instead he tried to persuade her to sit in his car, go to his house, offered to sit in her car with her, etc., all of which would have led her to leave her place of safety, her locked car. I hope the police put him straight.

Why is no one else acknowledging that it was inappropriate and odd for a male stranger to suggest to this women to wait on his driveway in the dark and cold and give his address.

Was he suggesting she walk to his driveway on the 60mph rural road? Or was he in fact suggesting he take her there?

DH got lots of lovely messages on the village WhatsApp thanking him for alerting people to the woman in her car. The incident inspired a conversation with our daughter about it how she should handle if she found herself in a similar situation. I changed DH to 'my Nigel' in my phone so all is not lost!

What on earth is inappropriate about it?

And even if you think its inappropriate, if the woman's options were sit in her dark car around a blind bend (which had already resulted in a near miss), stand on the road (even more dangerous) or walk around the corner to stand on someone's driveway, where she won't be hit by a car, surely the latter option is the best?

But he didn't offer to get into her car, or for her to get into his.

And "her place of safety"? Where she'd already nearly been hit by another car? She was not only herself in danger, but she was endangering others' lives too.

She had the option of leaving her car and getting off the road (waiting on the driveway instead), or waiting in her car but with DH parked next to her with his hazard lights on. She refused both. While she is perfectly entitled to risk her own life if she wants, she does not have a free pass to endanger others.

You clearly missed the part where the OP said she was on the school run??

It was drilled into me as a child not to start a sentence with and, but or because!

I still don't.

She really hadn't when she was still sitting in her car, and she hadn't even put the hazard warning lights on plus she was driving a dark-coloured car in the actual dark??

Can you really not see what's wrong with this?

It's staggering isn't it?

To be fair to the woman in question, perhaps she was flustered, or an inexperienced driver, or just not intelligent enough to realize in the moment the risk she was causing not only to herself but to other drivers.

I can understand making bad/dangerous decisions in the moment but people defending those decisions as being good/correct, after the fact, shows an alarming level of ignorance and/or self-centeredness.

Yeah sure it happens every day. Pervs just sitting there waiting for a woman to break down. If I had been worried, I'd have locked myself in my car - but then I shouldn't have stayed in said car because of the risk of another car hitting me

I can't get my head round this demonising of men as a species!!! It's a tiny minority that are out to do us harm!!

Clearly.

Wayne Cousens was an exception!!

Crap, I can't see any evidence to suggest he wouldn't have done the same for a man!

Fair play to him for ignoring the silly woman and looking out for other drivers who could have lost their lives or been seriously injured crashing into her!

Exactly. When she declined assistance, he gave her space and went back around the corner to put his hazards on to stop other people (potentially his neighbors and friends) from getting into an accident - hence all the messages of gratitude he's had from them today.

I can't see any reason to think he'd have done any different were it biggest, burliest bloke in the broken down car.

I understand her fear, I really do, but her being scared doesn't trump the safety/lives of others - and by going around the corner DH was doing the best thing possible to balance both.

Utter bullshit.

"Creepy"?? He tried to help the idiot who put her own and others' lives at risk!

I don't think your husband did anything wrong. He was trying to protect the woman and other drivers and likely prevented a bad accident. You're both decent people.

When you see the level of overreaction here, I wouldn't for one minute blame "the good men" if they just paid a blind eye.

They get fuck all thanks for helping out, because the little woman is scared, and the big man might attack her. Fuck that for a game of soldiers!

I think that's a load of shit. Of course she knew he was trying to help and she created the situation!!

All of us women know that most men don't mean us any harm. Especially when we find ourselves in an emergency.

The world has gone to hell in a handcart.