To think DH did nothing wrong here?

[Challas]

On my way to do the school run in the dark I nearly slammed into a little black car that was broken down just around a blind on our very rural 60 mile an hour road. I noticed a woman alone sitting in the car. I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she didn't get killed sitting in the car. He went up to her and she politely declined (all fine but he was legitimately afraid for her). He did then drive back around the bend and sat there with his hazards on to slow any cars coming down. Eventually the recovery van came for her and all was well until a few hours later we had the police at the door saying this woman reported DH for having made her feel threatened!? He's now said in the future he just won't even offer help if he's in the same position again. The police were fairly aggressive with wanting to know exactly what he said and did so clearly she was very uncomfortable.

If she had broken down on the side of a motorway, the first advice the police and rescue service would have given the woman when she contacted them would have been to get out of her vehicle and move away from it, to several feet behind any crash barrier. The same safety reasons for getting away from your vehicle apply to a blind bend on a dangerous country road. In many European countries, the woman would have been breaking the law by failing to carry warning triangles and a high vis vest in her car. She created a road hazard and did not take sufficient action to protect herself and others from it.

Of course it is frightening to have a strange man approach you in the dark, but it’s ridiculous of the police to turn up hours after the event to tell a man off for providing his full name and address to a woman and helping to keep her safe by alerting other road users to the hazard so that she didn’t have to risk getting out of her car to do it herself. As for posters reading the OP as him suggesting she get into his car - it actually makes more sense to read it as him offering to stay nearby in his car, while she remained in hers, to help keep her and others safe, which is exactly what he did. She didn’t actually have the right to refuse to let him keep other people safe from the danger that she and her car had created in a way that did not impact on her decision to remain locked in her car and therefore totally overreacted to complain about it, given her abject failure to lift a finger to warn other road users of her car’s presence.

I feel very sorry for your husband.

Why did the police continue to be aggressive when you confirmed that you had called him to try and prevent an accident.

Very strange when the woman was clearly able to say that he had told her who he was and where he lived.

Unfortunately this is the world we live in now.
So many attacks on women are opportunistic.

That's all a bit theoretical in the moment, when some clueless moron has put herself and other road users in danger, isn't it? Fuck her feelings, quite frankly. They don't trump the risk of causing a high speed collision.

Sorry but what your DH did was pretty creepy. She told him she didn’t need help but he sat round the corner like a weird stalker. Yet another man thinking he knows what’s best for the pathetic little woman. I would’ve been really scared of him if I’d been her, like the situation isn’t bad enough already without some weirdo hanging around. Your DH needs to learn to respect women’s wishes and be mindful of boundaries.

I don’t think men truly understand the fear.

I was once in a remote ish place walking a dog. There had just been an incident with another dog being aggressive and I was on edge.

Out of nowhere a man appeared. I jumped out of my skin and for a few seconds was really scared. He started talking to me about how his dog had been attacked once, all normal conversation.

Never in a million years would that bloke have understood his effect on me.

Not particularly relevant, but we do have conversations in my family, amongst the men and women about it, eg what would my son do if he was walking behind a woman on a dark street etc. My blokes know it as I and my daughters have explained, but they don’t FEEL it.

How is it her fault when she’s broken down? No-one should be going that fast round a bend that they can’t stop if there’s an obstruction in the road.

Absolute bullshit. What’s creepy about preventing accidents?

To be honest, I’m more scared of your lack of critical thinking skills and hyperbole, but you do you.

Except she actually was being silly to refuse the help provided, and he and his wife, who know the road and how people drive along it, did know best…

Exactly.

The good men need to really start to understand this.

How is she supposed to know what he's saying and doing is genuine? She's not a mind reader.

Her DH had just been told a driver had put his DW and DC at risk and nearly had a dangerous collision with and was continuing to be a danger to herself and more importantly to others.
So yes, pathetic little woman sums her up quite well. Her wish to be a danger to others isn't o arriving because she's a poor little woman.

This woman sounds incredibly stupid, but kudos to your husband for trying to help her. 👍

How is he supposed to be capable of harming her when he is sitting on the other side of the blind bend, in his car, with his hazard lights on?

Yes.
Also, it needs to be, given the state of this world we didn't choose to live in.

Well apparently the grown adult couldn't manage to think for herself. She sat in a broken down car, in the dark, on a blind bend causing a hazard for every other road user. So yeah, someone needed to take control because she was being an idiot.

Your husband tried to do a good deed. Good for him.

The woman, in an already potentially stressful situation, wasn't sure whether your husband was doing a good deed or was potentially predatory. She was right to call the police

The police came and checked it out. They weren't to know your husband wasn't predatory until they had.

How about no-one was unreasonable and no-one was hurt and it all ended well?

A dangerous obstruction on the road is a police matter. They should have been called to attend and control traffic as required until the vehicle was recovered.

Presumably you are capable of following the guidance on what to do if you break down so that you reduce the danger to yourself and other road users. This woman was not capable of that so someone needed to do the thinking for her.

How did the DH “add to the hazards” of the situation? He did what is a legal requirement in many countries, which is to provide advance warning of the concealed, broken-down vehicle to other vehicles approaching the scene.

The woman in question was a bit pathetic though. She was sitting in the dark causing a hazard like a gormless idiot. So, yes the man in question did know what was best for this woman because he was trying to avoid other road users killing themselves and her due to her completely incompetent behaviour.

By putting another obstacle for people to have to go round, just before a bend. People will think they have gone round the obstacle, not expecting another one just up ahead. Or be on the wrong side of the road, with other cars heading towards them.

If he had put a warning triangle, people look ahead for an obstacle.

If the woman had put out a warning triangle, motorists would have had to go around that too. Negotiating two obstacles which you are aware of is far preferable to colliding with one that you didn’t see until it was too late. I can’t believe I’m actually having to explain this.