To think DH did nothing wrong here?

[Challas]

On my way to do the school run in the dark I nearly slammed into a little black car that was broken down just around a blind on our very rural 60 mile an hour road. I noticed a woman alone sitting in the car. I called DH and asked him to go at least put cones around the car but also to offer to the woman for him to stay with her (in his car) or come stand on our drive so she didn't get killed sitting in the car. He went up to her and she politely declined (all fine but he was legitimately afraid for her). He did then drive back around the bend and sat there with his hazards on to slow any cars coming down. Eventually the recovery van came for her and all was well until a few hours later we had the police at the door saying this woman reported DH for having made her feel threatened!? He's now said in the future he just won't even offer help if he's in the same position again. The police were fairly aggressive with wanting to know exactly what he said and did so clearly she was very uncomfortable.

OP said he offered her to wait in his car, not get in hers. Given the current temps I don't think that's so weird. Although I also understand why some people would be unnerved. I'd probs see it as a bigger risk to sit in the dark in a black car just around a blind corner on a high speed road.

What is it with the wilful mis-readers here?

It's very very clear the OP's husband offered to stay with the woman in his own car... he didn't offer for her to get in his car with him nor did he suggest he got in her car.

He made it clear who he was, where he was from, why he was there, and offered a further option for her to stand on the driveway.

She declined, that's her choice however I don't actually think it is up to her to decline having someone warn other road users of a hazard ahead, it wasn't just about her preferences and her safety, was it?

@Challas She sounds like a total twat and shouldn't be driving. Sorry your H was rewarded for his kindness by having the police called!

Were you there??

You clearly didn't go to charm school did you? Or any school?

There's only one tbf 🙄

So she gets to choose to put the lives of strangers at risk? I'd have respected her wishes to not get in my car but would probs still have done what I could to prevent another person ramming into her on the school run and maybe killing themself and their children.

I imagine the part that freaked her out was him giving his address and suggesting she waits on his driveway in the dark and cold….and what is she meant to walk to this driveway of a man who she doesn’t even know, on a 60mph rural road?

Exactly that isn’t her decision to make.
She was parked very dangerously

I wonder if she reported OPs dh because she was worried he might report her first 🤔

She was clearly a fucking idiot if she thought it was a good idea to sit just around a blind corner on a high speed road, in the dark in a black car.

Offering to help was the right, and a nice, thing to do. When it was declined, waiting around the (blind) corner with hazards on to alert other motorists was, again, a very thoughtful thing to do.

I guess she was genuinely scared but that doesn't mean OP's DH did anything wrong - he absolutely did not, and his actions may have been life-saving.

If you have an aversion to sarcasm, please be aware I'm using it and ignore my post.

I had to stop reading not too far in.

FFS.

Yes. OMG, yes.

OP's DH was so in the wrong here, the unbelievably stupid bastard.

Fancy this pair of dozy twats being worried their neighbours would plough into this poor lone lady with their car full of kids at school pick up time. Should of let her die and take some stranger's family with her.

Of course, he should have minded his own penis owning pervert business and let his neighbours drive their kids into the back of this understandably petrified lady sitting in her dark car on a dark road round a blind bend with her lights off. After all, it his her right to to kill a car full of people cos "men". After all, every single one of them are rapists who will assault you always. They're even dangerous from round the corner in their own car. Being in separate locked metal boxes can't stop them dicks.

Your husband may have prevented a crash. That's the most important thing.

Either you should have stopped and helped or he should have offered help which didn’t involve being in the same car. He could have called the police while with her to ask for help what with being on a blind spot. He just needs to be a bit more thoughtful with the type of help offered. No woman knows he’s safe.

Knowing what to do in a breakdown is part of being a safe driver. She should have tried to get her car off the road or further from the bend, or at least put her hazard lights on.

Yabu. Why didn’t you sit with her. I wouldn’t have appreciated that either. I don’t need a random man coming to my aid.

This thread is insane.

Your DH did a kind thing, but something in his delivery didn’t land and the lady felt unsafe. She done the right thing calling the police, and they done the right thing checking it all out.

You, or your husband could’ve called the police or encouraged the lady to if you felt there was a risk to life.

It was creepy but well intended for your husband to sit round the corner against her wishes. He could’ve been less creepy by explaining his actions to her, or respecting her autonomy as an adult woman and simply reporting the hazard to the police.

This whole situation has become a something from nothing. Nobody did anything fundamentally wrong. Intent impact gap springs to mind.

He offered to wait in his car, with his hazard lights on while she was still in her car. Vehicle recovery had already been called, the OP and her DH were concerned for the safety of both the driver and the other road users during the wait. Just read the thread.

I apologise. I really try not to correct other people's language but "ver batum" is a step too far.
In case you don't know it's one word verbatim. The common meaning is "quoted". Though there are some slightly different meanings. Sorry but it was driving me up the wall that nobody commented on that. @Marblesbackagain
And it's pedalled unless you thought they were selling stolen items or drugs,
Phew. I feel better now. Sorry to all the non language pedants out there (i.e. normal people). Cheers . And yes you can begin a sentence with "And".
Hope that's cleared everything up.

I've worked it out now but it's really not clear at all. That part is super badly written.

But OP I don't think your DH was being unreasonable, I think this woman has transferred the stress and anxiety of this situation onto him, and I'm sorry he's been made to feel bad when he was trying to help.

Your husband is lovely. The woman is not.

He did nothing wrong. I think it shows just how fearful some women are because of the actions of a very small minority of men.

He sounds awesome. Did nothing wrong. As for people who won't help, cowards. What a shit world we're in if we can't find the decency to help someone.

But how would this have helped with the road obstruction? How would her leaving her car to stand on your driveway helped the road obstruction either?

The fact of the matter is that a strange man approached her on a dark, rural road when her car had broken down and did not leave her alone when she asked him to. She had already done everything she could do to fix the situation. By that point he will have seen what she looked like and gotten her license plate number. That is a dangerous situation for a woman to be in. I would have called the police too.

He didn’t

That is good advice sometimes but breakdown helplines do occasionally advise people to stay in the car if it is dark, poor weather conditions or would be more risky to move than to stay put. She may have been given this advice.

So much of this post is confusing.

If your house was only "just around the bend" why didn't your husband walk there to speak to the woman?

If you'd just left the house to do the school run, and the woman was so close, why were you going so fast on a bendy road that you may have "slammed in to her"?

If the road is bendy, and narrow enough to require passing spaces, how can it be a 60mph road?

We're all the electrics on the woman's car dead so that she couldn't even put her own hazards on?