To dread Christmas?

[Runki]

Does anyone else dread Christmas? The expense, the being completely skint for the whole of January and sometimes beyond, the stress, the pressure, the awkwardness of possibly having to spend time with relatives you might not particularly like and don't see all year, but you HAVE to because it's Christmas. That Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time song on repeat in shops. All the adverts you see denoting the perfect family Christmas and it's not like that for everyone. And then you sit there at the end of Christmas Day and realise you've spent most of it cooking and washing up. Is it just me or am I just Ebenezer Scrooge?! 😂

I think the key is not to feel guilt tripped into doing something you really can't afford to do or something you really hate to do.

Is there any way you can lower yours and other people's expectations to take the pressure off?

Christmas isn't my favourite time of year either.

It's just you.

I stopped spending time with the in laws at Christmas and rest of dh family because it was the worst ever , I don't see Christmas as a expense because I don't buy presents for anyone

I really like Christmas but I agree it can be busy/stressful.
I've gotten better as I've gotten older at doing less of the bits I don't want to do.
Apart from seeing relatives are there any things you are doing only because you feel you should? (e.g. expensive December days out with DC).

Why do you HAVE to spend time with people you don't want to?

Imagine clicking on this thread, thinking that and then posting it.

Ignore her, OP.

Don't spend more than you can afford.
Don't spend time with people you don't like.
Don't cook/eat a big meal unless you desperately want to.
Ignore what other people do.
🙂

@SunnyHappyPeople Thank you. 😀 I did think, I can't be the only one out of billions of people, surely?! 😂

Some people love Christmas and the big lie is everyone loves Christmas. They don't. I certainly don't.

I think the answer is to say no.
I used to do it all for in-laws arriving.
I remember one year spending Christmas Eve in the laundromat trying to dry a duvet.
Now my partner and I go out to lunch, a few decorations, a few presents. I'm still big on cards and they were sent yesterday. And a few hours with family I like who live 12 doors away

What would you like to do? Do that.

We don't have any stress or undue expenses over Christmas, no. The meal is just a roast, no more expensive than it would be any other time of the year. We don't buy mountains of presents, everyone gets one modest but thoughtful gift and some sweets. There are a few paid events but they probably don't amount to more than £100. A few socials with friends which are optional. Family is fabulous and I wouldn't elect to see people I didn't like.

It;s so not.

Of course it isn't
Bit of a sweeping statement no?
Leave the grinch's alone!

I think it was my turn of phrase. You don't HAVE to, but I sometimes am made to feel like that by family. I have an older brother who was very abusive to me in former years, and my step-father tries to guilt trip me into seeing him every year, because it's Christmas. I never see him at any other time. Stuff like that.

It’s definitely not just you op!

I'd dread it if I did half the things were expected to. Instead I have a relaxed time, refuse invitations, don't have anyone round and just enjoy myself.

It is costly though, still send people presents... but why skint for the whole of January? I'm a bit worse off for October, November and December as I buy presents then - buy wouldn't say skint, I don't spend myself penniless, I keep within my budget. If you're buying Christmas things in January then something has gone wrong? Or are you overspending/getting into debt?

No, it's not just you.

I wouldn't say I dread it, but I certainly don't spend all year thinking about it or planning for it, or squealing like a small child over an elf or santa or place settings.

I think though that you have to do things on your terms. You will get people on here posting "helpfully" that you just don't do any of it, have pizza on christmas day, don't buy presents, don't see anyone. Which is fine when you live in a vacuum, not so possible when you have other people in your house to consider.

There are lots of ways to dial it down. Agree not to buy presents for adults, or do a secret santa or lucky dip where you are only buying one thing. Get your food ready prepared to put straight in the oven so there's no peeling, chopping, stirring. Listen to podcasts rather than the radio and shop at Aldi and Lidl where there's no awful festive music. Do not put pressure on yourself to make everything perfect, life is never perfect and you do not need to feel guilted into doing everything that other people say they are doing.

I do think there's so much pressure on people (read "mums"!) that if they aren't grinding themselves to bits with stress over Christmas they are failing their kids somehow... it isn't fair, but it's really hard to just drop a lot of these things and deal with the negative comments.

I do think things that relate to money though, you can just try to minimise. Too late for this year, but getting in early with a price cap on gifts (or not gifts at all for people a few steps removed from you) is absolutely fine. No-one should be having a skint January because they've felt obliged to overstretch on gifts! And i guess maybe just look at what you can trim down or do in advance - eg things like freezing peeled part boiled potatoes and parsnips that can be roasted from scratch to save time on the day. And goes without saying, many hands make light work - so people need to chip into cooking/decorating etc!!

I hear you OP. I feel the same, but mainly because I feel so exhausted by this time of the year (my job is always intense September to December), so just at the point when I'm ready to collapse in a heap and have a break, I have to gear up for Christmas. I really don't enjoy it, apart from the very welcome time off work.

Thank you so much for your kind reply. I think it's even more difficult this year because my in-laws have cut me out of their lives since my husband passed away, but still want to see my children, and the whole thing is so awkward. 😢 What I'd like to do is take my children out for lunch somewhere. Failing that, an afternoon in a launderette sounds bloody tempting! 😉

Nope! I love it - all of it. The planning, the prep, the shopping, the wrapping, (I used to love writing cards but don't do that anymore), I love the meal planning, the food prep on Christmas Eve - I love cooking the dinner. It's my favourite time of year.

Since last year I’ve learned that Christmas is not the be all and end all. Last Christmas my brother died. He took his own life a couple of days before and all of a sudden it didn’t matter what I’d bought or not bought or if I’d remembered the sprouts. This year for obvious reasons I’m not really feeling it but I have kids so the tree will go up and Santa will come. But I’m fecked if I care about all the small shit I used to worry about cos it really doesn’t matter!

It seems to arrive quicker every year and it seems to start in August now (mince pies in Sainsbury's).
I'd like to make it every four years like the Olympics.

I am sooooo sorry!

LOL. I think every 2 years would be good!

With the music it definitely is. The radio never used to play any christmas songs until the first monday in December, and gradually increase the frequency until Christmas day. Now they start mid-November. Unbearable.

Agree that every 4 or 5 years would be ideal.