MN makes me feel bad

[wilkoqueen]

About everything.
My diet, my drinking habits, the screen time I allow my dc. I could go on. I take a lot of advice from here but I also try to remember that it's literally a bunch of strangers on the internet and anyone can say anything,
How reflective do you think MN is of real life? By MN standards I suspect I am a slovenly, unhealthy sub standard parent.

Oh I ignore most of it. I'm happy with my life and how my kids are raised and they had their own ipads from 2 and 3, and as long as they put it away when told, have unlimited screen time. - studies are generally done on TV watching - static position, no real choice in what they're watching, which is completely different to how kids use ipads - headstanding on the settee, watching some Food Theory video about sugar. Doing well at school, polite, reasonable kids. I'm not worried. Oh, and the youngest only showers a couple of times a week (oldest most days - since 14 and stinky, me something in between). And I have toilet brushes, an open fire, and run my dishwasher overnight.

It's a load of people thinking their way is the 'one true way' and everyone else is mad for living differently.

Whereas really, everyone's different, and there's a world of difference between being neglectful, and just not prioritising something as highly as some other people do.

Oh, and I like both balloons, even helium ones, and fireworks (at appropriate times). Clearly I'm awful.

No kids so less time commitments but this stranger off the interweb sometimes watches a solid six hours of Netflix in the evening. Collapse on the sofa after work, shove a jacket spud in the oven at some point, and return to the sofa and telly until bed time 😂

After reading multiple threads about people thinking wearing your pyjamas around the house after 9am was utter madness I realised you should take everything with a pinch of salt.

people are quick to preach however if you saw their lives under a microscope I’m sure you’d have things to say about their habits.

If it’s any consolation that screen time thread made me feel like crap about my 3yo too. I’m a SAHM and he only goes to nursery three mornings a week… hard to fill 14 hours a day 5 days a week with crafts, books and toys alone. Either that or I’m just doing a shit job

Sorry to double post but I also don’t think all screen time is equal. There’s a huge difference between playing an interactive alphabet Sesame Street game on a tablet vs watching MAFS or whatever reality crap the parents have got on the telly in the background. At least that’s what I tell myself

I suppose in real life I've met a couple of pearl clutching / ridiculously high levels of domestic labour type mums and I know first hand how hard they work at being miserable despite financially being well off. So when I read judgemental or ridiculous comments on MN I smile and think how creatively miserable someone must be to post that.

I'm a grandma (though mercifully, only a MIL to sons in law!) and Mumsnet has made me paranoid about putting a foot wrong (unwittingly). It's also turned me into a people pleaser, and I keep putting myself last and putting a brave face on disappointment, because I don't want to annoy them.

It's stupid. My daughters are not difficult people. But I'm aware that I don't communicate honestly with them about what I would like. It's very evident at the moment with Christmas arrangements, and it's making me sad.

Honestly if MN makes you feel bad, get off it. Like any other social media.

I am here because it mostly makes me feel good. Mostly hang out in the Books and Telly forums.

I think of mumsnet as a bit like take a break magazine 😁

I saw the one above screentime, the comments were bullshit 🤣 my toddler is active, out and about, we play and bake together but he can easily have a good few hours of TV in the day

This is why people who look down on influencers and say they have an easy life are completely wrong. Imagine mumsnet criticism but applied to your own social media by more people every time you post anything ever, even just a picture of your cat.

Well, if you don't like it you can always visit somewhere else in the vast Internet. Nobody is forcing you to be here.

No, no - it’s excel-hic-excellent. I’m slamming a shot every time the words ‘pinch of salt’ crop up on this thread, and now I can barely type, let alone stand up. If my eight-year-old wasn’t here to get another half bottle of Smirnoff from the freezer, I’d be in real trouble.

But usually on threads where there are a bunch of sanctimonious types, there are often also people who are more sensible and practical.

Admittedly, the sanctimonious types do tend to have a lot to say!

But it's like real life - you like the people who think similarly to you and can ignore the ones you don't. The only difference is tha tin real life you actively go looking for those people rather than on here where it's like throwing open the door to your house and putting out a newspaper ad to say anyone can come - you have no idea what you're going to get.

Enjoy your coffee!

Yes I've experienced this too. Also posted for some relationship advice when dh was being a bit of an arse. Nothing major and I highlighted that overall he's a great husband and father and a lovely person. Got told numerous times by total strangers that I'm completely wrong about him and he isn't lovely at all....

I watched MAFS Australia when I was pregnant with both my babies, then the repeat seasons during those delightful new born stages where they cluster fed all bloody night. Between that and bluey they both love a good Australian accent 🤣

Nobody can "make (you) feel bad". This is a common error. You are describing your own responses to yourself and you should own your own feelings and opinions.

For example, if people post about their exercise regime and I think "god, I know I should do something about that", it isn't anyone else's fault. I either have to get comfortable with not exercising or choose to do something about it.

@Kitkat2065 trust me my son watched that as a baby too 🤣 but now he’s 3 and repeating everything I don’t have it on because they’re all swearing and arguing constantly!

Yes I understand OP.

I also have a toddler and it's the diet threads that get me. Things that people say they'd never dream of feeding their children or themselves, and it'll be things like homemade shepherd's pie???

Very odd attitude to food on here at times.

There was a thread the other day that was a completely derailed when not only did a man post but he also committed the major faux pas of admitting that his wife was a lot younger. To add insult to injury she was also a size six, which apparently is impossible if you are older than 12.

I don't think most people are lying but I think that there are a lot of people on here and we're all likely to boast about what we're good at and gloss over the things we're bad at. So the person who has high achieving kids might not do much exercise. And the person who does loads of exercise might drink too much. And the person who is teetotal might not earn much. And the person on the high salary might have a shit marriage. And the person with a happy marriage might be overweight. And the person with a healthy BMI might have ND kids.

So yes, in every area of your life, there may be someone on here who is doing better in that aspect. But that doesn't mean they are winning in every other part of their life.

Don’t feel bad @wilkoqueen at least you belong here. I’m childfree and on the MN without kids board we’re frequently told we’re pointless, worthless, abnormal, not real women, abusive, have no empathy etc, etc. One mum even said we’re in the same category as racists😂