Hello,
am I being unreasonable thinking it’s strange my partner goes on holiday with his mum.
so for a little background my partner and myself have a 3M baby, whom was unplanned and neither my partner or his family took well to at the beginning. Now things has done a 360 and they have became extremely overbearing and intrusive. There have been many many discussions on boundaries as I would only see them once every few months before I got pregnant to (especially his mother) wanting to see me and baby a few times a week. There have also been many hurtful and nasty comments made to me and I feel my newborn bubble was absolutely ruined with stress caused by his mother and my partner not wanting to fall out with his mum so told me constantly I had to deal with things and not to disappoint his family. My boundaries were no visits late in the evening, and no kissing baby during flu season, also no hurtful comments (shouldn’t be a boundary anyway but it is)🤷🏼♀️
I feel like I’m not in a relationship with my partner but in a relationship with his mum too, anytime she calls up angry or crying that things haven’t gone her way or that she feels out of control, my partner runs after her and will leave me for half the day and the whole evening, when I could do with help getting baby down to instead see her and comfort her. I understand it’s his mother but I feel like I’m constantly not a priority and he doesn’t see me and our baby as his family. I am made to be the villain and bad guy if I try to get him to see things from my point of view.
Anyway he casually tells me when I asked him what we should get his mum for a birthday gift that he’s getting her something big this year, he’s taking her for a holiday, just themselves. At first I thought it was sweet and he’d be taking both his parents but when I found out it was just his mum I just thought it was odd. When I was pregnant he had a few separate weekends away with his pals and he would also go for many nights out as I thought he deserved a break. He doesn’t take me on holidays that I don’t contribute half too and is very tight with money so I was stunned he would do that. I also feel that he feels super guilty that his mum isn’t happy about boundaries and I am made to feel that it’s my fault that a few fall outs have happened when they have been about nasty comments being made 🤷🏼♀️ he also goes for dinner himself with her ect ect I just find it a bit strange.