To find school rule silly?

[Skymum36]

So DD is in year 1. Last year in reception we were allowed to take the children to their class as it was right next to the gate in the playground. However, from year 1 onwards, the classrooms go further into the school and we are supposed to drop them in the playground so that they can walk theirselves to the classrooms. I think it was introduced during Covid as parents with older siblings have said it’s only been a thing the last couple of years, however they have apparently kept it on to ‘promote independence’.
I would have no issue with this, except from the fact that DD and numerous other children seem to get really anxious about going in by theirselves and there are tears every morning, yet the head teacher/teachers will not let parents past the gate to make sure that they are ok. Another students mum told me that it was affecting her son’s morning to the point he didn’t want to go to school because it made him anxious in the morning. I find myself struggling at the gate every day now trying to convince DD to walk in but she just gets upset and refuses and asks me to take her, I then have to wait for a teacher to spot me struggling so that they will walk her in. There has been quite a few heated debates between parents and teachers from where they literally point blank will not let parents past (yet it’s fine on pick up?).
The thing is I know it isn’t that big of a deal to some, but the majority of them are still only 5 years old. DD is quite an anxious child, and I just feel like this little rule sets her up for the day wrong when it wouldn’t change a thing to just be able to walk them in.
Is it a rule in anyone else’s school? AIBU to think it just seems a bit unneeded?

I don't understand why Year 1 children are so upset and distressed by walking to the classroom from the school gate. Is something agitating them? Are the parents passing on their own anxieties.

As PPs have said, there are lots of good safeguarding reasons why unvetted adults shouldn't be taking children into classrooms and even more good reasons why parents shouldn't be hovering around 'comforting' their children about a perfectly normal school process.

We drop ours off at the classroom door and say good morning or sometimes converse with the teacher, all other year groups the same, it doesn't cause any chaos at all

At my son's school we drop off with the teacher at the classroom door. He has anxiety (and is autistic) and no way would he just walk in on his own. It's fine if they're happy, but if they're distressed every morning to the point of school refusal then for goodness sakes it's clearly an issue and accommodations should be made! They're still so young!

This has been the norm at our primary school right from their second day of reception. We dropped at the gate and the children walk to their classrooms outside door and go through the classroom to hang coats etc. Main difference though was that YR, 1 &2 doors were near the gate and KS2 were around the other side of the building through the playground.

DC1 was summer born, autistic with severe speech and language delay but having explained what would be happening, he liked the rule and knowing exactly how the day would start.

The caretaker would stand at the gate with a couple of Y6 children who would help any anxious or upset children to their classroom.

In all Scottish primaries that I'm aware of, parents wouldn't be allowed to go past reception/the security buzzer without a prior appointment. (That's been the case in my LA since Dunblane.)

We used to find parents just prolong the process of drop off and some even make their kids more anxious

I’m from the land of big yellow school buses 🚌… kids are put on the bus and they figure it out from there. When I was little there was only a parent at the us stop on the first day of school… after that you walked yourself (usually only to the corner). Why yes I’m a dinosaur 🦖

Oh Barbie, where in my post did I mention about going into corridors 😝

Surely if she is anxious leaving you then you going in won't change that though? It's perfectly normal. At my primary school in the 80's and 90's we were dropped at the gate and had a playtime outside until the whistle went and we'd line up. At my kids school we stood in the playground with our kids until the classeoom doors were opened but we never went in. It's actually a massive safeguarding issue having parents coming into the building. All visitors into schools should be signed in and if not dbs checked then they should be accompanied at all times. If they let parents wander in and out with no one keeping track, who's to say someone with ill intentions couldn't just wander in and hide somewhere.

Unfortunately not. There isn’t any playing in the playground before school allowed and there isn’t any bell, just drop at the gate and then have to walk round to their class which isn’t in view of the gate.

My eldest is 25 and that's the way it was when he was in primary.

I have never heard of parents taking children to the classroom door inside the building. Taking them to an external classroom door that leads onto the playground I get, but actually going into the school? Does this really happen?

Totally normal and if the school doesn’t want a playground or clock room full of parents then fine.

Maybe instead of wondering if this is okay and finding ways around it use it as an opportunity to resist helicopter parenting and work with your child on building a confidence and resilience.

We may not all like some rukes but working with them to support your child will help them far more in life.

She finds the transition of leaving me easier once she sees her teacher so it’s just that bit in the middle which she has to face on her own.

They don’t get any time in the playground nor do we get the chance to stand with them until their classroom doors open. 😅

But yeah I do understand the safeguarding issue of course, although I wasn’t asking to be let into the building as all the classrooms have external doors around the edge of the school.

Yeah probably by parents who monopolise teachers time at drop off.

I don’t know where people are getting the idea that it’s an internal door, all the classrooms definitely have external doors 🫣

My DD isn't at school yet but when I was at school that was standard procedure, and when dropping mu godson off before and after covid. No one got anxious.

I wasn’t really referring to your original post. I get you don’t go inside and don’t want to. I was just baffled that taking children to an internal classroom door is something other posters seem to think is normal. I’ve just never heard of this ever being a thing.

That's not ok.
And everyone who is telling you that's it is very common and normal is actually describing a different scenario.

My Mum tells me when she was 6 she went to school on the bus across London with her younger sister. They had to change bus too. Now that was a few years ago and of course my children didn't do that. But it shows you that our expectations of our children to walk 100 yards into school on their own is probably underestimating their abilities rather than overestimating.

I mean, sure, they might take a week to get used to it but it's an age appropriate expectation.

I've only skimmed the thread but just to say it's not just you OP.

Our school had classroom doors that opened onto the playground and for the entirety of infant and junior school, parents would walk them to the classroom door - and pick them up from there too.

So we had no parents in the classroom, cloakrooms etc, so no impact on getting kids sorted and sat down. But it hugely helped the kids who were anxious or who had SEN as it meant that they weren't sticking out at "othered" by their parents walking into the playground with them.

I have two autistic DC who have significant needs so there's absolutely no way they would have coped with walking into a crowded, noisy playground on their own (they both had a 1:1 for lunchtime/breaks etc). So obviously I come at this with different experience.

Of course, much depends on the physical set-up of your school and whether you can drop at the classroom door without having to need to walk through the school - which I agree wouldn't be feasible en masse.

OP, I hope your little one's anxiety passes soon. She's still so very young - some children just take a bit longer to grow their confidence. She'll get there.

Apologies! Misinterpreted your response.

I do agree that students, parents and siblings all in one inside space would seem chaotic!

At my primary the children line up in the playground when the bell rings and the class teachers go outside to greet the children and lead the line into the classroom.

We stopped parents coming into the school with the children in the morning long before covid because having so many people in school provided opportunity for strangers to also enter unnoticed. Visitors have to sign in at reception so we can safegaurd the children.

Post COVID change for our school and it's much calmer. Teachers can start helping children to get on straight away rather than dealing with parents at the door. They are accessible at the end of the day. Ours are dropped off at the gate and walk across the playground and up a set of steps and around d the building! It's a big walk. We have the head on the main gate and another staff member half way. Nursery and reception use another gate. Nursery parents allowed in the building, reception drop off at the door.
We have a few children that have exceptions made on a case by case basis.

The more you make a fuss the more anxious you will make your child, take them to the drop off point quickly and leave as quickly as possible without making a fuss.