To find school rule silly?

[Skymum36]

So DD is in year 1. Last year in reception we were allowed to take the children to their class as it was right next to the gate in the playground. However, from year 1 onwards, the classrooms go further into the school and we are supposed to drop them in the playground so that they can walk theirselves to the classrooms. I think it was introduced during Covid as parents with older siblings have said it’s only been a thing the last couple of years, however they have apparently kept it on to ‘promote independence’.
I would have no issue with this, except from the fact that DD and numerous other children seem to get really anxious about going in by theirselves and there are tears every morning, yet the head teacher/teachers will not let parents past the gate to make sure that they are ok. Another students mum told me that it was affecting her son’s morning to the point he didn’t want to go to school because it made him anxious in the morning. I find myself struggling at the gate every day now trying to convince DD to walk in but she just gets upset and refuses and asks me to take her, I then have to wait for a teacher to spot me struggling so that they will walk her in. There has been quite a few heated debates between parents and teachers from where they literally point blank will not let parents past (yet it’s fine on pick up?).
The thing is I know it isn’t that big of a deal to some, but the majority of them are still only 5 years old. DD is quite an anxious child, and I just feel like this little rule sets her up for the day wrong when it wouldn’t change a thing to just be able to walk them in.
Is it a rule in anyone else’s school? AIBU to think it just seems a bit unneeded?

She feels a lot happier once she’s seen her teacher, she was absolutely fine going in, in reception.

It's common practice to drop them at the gate, I am a teacher and have 3 children of my own. As soon as parents are allowed in they stand about gabbing and getting in the way and having all extra bodies in the playground can be unsettling for the children. There should be someone at the gate to hand them over to if they are upset, usually 5-10 mins before the bell rings.

Ours are deposited in the playground and walk in themselves. We are only allowed in reception classroom for the first half term of reception. Like PP has said, teacher doesn't want parents faffing.

Since Year 3 (small village) my youngest walks from the car, crossing the road and getting into school independently.

I don't want to go from Year 6 to Year 7 where they go from being taken in and their hand held to walking there and back an hour each way by themselves. Trust should be earned and independence encouraged gradually.

If your child is genuinely anxious then lots of things school can do. Use of breakfast club to ease transition, late entry and dropping into reception when school is quieter etc. All strategies used by our school for kids who are school refusing etc.

Can’t remember it ever being any different when I was a teacher ( and I’m old!)
I think it will be better if you concentrate on building up your DD’s confidence. How she’s in year 1, a big girl now, maybe she could show (anxious child’s name) how to go to the classroom.
Also give her little jobs to do occasionally that show her how independent she can be.

Definitely dropped my daughter at the school gate from year 1. They had to line up in their class lines when the bell rang and then they were walked in. I think we might be have been able to hang around at the gate for a bit. It’s quite handy to maybe arrange to meet a friend outside so they have someone to go in with?
it’s a shame it’s causing distress x

DS' school don't do this, another local school does. I know (through work) this is because they had a safeguarding incident with an adult inside the school gates who wasn't supposed to be there. They changed the way they do things after that, no adults past the gates only children. They do have teachers on the gate but the children just walk to the classrooms themselves.

I don't understand why your child would get anxious about it, if you let them out in the garden would they cry about going back in the house on their own?

Always dropped in playground from reception. But then the teachers got them in a line and walked them in surely? The child didn't have to go and find their own classroom?

I think that’s a bit strange. Most schools where I’ve dropped off parents/carers have gone to the edge of the playground so they can say goodbye, watch them lining up with the teachers etc then at the end of the day parents/carers wait for the children to come out with their teachers.

Never thought of something like this, and it’s actually a very good point!

My DD used to struggle too, but yes after reception they do try to encourage that independence

My DDs school has always been drop at the gate, but it's only a short walk to the entrance doors.

There are always 1 or 2 teachers on the gate tho to greet, I'd think it odd for there not to be! It helps reassure any nervous kids then I think.

YANBU. Where I work parents can take children to the classroom up until year 2 but it works well because each of those classes has a fire door to the playground so parents don't need to come into the school itself. They can also drop them at the gate to the school if they wish and let the child walk to class by themselves (staff at the gate). Most do take their year 1s in, not all do for year 2. We pride ourselves on being a nurturing school though so understand children can find it hard.

Ours does this but there is normally a TA at the gate to take in the ones that are upset and there always are some tears even in the older age groups. I think though for the kids who are having a wobble, they’d be having a wobble at the gate or in the classroom and it’s much less disruptive for everyone if it’s not in the classroom.

For at least the first term of reception my youngest went into school absolutely sobbing. She was totally fine within about 5 minutes of being settled but often had a TA walking her in or giving her a cuddle. She is still prone to the off wobble but can normally be chivied in by going in with a friend. It does break your heart a bit when they’re so upset though.

Is it ok to have up to 60 non disclosed adults clogging up the corridors endangering other children, causing a risk, getting in the way and generally making utter pain in the arses of themselves. Is that what the 6 year old children want? Jesus God.

Yes, because that's exactly the same kind of situation......not!

I'm really surprised by this thread. We drop at the external door (a few tas or teachers are there) and the kids walk to the classroom - I assumed this was standard everywhere! Genuinely feel like it would be worse for everyone to have corridors full of parents!

ETA parents do go into the playground though, just not through the actual doors.

Parents drop off at classroom for every year at our school. It’s much easier for teachers to manage children and spot the ones who are struggling as they come in through the door.

Not challenging rules is a ridiculous notion, how would we ever change or progress to a better way of doing things if we all just mindlessly followed ‘the rules’??

I would speak to the class teacher or SENDCo and ask what they can do to help in the mornings with your child’s anxiety. They have to meet the needs of each individual child, and can make reasonable adjustments to achieve this. It may be that you are able to take her in for a few days/weeks to settle her down then can step back once her anxiety has reduced.

Could you try to find some other child /children in her class who are happy going in and get them to go in together? Also, just say to her that you're not allowed to come into the playground.

Ex-childminder doing wrap around care and also mum of two - drop off to classroom is usual for reception year; they were taken to the building entry from yr1, where HT or senior staff member ensured they went in alone from that point.

Yes, it's understandable. Almost like, there must be something wrong because other kids are worried. I'd big her up! She'll soon be skipping in with hardly a backward glance to you 😀

Surely you drop them off, they run around with their friends playing until the bell, then they line up and are taken in by their teacher?

No, at DD’s primary (big city primary) KS1 parents walked with kids into the class. From KS2 children were entering through a separate entrance. Parents could go in too in principle but they usually didn’t. At least it’s like this before Covid, not sure how it’s now.

I would try and chat with some other mothers and see if you can get a group of them to meet up with all the dc just outside the gate and then send all the dc in together (so they feel like they are lining up iyswim. Even better if one of them has a dc in an older year who could walk them to their classroom door before scooting off to their classroom

Mine have been at two different primary schools, we always drop them off to the classroom doors or hall door, so we always see them physically going in, all classroom doors have a door that opens in to the playground, so we were never going into the actual school.
I would speak to your school, what's the big deal of going closer to the door to drop them off? Why do they need to go on their own at such a young age? I know my child would've had an issue with this.