If men were left to organise Christmas themselves

[Fiddlesticks32]

AIBU to think it would be an absolute disaster?

And what would it look like?

it would be great in our house, just as it always is.
(WFH today, DH has put up the tree while i work, i will decorate it later)

My mum was like that
Moaned that she had to do everything
Shouted if we did anything because we were "doing it wrong" and she'd rather do it her way
yelled at us when we did stuff - everything we did, she'd do again. eg Dad hoovered the living room she'd huff and puff and get the hoover back out and re do it in a really pointed, angry, shovey way, dramatically moving furniture, really making a meal out of it and clearly intended to show that he'd not hoovered correctly.
When we asked her what she'd like us to do she'd yell that she shouldn't have to tell us what she needed because if we loved her we'd "just know"
It was exhausting. You literally couldn't win so we all gave up. Which of course she loved because she got to yell that she had to do everything.

We all just stopped giving a shit.

My dad died several years ago and I hope he finally has some fucking peace.

My dm was like this growing up. I don’t really know how to cook as a result. She’d say I should cook but then take over because it was easier. Once had a blazing row over how to mash potato once. In true form she realised I wouldn’t be able to survive at uni and threw money at the problem and sent me to cookery college for a bit instead of actually teaching me herself.

see also washing up, only did it at Christmas and never properly because was never shown how to.

If my husband were in charge nothing would be booked ahead so we’d miss out on good Santa and panto tickets, no Christmas concerts etc.

The food would be amazing, and lots of it. There would be fewer presents, wrapped last minute. There would be more decorations, merrily flung around in no particular order. It would be a lovely family day. I would have not been able to relax all through December though, I like everything done early!

If my Dad were in charge it would be a disaster. Never cooked a meal in his life. Never knew what presents ‘they’ had got us until we opened them. My Mum and Grandma did it all between them.

It would be great in our house! DH does a lot of it anyway, he sorts out presents for his side of the family and I sort mine. We both buy presents for DDs.

I do the cooking, so I imagine Christmas Dinner would all be bought pre prepared from M&S but that's fine.

And there would be a Christmas tree but no lights on the outside of the house as that's something I like to do. He doesn't begrudge it, but doesn't think it is needed. I just like loads of fairy lights at Christmas.

I don't think he'd send Christmas cards as he thinks they're a waste of paper but he would book the panto or Breakfast with Santa as DDs like those.

If I was incapacitated, I know he'd handle it all perfectly well. He's an equal partner and pulls his weight.

You think they'd be that much?

Well I already buy and cook all the food so nothing would change there. The decorations would be a bit sparser because I think DP goes a bit mad, and there'd be no bloody lights outside.

I'd have to step up a bit and sort out DDs presents, DP working in a toy shop always made it more her job, and all of them would be wrapped dreadfully instead of half because at this point it's just not a skill I'm going to improve at. And her family wouldn't get any presents, because I don't care if I'm in charge, thats still her job.

And there'd be one less person around the table, because I wouldn't have invited my knobhead of a father to stop DP from going on about it.

The kids would be very disappointed. And no doubt we'd have a lot of family in law. Even more than normal.

I get the food ( just add a few bits to the weekly online delivery from the middle of November until the last shop before Christmas so no big deal really), and his, DD's, her DP's presents but my DP sorts everything else out and does the cooking and cleans up afterwards. It's also my birthday on THAT day so he organises everything for that as well.

Mine always moans about how pointless Christmas is, and I do everything Christmas in our house, all the present buying, decorating, cooking etc, so if was up to him it probably just wouldn’t happen. He’s already started complaining about how Christmas traditions are stupid and that we shouldn’t do presents as nobody really needs anything… and that Christmas tree lights waste electricity. It would be basically be a normal day, when the kids got hungry he’d search the cupboards and maybe come up with pasta and sauce…

If DH was in charge we’d have even more food because I usually persuade him to rein it in with the cheese and cake buying. Booze would still be abundant. Lights would still go up but he’s never gone with the DC to buy the tree (to be fair he moves furniture, hoovers, gets decs from lift so we’re ready ti go with the tree). Presents would be last minute and it would be immediate family only. Now the kids are teens they’re not worried about missing nativity plays, panto, trips to Santa etc. Would have been more damage when they were little.

My late father did tree decorations, bought presents and cooked Christmas dinner for ten people. He was always the one who enjoyed Christmas even though he was a curmudgeon the rest of the year.

But would they be as bothered?

I think it's not that men don't love cooking, making things look Christmasy or buying decent gifts. Mine books a place to stay in August, (so aged parents can come over easily and not have to host or travel), buy and cook all the food plus trimmings and gets good gifts for everyone.

However he buys it all from Booking.com /M&S/Amazon with maybe one afternoon round the local shops if he's the way back from doing an errand.

There's no fuss or extras . He won't have bought presents for anyone he hadn't seen in a while or works with, won't worry about colour schemes, wreaths or pyjamas or doormats or whatever tat is popular. It's not a bad thing but I think most men would do the basics rather than then say, contribute to a Christmas Bargains thread that's been going since October...ahem

Yes to this! My dh would pull off a fantastic day.

My DH would get more and more stressed about making it what I want and would be totally incapable of making any decisions, so on about the 23rd he would go out in a panic to do all the shopping. We would either end up with all the wrong things, or with the most expensive versions of the right things as that would be all that was left to buy.

we go to my parents and my stepdad cooks. my husband is amazing at presents. used to be rubbish at wrapping, but he's improved hugely at that now. husband peels the spuds, and clears away the plates to the dishwasher afterwards. I provide the cheeseboard, do the bulk of the decorating for myself and my mum (the tree has been my job for a very long time since I was a child)
I cook the sprouts, because everyone loves the way I cook them.
so, in our family, the workload is fairly even, really. and the men of the family contribute a great deal to things

My DF and DH would have been fine - FIL'a would be a shambles

In my house there would be nothing. My husband doesn't do anything, not ever buying gifts. He hasn't always been like that. But over the last 10 years nothing. So this year I told him I will buy what I want for Christmas and he can buy his presents. Today he asked if I wanted a quilt cover and I said no, we are getting out own gifts. His answer was I won't get anything then. My reply that will be on you then. I am try to keep my new shiny spine working. Wish me luck please.

To be honest, we’d save a lot of money!

The food would be good. DH is a fab cook. But he hates turkey, so it would be ham and a lot of good booze.There would be a proper tree, absolutely straight and level in its stand, with about 1/4 of the decorations I put on. 😀Maybe a wreath on the door…but I’m stretching it a bit.

The presents would be wrapped properly because I am rubbish at it, but he might not have remembered to replenish the wrapping paper or tape. There would be no Christmas cards sent out. He hates doing Christmas cards.

https://www.goodto.com/family/men-manage-just-four-out-of-23-tasks-during-christmas-we-bet-you-can-t-guess-them-all-hint-one-involves-the-main-event

This is from 2013 but I doubt the stats have changed much

https://yougov.co.uk/politics/articles/8208-women-do-all-work-christmas

It would be great. DH always gets a real tree and doesn’t get fussy like me when the kids put the baubles on all in clumps. And he’s a fab cook and host so that would be all fine. Not sure what presents he would buy though! Whatever he could get 2 days before I guess!

I imagine it would look something like this...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0Yq0N1Mf1_4

The food was shite the only year ex did some. I think I had managed to cook the meat the day before but with morning sickness I couldn't do the veg and potatoes again. He does reasonable presents though. No decorations.

Mine would be great!

I think the only thing that would stress me out is, it would be way more last minute than what I would do. But he’d do a fab job. Food and presents would be amazing. Social events would be organised (drinks/dinners with friends and family etc).

The only thing I don’t think we’d have is decorations- he is never bothered about them. I put them up at the weekend, that’s always soley my job as he could happily live without them. And there’s be no festive candles, which would upset me 🤣 but the things that actually matter, he’d be great at.

What's that got to do with your OP?