How to hint not to bring kids to wedding

[Meme555]

We are having a very small wedding next year (just registry office then lunch for 35 people). We have around 9 kids that can potentially come ranging from 4 months to 8 years. 5 of these are family/godchildren, however 3 are friends kids. We aren’t super close with the children as we see the parents separately rather than as a family. Is it unreasonable to just invite the parents? They have a great support system and often go away without the kids etc so not worried that they will struggle for childcare. This would then enable us to invite another couple of close friends

Don't hint, be clear.

Don't hint, be clear else they'll end up bringing the kids.

Br clear, no hints. “Child free wedding” on the invitation.

Just put the parents names only on the invite and either say or text something like “sorry not to invite the kids. We are just pretty right on space so made the decision to only have family kids”.

You need to be direct, so they know what they’re signing up for / can plan accordingly.

You also need to be prepared that some of the adults may also say no as a result though - particularly those with young babies, who may not be able to leave them.

Yes, why would you hint at it? Just be clear otherwise you risk creating a situation that upsets everyone.

Just say that, due to numbers, you are including children of the family but not friends. My brother did that at his and everyone was fine with it.

You can’t hint. You’ve got to be direct. We said something vague and people still brought young children which was ok, it was a preference rather than a direct instruction. If you really don’t want them you need to say ‘I’m sorry we can’t accommodate children’. And you can’t be offended if parents then choose not to come.

Am I reading this as you want some of the kids at your wedding, but not all? Tricky situation, and we had something similar at our wedding. I think you just have to be clear and say that the only children invited are godchildren or family.

You don't hint, you just invite the parents on the wedding invite. If they ask about kids, you politely explain that it is child-free, apart from family. Simple.

We love kids but this is an adult only event

Unless it's the 4 month old, just be honest you are short on space

Don’t hint, only invite who you actually want there and be firm if guests message asking you to make an exception for their DC. Don’t engage in conversation about why other DC are there.

Don't put "child free" if there are family children there. Just put what @RaspberryBeretxx has posted.

“As we only have capacity for 35 people we aren’t not extending the invite to children make sure we can have our closest friends and family with us on the day”

This is good.

Yanbu. Perfectly fine.

Also, don't assume they'd even want to bring the dc. I LOVE a good wedding but it's a totally different occasion if you have your kids there to look after. One of our friends is getting married in May and it's the first wedding invite we've had in 5 years. I was thrilled when she said adults only! 😂🥳

Thanks everyone, it’s just the one couple that we would be not inviting the children, as the rest are family or our godchild. What makes it a bit more complicated is these 3 children are best friends with my sisters children, so worried it would then be awkward for them (I’m defo overthinking it). We also have a awkward situation with not inviting a nephews girlfriend and older sisters stepdaughter so think I’m second guessing myself now!

Yes this is it, I’m 99% sure they wouldn’t want them to come anyway so was going to word the invitation as ‘children welcome or please feel free to attend without’ but thought this might be a bit vague 😂 my sister would love to leave her 3 at home but unfortunately my parents are her only childcare so she’s fuming

It's a tiny wedding and they'll likely totally understand why their kids can't come. You have to be selective. Don't overthink it, it's perfectly fine not to invite the children.

It's fine to state no children to the friends at least but fully expect them to be unable to come

Just to add to the situation, the dad of these children is best man 😂 we aren’t having bridesmaids/groomsman etc, just 3 flower girls for me and the best man

If they are close enough friends to be invited you could ring them and chat it through or could you organise childcare for their kids and your sister's

There's no point writing this. Just invite the adults and then if they check say the dc not invited due to space. If pushed say "we usually see you without DC and we are tight on numbers. It's only a small venue".

But based on your subsequent post, not inviting a stepdaughter is a far bigger issue unless you genuinely don't know her. As it's literally 5 people you are not inviting, can't you just get a slightly bigger venue?

Yes we’ve only met her twice and actually only met her dad a handful of times. She’s a teenager so can’t think she’d want to come particularly either