To be annoyed at my neighbour?

[PeachHog]

Moved into a lovely semi detached, private rented, 18 months ago. Have 2 kids 7 and 10, it's fair to say that we've not been the quietest family. Like many we argue most days, kids play loudly, and we probably haven't been as aware of noise as we should have been. There's a single mother next door with a teenage daughter. DH put a dartboard up on adjoing wall a few weeks ago, however he didnt realise it would be heard by next door until we could hear her turn the music up whenever he was throwing darts.

However, this is what annoyed me - instead of coming to talk to us, she's went directly to the landlord to complain about the unreasonable level of noise and the dartboard! Landlord's now annoyed we didn't agree this with him first (we should have) and now im terrified we're at risk of losing our home. Aibu to think that even though we were in the wrong, she should have come to us first instead of going directly to the landlord? I had no idea she even knew him.

Bloody reverse.

You cannot possibly not have realised that throwing darts onto a board against a wall would not be heard on the other side. It's also not normal to argue and make a lot of noise on a daily basis.
You're sounding rather self centred in all this OP.
If you neighbour is a single Mum as you have said, I would imagine she feels vulnerable living next door to such a noisy family so probably felt too worried or frightened to approach you. How friendly have you been to her? Have you made an effort to chat or pass the time of day with her?
We all need to be aware of our neighbours and be mindful of noise and show respect.
Everyone on here is saying pretty much the same thing OP so I hope you're listening and taking it all on board so you can move on and keep your lovely house and not upset your neighbour any more.

@PeachHog think I'm the only 1. But I would have knocked and asked if you could move the dart board to a different wall . Or stuck a note though the door

Not the point of the thread but it sounds like he is shit at darts if they can hear darts clattering off the walls lol

Op, it’s not normal to argue most days. It’s also not normal to consistently create so much noise that a neighbour has to complain.
Id have gone to the landlord too-your neighbour most likely has a long standing relationship with them, whereas you’re just his tenants. Tenants come and go frequently.

It says a lot that you’re annoyed with your neighbour and not contrite about your family’s behaviour.
You’ve broken several clauses in your tenancy agreement — not annoying neighbours by nouse or behaviour is a usual term — and you’ve fitted a dartboard.
Try to be a better neighbour and you’ll not be in any danger of ever losing your tenancy. Simple.
Apologise to the neighbour.
Ditch the dartboard.
Teach your children how to play without screaming.

I live next door to a couple with three boys.
I've been here ten years, the youngest wasn't born when l moved here, the others were small. Nice couple, we've never had a problem until recently.
Fast forward ten years, the past two years have been a nightmare, especially in the school holidays. Constant screaming, thudding footballs, for literally hours on end (and l'm not even attached to them).
I've come home more than once from work to find in excess of five footballs in my garden. I can't put washing out, or sit out there because of the noise, or the fear of being hit by a football.
I used to throw them back, but it got ridiculous. I'd throw five balls back, then they'd be back twice within an hour wanting one ball thrown back again. They used to ask if they could come and get them, but then just started coming into my garden when they felt like it.

I finally put my foot down, I said l'd throw back any balls that came over on a Sunday. Dad was in agreement, he said that they should appreciate that if a ball came over, they were 'gone' until l threw them back.
Three weeks running l took a bag with 5-6 footballs back to the parents. Fine, the first two weeks. Then they stopped answering the door.
From what l've counted, they have eighteen footballs. Half of them are still in inaccessible places in my garden (behind bushes, behind sheds) where l can't reach them. They stopped speaking to me, so l can't ask them to come and get them.
Yet when the kids went back to school in September, the mother posted 'I think l've gone deaf' on Facebook, so they're well aware of the noise.
We have a big green across the road from our houses. It's visible from our front windows, but they won't go over there.
I'm actually making plans (I'm in a rented place, they're owners) to move because of it. I don't think some people have any concept of how noisy they are, or how it impacts on other people.
They've been good neighbours over the years, l can't say otherwise. It's a shame.

To be honest..I'd expect you to be conscious of noise levels on adjoining walls. I'm moving in to a semi detached rental this weekend and am purposely positioning my TV on the outside so there's less chance of it disturbing the neighbour. You've not thought about this, and you've not asked permission to put the dart board up which is likely in breach of your tenancy agreement (puncturing the walls) and inconsiderate for noise. Plus...what if you miss and there's holes in the walls from darts..to somebody else's property?

I don't think they SHOULD have come to you. If they weren't comfortable doing so, and that's fine, they then should be able to raise however they seem fit, regardless of whether or not they know the landlord.
In this day and age, I'm not that comfortable approaching people directly either. There's lots of nasty people out there, and some of us really don't want the confrontation, just some peace and quiet.

@Aldi99pTofu thank you

We have a dartboard (other side of house to adjoining neighbour) and playing it is so loud in the room that shares a wall, and annoying in the next room over, it surprised me how bad it is. It would be really antisocial of us to put it on the adjoining wall.

This has to be a joke?

If she hears you arguing most days, she’s probably very intimidated by you, especially your DH if he is also shouting. Why should she approach you? She has no idea how you’ll react.

I’ve banned my DH from watching the darts downstairs when we’re all in bed. I genuinely thought someone was kicking in the back door. It’s so loud. I can imagine anyone would be so thick as to put a dartboard on a wall shared with a neighbour.

As someone who has awful neighbours, (shouting, arguing, back yard like a junk yard, stealing my green bin, fly tipping, drug dealing and a load of other stuff) and who has been to the council and the police but it has not made an iota of difference, fair play to your neighbour. It really affects your quality of life having a noisy neighbours. We are all noisy sometimes but when it is on a daily basis it is horrible.

I had this with our previous neighbour and a dart board.

Thud...thud...thud..................thud....thud....thud.

Usually after 10pm at night in the bedroom adjoined to ours. Arguments every other day too, mostly between the mum and the teenage daughter.

The daughter was screaming about something or other one night at about 1am and it even got the dog angry who woke up from his snoring to growl.

Final straw came when the mum was shouting, then she'd stop, I'd get back to sleep and she'd start again twenty minutes later. At 3am I just shouted really loudly to shut the f up as I am getting up for work in a couple of hours.

Blissful silence followed and they were much quieter after that before moving a few months later yay!

You and your family are very anti social, nightmare neighbours ! I dont blame the poor woman at all. I think you need to look at how you and your family behave and think about others instead of just you and yours !

I'm sorry, I hope this is a joke, but if it didn't occur to you how loud and irritating a dart board could be, then I can only imagine how bad the noise and disturbance has been the last 18 months.

It may be hard getting so many negative responses, but consider your neighbour, who has probably bit her lip for so many months. The dart board may have been the last straw. Have you been round to apologise for the dart board noise?

To be fair, she probably thinks you are unapproachable because of your loud arguing and general inconsiderate noisiness.

I’d have gone straight to the landlord too. You don’t sound like people I’d care to confront!

You won't lose your home over a dartboard. You're massively overreacting.

Having grown up with a brother who played darts, I can confirm that the sound of a dartboad being used is really, really annoying after a wail. The other things you decribes - the kids and the shouting and so on - sound really annoying as well.

You sounds like nightmare neighbours. Your kids deserve better than to be hearing arguing most days. This is not the norm at all. I don’t blame your neighbour from complaining about you.

mine communicate by shouting, during summer they have the back door and all the windows open and the shouting commences around 11am and carries on until the early hours. I did ask them to tone it down and was called a mother fucking cunt for my troubles. Been to the council, the police and have written to the landlord (who lives in another city) three times but nothing changes. Can't afford to move and it really takes its toll on my well being. Every day I pray that they move out

There is nothing worse than noisy neighbours.

i think it is more to do with being selfish and ignorant than being thick, though he is probably thick too!

Is she in rented or owned property?! Would drop a line to her LL or council about deliberate turning music up loud to annoy you, rather than contacting you directly.
If she had an issue, easily could have popped a note through/had a word. If that didn't work, by all means contact the LL.

This is brilliant! And so true