AIBU to think it’s too soon to for the school to be diagnosis autism

[CourageTrouble]

I am writing this on behalf of my friend ( who knows ) I have a daughter with SEN needs EHCP etc but even I am struggling to understand exactly what’s going on with the school and friends DS.
We will call him George.

George is 4, summer born ( end of August ) started primary school September, previously went to private nursery from 9-6 4 days a week due to work commitments.
he was fine in nursery, no issues raised. Performed in the graduation assembly fine etc ( relevant later on ) development checks were all normal during toddler years etc

with in the first week of starting school mum was called in because they said he wasn’t where the curriculum needed him to be and didn’t have focus.
he struggled to settle in the mornings, they asked her to drop him off late and pick him up early ( 15 minutes either way )
by the end of the second week they told her that they were removing him from class and putting him in with the nursery kids and then sent her leaflets via email about parenting and autism.
they then called her in a few times to discuss putting him on the Sen register.
last week they called her in to tell her that he wasn’t going to be included in the nativity plays and to keep him at home for the 2 days as he will get nothing from it and won’t conform and other parents will be there.
today they have phoned her to say that they can no longer have him in the afternoons and can only attend the morning.

his only been at school 11 weeks and she is beside her self not understanding what’s going wrong.
when she asks they say his too far behind the curriculum and doesn’t focus.
they talk about him like he 100 percent had autism - she doesn’t mind of course if he does but she is worried that they have come to this conclusion too fast without giving him a chance to settle.

Jeez I apologise for the title 🤣🤣 I really should have put my glasses on !

Do you think they would be doing this for fun?

Do you know how hard a lot of people find it to get this far?

I don’t think that’s what she is saying at all
but they are now removing him from things and also cutting his time table by half.

Could she ask for specific examples of his behaviour, is he disruptive, is he oppositional, what exactly is going on? It's very hard to tell from your description. Also, sounds more like ADHD if he can't focus.

If he is on the SEND register, I’d look at what targets they have in place for him-they clearly are concerned. What has been said at meetings she’s been to?

How can a four year old be so far from "where the curriculum needs them to be" that they get removed from class? Are there any examples?

This is the issue, when she asks they just say his not where he needs to be and that he won’t sit on the carpet for the same length of time etc but nothing very specific.

This is called an illegal exclusion.
She does not have to agree to late/early drop offs to school, and they cannot ask him to do half days, or stay home from school.
Tell her to refuse or ask for the official exclusion paperwork.
Then ask to have a meeting with the SENCo as to what the child's needs are, and what the school suggest - they should be applying for an EHCP if they are genuinely concerned, and to see an educational psychologist etc.

They can't just send him home when they're prepping for the nativity. That's a big no no. Even bigger no no if they think he has additional needs. Inclusive ? Not very.

What is the school putting in place to support him? What adjustments are made for him, other than telling mum he can only be in school in the morning, or take part in the Nativity play. They’re effectively excluding him informally, which isn’t acceptable.

It does seem strange that he was fine in nursery and now isn’t.

It’s clear they don’t want him in school.

So far it’s basically

• he gets upset when being dropped off
• he won’t sit for long enough
• he is too far behind the curriculum
• he keeps hugging people

Its an illegal exclusion
both the part days and the 2 days off
ask to speak to the head
state that he will be attending full time and on those days
ask what sen specialists have been consulted from the la and why parent was not included in any meeting with them that decided a part time timetable ( probably hasnt been one but a school should only implement on specialist advice and in agreement of parents)

Yes I questioned why they would not be seeking a ehcp. They said there is not enough evidence for an EHCP.

Sounds like a terrible school tbh, I would seriously consider sending him somewhere more inclusive and with a healthier attitude towards child development . Is it private / are they used to hot-housed children?
It doesn’t sound like somewhere I would want to send my child.

Blimey, "even" SEN kids are entitled to an education. 😖

If he's late August can she withdraw him and put him in for reception next year? It sounds like it's a maturity issue, once that has been explored then she may need to accept additional help is required to support him.

That sounds quite extreme tbh.
I work in special ed, and while children can be flagged up as having potential SEN fairly quickly it sounds like they are really concerned to be cutting his days in half. Presumably as he is only just four he doesn't have to be in full tine education until the term of his 5th birthday but to telling her they won't have him in would make me wonder if they are oversubscribed/understaffed and he is needing 1:1 support at all times.
What ARE the issues? That he 'isn't conforming'? What does that mean...that he can't sit still at carpet time, or that he is running around the class screaming and attacking children?
Where in the curriculum does he 'need to be'? Early years should be more play based learning with some phonics and maths thrown in! Does he have communication problems, behaviour issues, what?!
If she doesn't, your friend needs very specific clarity on what exactly the issues are , and how exactly they intend to address them, and whether he needs to have an Ed Psych in and EHCP applied for... if they are being overdramatic it will soon be apparent.
He's JUST 4...barely more than a toddler, of course he is likely to be less developed across all areas than kids who are already 5!

No she cant
that is really poor advice

We are very close friends and recently had a 10 day holiday with each other.
He is an extremely confident loving little boy, talks well but he can have some meltdowns not like constantly but when he does he struggles to come out of them.

Apart from the fact a school can't diagnose autism... They can only suggest there's an issue (which there clearly is) and that autism is a possibility.

They then will assume autism whilst an assessment is in progress. Otherwise kids are left in limbo for years having a massive impact on the rest of the class.

The formal assessment may find nothing. In the meantime two years has passed and things have improved.

Or the formal assessment may say yes and then it will all be formalised. But there has still been early intervention which will help the situation getting worse in the meantime.

So if the school is saying there's a problem. There's a problem.

Going into denial about this is only going to cause problems - regardless of the actual outcome of the formal assessment. And you've lost years whilst in denial.

Reasonably it's probably going to be the best part of 18 months to two years before you get to the diagnosis stage. Take this as a gift and work with it as they will give him more support now. (Which if it isn't autism isn't going to harm anyway - cos there's clearly SOMETHING going on).

No mainstream state school, he was previously in a private nursery.

And yes...not enough evidence for an EHCP and yet they are excluding him... fuck that. She can and should insist on him being in full time... if they can't cope, either they are shit or he definitely has enough evidence!!!

He sounds like he could have benefited from being deferred to be honest. I’m in Scotland where deferrals are common place particularly for littles ones whose birthdays are near the cut off. Would it be possible to remove him from school and have him return to nursery and try again next year?
The flexible school admissions for summer borns Facebook page might be useful.

My child struggled to sit still for long periods of time and the school implemented things like a wobble cushion and fidget toys, movement breaks etc...
They need to meet his needs and it sounds like they haven't tried and gone straight to a limited timetable which is usually a last resort.

Yes she can. The child doesn't need to be in education until the age of 5 and is legally entitled to start in reception.