Family is against me for not feeding baby meat

[Foxtails]

Sorry if this has been brought up before, but could do with some advice please.

8 month old baby, stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. So far I have not fed anything with meat in it and do not plan to. I am vegetarian and have been for 8 years. DH is not veggie but does eat veggie meals in the house with me (his choice). For now, while my son has no way to make his own decisions, I won’t be feeding him meat. Once he is old enough to decide for himself, he can choose. We will always have vegetarian meals in the house but if he wants to eat it outside of the house that’s up to him and there will be no judgement from me.

It seems like absolutely none of my family members can accept this. My mum, dad, grandparents and also DHs parents have expressed to me how they think this is wrong. I have told them that as long as he is fed and is healthy then there really is no problem, and it’s up to me how I do this. It’s got to the point where it’s being brought up almost every time I see anyone because they are so so against it. I feel attacked. They are telling me not to force my views upon my child, but isn’t that what all parents do?! People parent their children how they think is best and in line with what they agree with. Everyone does this.

I am feeling upset and overwhelmed and feeling like i can’t go and see anyone without them starting this argument with me and I worry that they will feed him meat behind my back. Please could I have some advice on what to do and how to handle this? Has anyone been in this position?

Yes because he wants a peaceful relationship with his co-parent. Not because he thinks children should be raised as vegetarian. We all do things to compromise and appease our co-parents. Your husband decided to go with your desire to raise veggie children.

Absolutely. My grand-daughter is vegetarian and she asked me why I ate meat as she knows that meat comes from the cute animals that are in her books. I find it hard to justify why I am eating meat other than that I like the taste. It doesn't seem a good enough reason.

The idea that I would want her to eat meat is ridiculous.

My sister was exactly the same with her kids and got grief for it. Her kids ate meat once they were old enough to decide for themselves. They had no health issues. However the way she stopped her daughter wanting meat was bizarre, shetold her it was "boys meat" hence she shouldn't eat it! Fast forward 22years my niece has now transitioned to male

It doesn’t matter how OP chooses to see it. Her child, her choice. If they’re not prepared to respect that then they are not left alone with the baby. It’s not about contamination - reading through the OP’s posts, I don’t think that’s an issue because she’s not against the child eating meat when they’re old enough to make the choice themselves. It’s more about respecting her principles.

100%. Folks, quit attacking the OP for a dietary choice that is perfectly OK. You would almost think people on here had a herd mentality 😁

Thank you 💕

She is ok for her son to eat meat others give him as long as he knows what it is and where it comes from. He cannot know that now.

Introducing them to a range of food types is the best option, allowing them to choose or reject foods once they understand more about diet, health, ethics and so on.

Religion is also forcing your child to do something because of your beliefs. I don't think most parents are bringing up their children to worship at all altars.

Veggie and vegan diets are healthy for all life stages, according to the WHO. You just need to be careful with nutrition (though plenty of Omni children eat garbage...).

Me and my wife are vegan. We have a 6mo. At home she'll eat vegan, but I'll buy eggs etc to expose her to allergens. If my parents want to feed her meat, that's fine, but I won't be doing. Contrary the opinion of meat eaters, meat does not need to be present in every meal, and you can make healthy, tasty food without it. This week, we've had a ren lentil curry made with fresh ingredients, ',fish' chips and mushy peas, baked sweet potato with chickpeas, salad, and a hummus/lemon dressing, pasta with a creamy sauce made from butter beans etc, and plenty of veggies. All of this is healthy, and my child will not waste away eating this because she doesn't have meat at home.

I'm of the opinion she can eat as she wants out the house. I'll teach her about food in a child appropriate way, and then she can learn to make her own choices as she gets older. I still won't be buying meat as, as I'm not cooking two separate meals and it's not a cafeteria.

My parents were a bit like 'if you don't give her meat, we'll feed her in secret at ours'. I simply replied with 'if I want to raise her vegan, I will. If you do that she won't come here'. Started an argument, but who cares. It's not about the food. It's about respecting my parenting decisions.

Baby meat? Surely that would be cannibalism?😂 Sorry ...

Have her parents spoken to her and indoctrinated her into vegetarianism perchance?

It's not a given that it's healthier - the advent of meat replacement products has ensures vegetarians have just as much access to processed food as meat eaters!
Our diet is 100% cooked from scratch. I only use local free range meat, very rarely do I buy processed stuff. I make my own burgers/sausages/kievs etc so I know what is in them. We eat a wide variety of fruit and veg and the veg is local and seasonal. We aren't perfect, but we try our best!
Just like a vegetarian diet can be excellent, or can be terrible!

The only thing I disagree with is you said when he starts school you will tell them his veggie. Thats not giving him choice as many schools would then not allow him to try meat even if he wanted too.

Where as if they are just nothing they can pick what they want veggie or meat.

For the child to have choice they have to be able to pick either option not just be forced upon one option with the other being an asked for. So a restaurant picking his own meal he has choice you telling school his veggie he has no choice still.

Some meat eaters get absolutely ragingly furious at anybody who goes against their way of thinking, almost like by making a different choice you're questioning THEIR morality and ethics as a human being. It's probably cognitive dissonance at play.

In my experience, you will never win the argument. So it's probably best to diffuse diffuse diffuse "I'm not discussing this, he's MY child." "I'm not discussing this, he's MY child." And repeat.

Why does just about every vegetarian on here assume that eating meat means chicken nuggets and McDonald’s burgers?! Or say that the one time they let their child try meat it was something along those lines? (Unless they were deliberately trying to put the child off). Btw I’m not having a go at anyone raising their children veggie- fair enough - but this assumption is just frankly absurd.

I've replied upthread re religious indoctrination. 😬

Thank you for this reply! 100%

You think that OP should give her child meat just to make wider family relationships a bit easier? That's ridiculous! If having a vegetarian grand-child makes family relationships difficult, these relationships are not worth having.

Wow. What a sad viewpoint, that a partner would go with something simply for a quiet life, rather than because they respect the viewpoint of the other partner in an issue which has absolutely no effect on themselves. Quite insulting to OP too - implying she’s nagged him into it.

What is the same is tonight your child's diet in an attempt to avoid them having a specific liking for certain foods. Most of us do this for sweet things. Vegetarians and vegans do the same thing when it comes to meat. They don't want their child to like it so don't give it to them and prohibit others from giving it to them too.

That approach to parenthood isn't wrong. It's common. But you have to admit what you're doing. Sometimes when people feel that deep down, it isn't right, they struggle with owning their choice. They pretend it's just happening rather then something they've orchestrated.

Agreed.
We have amazing quality local meat where I live, and no McDs or the like!

What?

Yes, my children are glad that they’ve never eaten animals. They don’t need to have eaten them to feel that way. Are you seriously trying to tell my children how they can/can’t feel based on the ‘logic’ that you have to have tried things that are ‘legal and normal’ to know how you feel about it?

I'm on the fence here. I've been vegetarian for 35 years and it's a very healthy diet, as long as you're nutritionally aware, which it sounds like you are. I'm the only vegetarian in our household of five, but my partner and children are quite happy to eat vegetarian. I tend to cook separately, however, as after you've taken into account all the likes and dislikes, and one allergy, there's more overlap with some of the fairly basic meat dishes.
However, we never considered raising the kids vegetarian, taking the opposite view to you, that we would give them access to a full range of options, and if they wanted to cut things out later, then that would be their decision. I have occasionally been given meat by mistake, and my stomach has not reacted well at all, so I'd be concerned that approaching things the other way round might make for an uncomfortable transition, if they decided they wanted to eat meat later. I might be slightly unusual in that I don't have a problem with handling and cooking meat - other than lamb, as I can't stand the smell.
Two of my sons have had friends who were being raised strictly vegetarian, but who would make a beeline for meat at parties, or try to snaffle it off friends' plates. It made for a quite uncomfortable conversation with one parent after I was issued with the usual 'absolutely no meat under any circumstances' instruction before a party, and I had to say that they'd need to come and supervise in that case, as I wasn't enjoying the annual argument with a now ten year-old who was insisting that he was allowed ham on his pizza and that he always had it, no matter what his mum said!

Nobody should be trying to avoid theur child liking meat just because they disapprove though, that's the point. 😬