Family is against me for not feeding baby meat

[Foxtails]

Sorry if this has been brought up before, but could do with some advice please.

8 month old baby, stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. So far I have not fed anything with meat in it and do not plan to. I am vegetarian and have been for 8 years. DH is not veggie but does eat veggie meals in the house with me (his choice). For now, while my son has no way to make his own decisions, I won’t be feeding him meat. Once he is old enough to decide for himself, he can choose. We will always have vegetarian meals in the house but if he wants to eat it outside of the house that’s up to him and there will be no judgement from me.

It seems like absolutely none of my family members can accept this. My mum, dad, grandparents and also DHs parents have expressed to me how they think this is wrong. I have told them that as long as he is fed and is healthy then there really is no problem, and it’s up to me how I do this. It’s got to the point where it’s being brought up almost every time I see anyone because they are so so against it. I feel attacked. They are telling me not to force my views upon my child, but isn’t that what all parents do?! People parent their children how they think is best and in line with what they agree with. Everyone does this.

I am feeling upset and overwhelmed and feeling like i can’t go and see anyone without them starting this argument with me and I worry that they will feed him meat behind my back. Please could I have some advice on what to do and how to handle this? Has anyone been in this position?

My DC are older teens now and have never eaten meat, they're more than welcome to if ever they choose to but I won't cook it for them (I haven't eaten it since I was 15). Both of them are very healthy and always have been.

This is such a bizarre argument, 'I was cooked this so everyone else must be too'. I'm sure there are many foods you weren't introduced to. Did you eat silken tofu as a child? How about soy beans and seaweed? How about octopus and liver? Noone eats everything. People have the right to choose a diet for their child and countless cultures across the world show that you don't need meat and two veg to be healthy.

I just want to say that if anyone needs help with their child’s diet, do not see a nutritionist. See a dietician. Anyone can say they’re a nutritionist. Dieticians are very different and are regulated, unlike nutritionists, nutritional therapists etc.

I think that if the husband was more vocal and spoke of it as a joint decision that he agrees with, people wouldn't be acting the way they are.

Age 6 probably not for the simple reason that I have 4 kids and wouldn’t have the time to make sure that separate meals were nutritionally balanced. I would cut red meat out for them, though, and cut back on the amount of poultry (as it is, we only eat meat a couple of times a week). I’d put my foot down over fish though. Age 11? Sure, as long as in the days the rest are eating meat they sort themselves out.

*can no longer edit. regulated differently

I took the opposite approach with a child when I was vegetarian, and fed some meat until they could choose for themselves. Mainly chicken and fish.

It’s Your and DH decision not theirs. If you think they may feed him meat behind your back don’t leave him with them. If them being so vocal about this is a real issue for you see them less.
I’ll add as long as you are not giving them meat substitutes (as those are full of artificial cr*p) it’s all good as seems you have a good handle on DS getting well rounded nutrition.

I'm giving my experience, as others have. Nothing bizarre about that.

Just because you're suspicious about her husband having an opinion about it doesn't actually matter,

I've not mentioned the husband at all, and don't agree with posters that he wouldn't be on the same page as OP, are you confusing me with someone else?

Why does it matter how OP has worded her posts about when she will allow her child to have meat? It'll become a moot point when he's old enough to ask for it anyway.

Why will it become a moot point? OP isn't ever going to feed him meat, she said when he's old enough to want it, he can 'try' it with other people? I think that is the issue with the family to be fair.

This is what it says in her OP:

We will always have vegetarian meals in the house but if he wants to eat it outside of the house that’s up to him and there will be no judgement from me. It seems like absolutely none of my family members can accept this.

Op is saying if her son decides he is not vegetarian and wants to eat meat, she will never provide non vegetarian food for him, and her family disagree with that stand point.. I agree with her family in that regard (not to feeding a baby chicken though?!), it's like if a child became a vegetarian and the parent decided to feed them meat at every meal because that is what THEY believe in.. both are wrong IMO, children should be allowed a certain amount of autonomy outside of their parents beliefs.

I'd have been quite happy for dd to eat meat if she had decided she wanted it, but I wouldn't have cooked it for her at home. I wouldn't even know how!! But she would have been free to eat it in school every day, at other people's houses and in restaurants etc. Even the most committed meat eaters don't need to eat meat at every meal, and it probably wouldn't be very healthy anyway.

If dd had decided that she wanted to cook meat for herself as a teenager, I'm not sure what I would have done. Probably would have agreed reluctantly but I would have hated having it in the house.

In that case, I agree with the poster up thread that said that your responses are asinine.

They should spend less time posting judgmental comments on here and more time making curried goat and frogs legs for a toddler.

Yes I know that, it's just what I used to say to brush off judgey people!

Funny enough, toddlers from my partner's culture golf down curry goat.

I’m sure children will eat all sorts of varied foods when they’re introduced to them early. Yet, I wonder how many British children are exposed to that range.

Good for you. 🫣

can you please show me in my post where I said I would tell the school not to feed him meat? I said the exact opposite. I said I would tell them that I have raised him vegetarian up to this point so we will start off with veggie meals (as this is what he’s used to) but there’s no strict rule for it and if he would like to eat meat at school they are allowed to give it to him.

That is what I said. Stop making things up please

Wow, did that sound clever in your head? 🤢

As an aside, many of them toddlers are British. But yes, I think there is something to what you're saying but I'd say it's more of a white British thing than just a British or white thing. I think racism comes into it too.

I have a cousin who recoiled at my kids eating certain foods ("it's too spicy, it makes eating unpleasant") but happily feed their child things like Olives and feta which I'd argue have equally intense flavours.

Then why don't you be as open as this with your parents OP? yes you can tell them to start providing veg and also an option of non veg and see if he likes , he can eat. school doesn't start at 4. since you do not want to get meat into your house you can not offer. when school is allowed to offer him why not family outside?

It takes two to have an argument; don't have one. Tell them they've made their views known, you know what they think and you don't think there's anything to be gained from discussing it any more. If they try to carry on, say "I'm not going to discuss it" and nothing else, as many times as you need to. They'll get bored.

You’ve been unpleasant and goady to the OP throughout this thread over choosing a vegetarian diet for her baby. Parents make so many choices and yet, you’ve hammered at her about a dietary choice. It’s a vegetarian diet, she’s not forcing him crack cocaine. Poor @Foxtails has taken so much flack. I’m not veggie so I have no skin in this game, just cannot believe how hypocritical some parents are over this one issue.

Re school hopefully you have a better idea what you want by then. The school has many kids to cook for so your kid either has dietary restrictions or not.
‘Little Jonny got a veggie dish but he is interested in little Bob’s chicken so we will give him a chicken dish too’ realistically won’t work.