Family is against me for not feeding baby meat

[Foxtails]

Sorry if this has been brought up before, but could do with some advice please.

8 month old baby, stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. So far I have not fed anything with meat in it and do not plan to. I am vegetarian and have been for 8 years. DH is not veggie but does eat veggie meals in the house with me (his choice). For now, while my son has no way to make his own decisions, I won’t be feeding him meat. Once he is old enough to decide for himself, he can choose. We will always have vegetarian meals in the house but if he wants to eat it outside of the house that’s up to him and there will be no judgement from me.

It seems like absolutely none of my family members can accept this. My mum, dad, grandparents and also DHs parents have expressed to me how they think this is wrong. I have told them that as long as he is fed and is healthy then there really is no problem, and it’s up to me how I do this. It’s got to the point where it’s being brought up almost every time I see anyone because they are so so against it. I feel attacked. They are telling me not to force my views upon my child, but isn’t that what all parents do?! People parent their children how they think is best and in line with what they agree with. Everyone does this.

I am feeling upset and overwhelmed and feeling like i can’t go and see anyone without them starting this argument with me and I worry that they will feed him meat behind my back. Please could I have some advice on what to do and how to handle this? Has anyone been in this position?

I agree with you, and that poster is culturally blinkered. Meat might be a normal everyday food source to that poster, but to many people around the world as well as in the UK, it is not. It is not essential for a balanced diet.

I'd raise a child with the broadest diet between what their parents eat, so in this case occasional meat outside the home like his dad, but vegetarian at home.

DS had multiple food allergies and intolerances, so maximising on what he could eat that didn't make him ill was the priority in his early years. It turns out that he's autistic and quite sensory with foods, so meat has always played an important role in giving him the broadest range of food that's viable.

The healthiness of a diet is about the breadth and quality of the foods consumed within it. When out and about the choice is more limited, and the quality of vegetarian food has often declined as many veggie options have changed to ultra-processed vegan "plant based" not-food (i.e. You're telling me it's not chicken/cheese, but what actually is it???) At the DCs' primary school, the menu became a choice of meat based meal and vegan substitute of the same meal- usually quorn.

Many common substitutes to meat can trigger digestive issues.

While OP is living healthily on a vegetarian diet, there's no guarentee that it will be optimal for her child's nutritional/ digestive needs.

While lots of parents state that they're happy for their children to make their own choices when old enough, the reality is that many aren't. I still get pulled faces and comments about eating beef despite being an adult for 25 years after DM stopped eating it in the early 90s. They just hope that their children will continue the status quo because the original choice was right for them and can be surprised that their children chose differently.

The extended family are being disrespectful though.

I won't get into the meat eater/vegetarian debate as it's its been done to death. You simply grey rock your family. Everytime they comment or question you, you say 'my child, my choice'. Rinse and repeat as necessary.

I doubt it

That poster was not being serious!! It was tongue in cheek stuff. Pointing out the silliness of some people who eat meat view vegetarians.

@Silvers11 yep I'm able to read and understand .

Enjoyment of eating is about more than just the taste. I'm informed by people I trust that meat tastes fantastic but I would never enjoy eating it.

I have veggie children from birth, now adults and are tall, athletic and extremely healthy. I gave them lots of iron rich food, proteins etc and unfailingly a multi vitamin supplement every day ( I would do this regardless of diet) and they have had a great childhood of healthy living.

My parents said the same when they were babies and that they wouldn’t grow. DS now is 6ft 2 and was always the tallest child in the class. So don’t listen and do what is best for your family.

not funny to you but, alas, you are not the only person in this big wide world.

100% this. Nobody else gives a shit filling their kids with junk, but somehow omitting meat from their diet gives everyone concern.

This is your business and nobody else's. Your baby will be absolutely ok!

I mean if my family member did not feed there child meat, I would be a bit concerned.
Iron in Animal products are easier to digest than non animal products. (Heme iron vs non heme iron).
There are also some vitamins and minerals that are not in veggies.
People always taunt protein and say ooh but we eat veggies that are high in protein.
It's not the protein, it's the choline, the creatine, taurin, heme iron etc that a growing child will miss out on.
Historically the human species have been very dependent on animal products are there has not been ONE society throughout human history that did not eat animal products and meat.
So I mean yeah I wouldnt do this from a health perspective, but it's not my or your family's choice.
If I thought my family member was unaware of above-mentioned I would probably bring it up once, politely, but leave it at that.
I can't make her choices for her and there are probably equally as bad choices that parents make regularly. Feeding their kids tons of sugar and UPF, so being veggie is not the worst thing.
I would mention that diary and especially eggs (high in choline) do make up for the lack of meat in some way so I'd hope you would at least do that.
But yeah not their choice and the have to respect yours.

I would however say that you can't rally police what other people feed your kids in their own home. Unless it is an allergy, your child can choose to not eat it, but I don't think you can force someone to cook veggie on their own home.

Stop discussing it with them. You need to shut it down. not try to persuade them or allow them space to try to persuade you.

The most interesting part of the journey was when dc were old to understand what meat actually is, cut up baby animals, three quarters of their friends all became vegetarian as well, as they were so horrified. So we went from being the only ones to being one of many. By the time they got to uni many were vegan as well 🌱

Indoctrinated? That is such a loaded and inappropriate word. Her dad eats meat and her mum is vegan. They made an informed choice together. I support this but it would be irrelevant if I didn't. I'm not the parent so I have no say.

There are studies saying that meat for infants / toddlers improves intelligence and brain development. What about fish?

I don't eat very much meat myself but I make sure my children do (not every meal) as I think it's important for their development. I have looked into it.

For example, my mil cooks different to me and I can't police that. I will ask her not to feed the kids sweets etc and she tries her best but I can't police what and how she cooks.
For example if I buy peanut butter I buy added salt and sugar free. Mil does not. I'm not going to stop her feeding my kids a peanut butter sandwich and insists she buy the healthy kind even if I find it bonkers to give them that unnecessary sugar.
I think vegan 'sausage ' or meat is some of the most unhealthy, ultra processed food you can get. (Have you seen the ingredients?)
However if we are at a get together and that is what is served I'm not going to let my children go hungry. I'd grin and bear.

It's always so strange to me that the default is to give meat until they can choose. Most kids love animals and are distressed when they discover that meat is a dead animal. I know I was. I couldn't believe my parents would do that to me without my consent or awareness, knowing how much I loved animals. They actually used to lie to me about where it came from as they knew I'd be upset. I'm vegan and my partner is omnivore, we plan to raise kids on a well balanced vegan diet until they can make an educated decision for themselves, I.e with full knowledge of what is involved in raising animals for food.

What do you want to hear here OP?? If it doesn't matter to them you can always stay away from them. keep your baby away from all those. why you force others to identify your baby as vegitarian when he is not yet decided? I read one of my friend wrote on mothers day that her child said: 'I came through you, but not for you' . She was able to say that only because mom did not force her idiology on everyone in her relations and child have had the freedom to grew up with best of both world's choices'

What culture has ben vegetarian for centuries.? Sorry genuine questionas I can't think of one, but might be dim!

Meh, my dd's brain seems to have developed well enough without meat.

We brought up our kids as vegetarians from babies forty odd years ago. And they were healthy boys, who stayed vegetarian until they were old enough to decide for themselves. I think a vegetarian diet is a pretty healthy one, and frankly, it hasn't done me any harm, for someone who hasn't always treated his body like a temple 😀. When did you you last see a fat vegetarian? It's rare, to say the least.

You can't absolutely know you would never enjoy eating it, that's the point.
Anyway, eat what makes you feel healthy and happy, that's what I do!

My kids are 4 and 7 and have never eaten meat. They are happy, healthy and full of energy. I've had friends and coworkers comment that they don't think it's right and that I should let them make their own decisions. If they made their own decisions they would eat sweets all day! If they want to eat meat when they are older, they can, but while I am paying for it, they will eat the food I buy.

I remeber worrying about this when I was pregnant and asked my doctor if the baby would be lacking or if development would be adverselyimpacted by not eating meat. He asked me how long I had been vegetarian and I told him I had been vegetarian since i was 7 and he said "not dead yet then!" He went on to say that he was vegetarian, his mother was vegan and had never eaten meat in her life or fed it to him or his siblings as children. He said "I am a doctor, I'm 6ft, I speak 4 languages. I don't think a lack of meat when I was a child has negatively impacted my life".

Huge parts of India are traditionally vegetarian. No idea how far back that goes, but I imagine it's quite longstanding.

Funnily enough, the locals don't seem to have had any problems with their brain development.

Honestly, I don't like calling anyone fat, but yes I've seen plenty of overweight vegetarians and vegans. Anyone can eat too much and/or the wrong things.