To find this so cringeworthy?

[Bpuss]

(I realise using the word cringeworthy is a bit cringeworthy in itself, but here we are...)

Literally posting this so I don't end up telling him what I'm thinking!

I've been seeing a guy off and on for a year and he's a lovely person, but keeps coming out with things that just make me die a little inside.

The latest one is he went to the cinema with his friends last night to see Wicked.
He has this habit of messaging me after he's seen a film to let me know how he found it and the message last night read "It had greatest showman vibes, and the hallmarks of a classic". I almost, almost... replied with a bunch of laughy faces and told him to stop talking like a dick but I thought I should try and be kind so I just said something about being glad he likes it.

But I've never heard anyone in real life use the phrase "hallmarks of a classic" to describe a film, let alone something like Wicked?!

He also uses the word belly for his stomach...

I like him, but omg I cringe so hard sometimes at his choice of words!

You know it makes you cringe. You have been seeing him for a year and you’re not comfortable enough to tell him that / giggle about it kindly with him.

You know in your gut that he’s not for you. What are you looking for here? Enough validation from other people that he’s ‘cringy’ to dump him - or that he’s ’cute and you should keep him’ and you’ll deign to put up with him?

he is not for you. Find someone that you feel able to be honest with.

YABU re his use of language, it’s fine but I don’t think you are compatible.

So it is an opinion then? Based on 1989’s stereotypes. Not all opinions are valid

Its nearly 2025 I’d be embarrassed to admit that I assume men who watch musicals must be gay.

Dont complain about sexism if this is the fact you take

You need someone more chavvy I think. Someone who thinks a belly is a stomach.

That’s not a ‘dangerous opinion’ - it’s an opinion based on the evidence of observing majority behaviour.

So you've observed your family's response to this film and decided its correct? So... anecdote?

The men in my family would happily accompany my dds, and might even enjoy it, but a film about teenage witches isn’t really priority viewing for most blokes. And any guy actively seeking to watch this I would assume would be gay. Or young. Or accompanying a child.

So now it's most blokes?

I’d have zero problem with that, but you have the ick, so let him go.

@EvilsElsasPetSnowman Exactly this

A lot of the "blokes" I know are excited by the fact Jeff Goldblum is in it.

Sounds like a pompous twit with "hallmarks of a classic". I think "belly" is just the word some families use, though.

‘Hallmarks of a classic’? What are those then, and how do they apply to this film specifically?

Yeah, no. I hate meaningless waffle that’s is intended to big up the speaker.

Seriously though, it may simply be that he has low self esteem and isn’t confident saying what he meant in case he was judged for it (which we are all doing here, so would understand that…)

Sounds like a problem with you rather than him. Cut him loose so you can both find people more suited to you.

He sounds too educated for you, OP.

Set him free.

Yes, that's the issue! It's like he's literally copied and pasted from a film review or something.

I'm all for an expressive vocabulary; I know a fair few words myself ;) but he has a strange, almost robotic way of wording most things.

Maybe he is just trying hard. Wish he wouldn't, though. I've told him not to 'try' and impress me as there's no need...

As for going to see Wicked, there's a group of his mates (all early 40s) with cinema passes so go and see most things. As a mother I always find it a bit strange to see a group of adults watching U film but I've learnt to quash that particular ick but it in no way made me think he's gay or shouldn't be watching the film 'as a man'.

I'm trying to work out whether these things bother me enough to still be an issue if we ended up living together...

I'd just think he has a crap taste in films or is a little pretentious tbh, you can be intelligent and not sound like a movie reviewer 😂

You see, I don’t think this is too bad but I think what has happened here is you’ve already got ‘The Ick’ with him and pretty much anything he says or does will drive you insane.
If my DH text me that I’d be like ‘ok, calm down Barry Norman’ but it would make me laugh.

I had a bf once (I was 17) who wore these really gross shoes on a date. I couldn’t get past them. Lovely guy, got ‘The Ick’ and he had to go.

I think it might be the start of the end OP 🙈🙈

He is probably more articulate than the OP, and deserves somebody of similar verbal ability.

I'll take belly over tummy any day of the week.

Nothing wrong with “belly”. If you’d said “tummy” I’d have a different view. Something about a grown man saying tummy when not talking to a baby/ toddler gives me the ick.

Sadly, I think we are regressing back to 1989, actually, with these views. And this is all conditioning, from birth. Girls get bought baby dolls with a push chair, toy kitchen, etc and told that only girls wear pink. Boys are bought toy trucks, cars, action heroes and toy guns and told only boys wear blue. So of course, everyone then grows up and believes that alpha men are too butch and to watch films like Wicked or Barbie.

What would you have preferred him to say? "That film had sick vibez, I thought it was mint."

Poor bloke. It was a bit clichéd and he might not make it on to the pages of Empire anytime soon, but he seems alright to me.

@Bpuss Wicked isn't a U certificate. It's PG.
Apparently the stage version isn't recommended for under 7s. The book is for adults.
Conclusion..... a bunch of blokes going to see Wicked is..... normal 🤔

I’m going to hazard a guess that the Venn diagram of disrespectful men who think chores and parenting are a woman’s job but expect a shag every night, and the men who think going to see Wicked isn’t manly, is a circle. I know which one I’d rather date.

I've seen his previous wedding speech and it also made me cringe! :(

Every other word was "umm" and it was so wooden and forced, with a joke where everyone looked confused afterwards and sat in silence. Not even a polite giggle. Could be seen as quite rude of the guests obviously but I think they genuinely didn't understand it was meant to be a joke (it was about herding cats).

I really like him, but his idiosyncrasies are just a bit...well basically he reminds me of the class geek at school. And I was the class 'girl geek' so why does it bother me?!

I'm also autistic so I wonder why I can't accept his little quirks when I have a bunch myself?

Objectively there is nothing wrong with what he said, if it's caused this much of a reaction then you probably don't like him very much.

Your assessment of his wedding speech made me sad, the poor guy! Let him go so he can date someone who is nicer about him.

I don’t think you do like him OP and it’s time to let you both move on