To request no more photos are taken of me?

[mrlistersgelfbride]

I'm almost 40.
I've aged terribly over the last 18 months or so.
It's so depressing seeing photos of myself that others have taken I'm actually having a little cry tonight because of it.

My under eyes are all wrinkly and puffy and my eyes are sunken. One side of my face seems to have drooped a little too!
I've always had a very large nose, I meant to get surgery when I was young but I never did and it never put men off when I was young which surprised me. ..and now I have DD I'd rather spend the money on something else.

But quite often friends take photos of me and post them online. And over the last year the photos of me have been hideous!
I've seen a few different groups of friends over the weekend and a couple of group photos where taken.
I look dreadful. My friends are similar age but I'm definitely the ugly duckling. They haven't aged hardly at all.
I'm only a 10-12 and I look terribly dumpy and fat. Some of my friends are an 18 and they don't look fat.
What's the secret? Day dresses? I usually wear tops jumpers and jeans or trousers.
I've asked friends to delete the photos, as I've done in the past, but they haven't and often say 'oh you look fine'. And leave them on social media.

Also my boss sometimes takes photos for work and I look awful then and I dread it too!

Can I request that no one takes my photo again? How? Has anyone done this? I'm actually thinking of not going out socially for a while because of it.

I'm saving for Botox but it's expensive.
I'm a kind funny person and I'd rather be known for that. I'm happy not having to look at myself!

And by the way I do the usual, have a healthy diet, exercise and drink water. I try to get sleep but I often wake up naturally after 6 hours.
Always been like that.
I probably do look permanently tired.

Is there anything I can do?

Sorry this is a very garbled post. Thanks if you read to the end!

First things first.
I would go to your GP and check out the mild droop to your face. Just to make sure there is no neurology going on. Sometimes there can be tiny almost imperceptible strokes going on. It may well not be that but since you're aware of the change in your face you should exclude it.
The only thing I have read that might impact your appearance is sleep levels and maybe stress levels/ water intake. We are conditioned to believe that we can sustain doing more more more by society. But we cannot without paying the price. My suggestion would be to break the cycle. Don't drive yourself into the ground and prioritise sleep.
Read this book: Why We Sleep by Mathew Walker. It will revolutionise your attitude to sleep. It will also change your appearance.

Whilst we can't change our given anatomy we can help ourselves by being well hydrated and ensuring enough sleep is taken. Now, as for face book photos, real friends will want to help with that. Let's just hope they listen to you. Blur your face at least. Otherwise just offer to take the photo rather than be in it? Remember that face book is a fashionable convention that many are drawn to and slightly addicted to. It's designed that way. Nothing wrong with moving away from it entirely if that's what you want. I have and I live my life without it. I realise how much ive been missing. I don't need the approval of Facebook in order to be, I don't need the myth of it in my life. It's an illusion.Same for everyone.

Now as for the botox I'd say don't. Use the money for something more personally enjoyable. We all age. Everybody who uses botox looks like they do. Its not an improved look, slighltly swollen surgicalized faces everywhere. It's not a good look. We're meant to age, but again society has conditioned us (particularly women) to believe that we are not valued unless we're on the slippery slope of multiple interventions. It's that fact that's wrong not you.

Build in two other things instead. 1. A daily walk to boost you're circulation of at least 15 mins to half an hour. If you can do it at dawn it's a magical experience. Do it at night there are a whole other set of other benefits, foxes, owls and hedge hogs. To hear and to see. I'm not saying wander round in the dark alone, I meet a friend after tea walk and chat for half an hour then go home, draws a refreshing line under the day and the boost to circulation/digestion is great. Many cultures do this routinely.
2.Add in cycling or swimming, just quietly do them and experience the benefit. I don't mean marathons either. Just a half hour swim/cycle to begin with, twice a week.
So we've very added in two things.

Moderate/eliminate two others, smoking and alcohol. If you don't smoke that's fab. If you do cut it out entirely, there's loads of help out there to do it. The effect on your circulation is quite literally horrifying and entirely responsible for premature ageing. The other is alcohol and or recreational drug use. Sugar ingestion of a high level is not helpful to our mood either. Alchol is full of sugar and very dehydrating to your skin.

The final thing to use as your mantra is "I release my self from the drudgery of trying to labour under the unreasonable expectations of others. (SOCIETY, MAGAZINES, THE MEDIA, ADVERTISING) I am a worthwhile and lovable person in my own right exactly the way I am, I AM REAL".

I'm sorry that you feel bad about all of this. I'm confident you will feel better in time. Give yourself the time to work with you. There are some exciting developments ahead. The most life changing will be working on sleep. I wish you the very best with all of this. Have a great day.

I agree, if your face is drooping a visit to the GP is needed.

My godmother always said that the best looking people take the worst photos 🤣.

Seriously though I feel your pain, I was always told that I looked younger than my age. Over the past couple of (very stressful) years I've really aged and I feel depressed about it. I know that looks are not important but it still stings. I have pulled myself out of it (mostly) by concentrating on my more positive qualities.

If you don't want people uploading your photos on FB you can set up verification of photos with your image so they can't upload them without your permission. Can't remember the term but I think it's under the security settings.

Please don't.
Those that love you love photos of you.
My step mum felt just like you, she died last year and I barely have any photos of her from the last 20yrs and only have 1 of us together that was taken 30yrs ago and it made her death so much harder for me.

Sending hugs x