Neighbours should not look into my home?

[Happygonotlucky]

We have huge glass doors in our back extension. We got them to allow us to enjoy the view. My husband thinks we should have curtains as our neighbours can see into our kitchen/diner/family room, especially when lights are on in the evening, when they are outside in their gardens. He feels exposed/vulnerable to being watched.

I feel our neighbours should do the right thing and not stare into our home. Am I being unreasonable to not buy curtains for privacy and expect neighbours to do the right thing. One of our neighbours is a bit unfriendly and from time to time we have seen her staring and analysing our house.

Do you have curtain treatment for your glass doors? Do you care if your neighbours can see you living your life in your home? Do you think they should just do the right and polite thing and not stare and analyse what you have and are doing?

Just get blinds. We have them on our huge bifold doors.

No one can see in, often we keep them open, but now it's cold we pull them down every day when it gets dark, it keeps the heat in. Plus, pull down to shade the sun out of our eyes. And to keep the room cool in summer

I think I live quite near you @shakespearetower 😊

I'm on a high floor in a modern block with large (floor to ceiling) windows and the kitchen ones face straight across to the office block over the road which is pretty much all glass.

The people there sit with their backs to the windows but if they're walking around I daresay they can see me bobbling about making lunch and having a little dance to the radio, just as I can see them. I don't use blinds (although I do have blackout curtains in my bedroom or I'd never get any sleep) and I doubt anybody there is that interested.

I've never seen anyone obviously staring though, but I wouldn't really care. I do sometimes wave at the cleaners in the evening

Can you plant an evergreen blocking their view for a longer term solution. Sometimes you don't need it to be too high to block their view if it is near enough to them. I personally would get someone to install a curtain rail and make my own curtains. Or can you buy any 'off the shelf'? Or for a more moveable, temporary solution what about a folding room divider? Again careful positioning should screen the view from nosey neighbour.

You can't stop them looking but you can stop them seeing.

Thanks for the tip @Bellie710 . I will give them a call tomorrow.

I don't think I am being unreasonable in my expectations to have privacy without having to take measures to block people's view into my home. I do not mind a passing glance, it is the staring potentially with resentful intentions that concerns me. Perhaps you've never had neighbours who are spoiling for a fight of some sort. By the way, given how things are laid out in terms of positioning of the houses, no way is the lighting in our extension causing them any bother. One would have to intentionally seek to be bothered by the light emanating from the extension.

Thanks. I have thought about room dividers but can't find half-height ones. The expanse of the doors measures about 9 metres. Ideas for any temporary, movable solutions are welcomed.

Firstly because I like maximum natural light & any window dressing options obscure natural light (in my particular situation).

on the ground floor a few people walk past the front (lounge/kitchen) window & mostly only the neighbours (and postie/visitors neighbours have/deliveries) it's not a busy place, with lots of strangers passing by.

so no, I don't care about people catching a sighting of my decor (most of them have been inside my home or if not, would be welcome to come in if the situation arose) or me doing the dishes, watching tv, chatting on my phone or whatever.

another issue is that I have the most annoying windows, they're wide (an opening one each side, an opening one along the top of a large non opening window) & they're high up near the ceiling, there's a radiator on the wall underneath & not enough room either side to have curtains that wouldn't cover part of the window up. Plus I hate short curtains in the lounge ( looks bedroomy to me) Blinds would have to be a single piece (3 separate ones wouldn't work) and closed they'd block lot of light. Same with romans....

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

That's such a strange direction for your mind to take.

I live in the US in an area where front yards are not deep at all (2-3 yards at most to the sidewalk) and people generally don't have curtains. At most they have mini blinds or voile. People don't stare in or even look in. Americans for the most part mind their own business and do not live their lives worrying about "people seeing them".

You might not need the whole expanse though, just in that direction. Try one of you standing in the general area where they stand (on your side of boundary) and you should be able to see the area you need to cover for enough privacy.

LOL. 😆

Window-dressings just covers voiles, curtains & all the various forms of blinds.

🔫 🔫🔫

I would have curtains / blinds/ film for privacy reasons, curtains/ blinds foe hear reasons but also for when I am out so potential burglars can't see in.

@Happygonotlucky Also wouldn't having curtains defeat the purpose of being able to enjoy the view? Fair enough in the evening that is not the case but during the day, are we to keep our curtains closed to avoid the neighbours analysing our home.

... You keep the curtains open during the day, and close them at night time...

During the day, you keep the curtains open so you can enjoy the view. As the lights in your house are off, it's more difficult for the neighbours to see in.

At night time, you turn the lights on, which makes it easy for the neighbours to see everything. You can't enjoy the view at night time either (which is due to a combination of it being dark, and only seeing your own reflection on the window when the light is on), so this is when you close the curtain.

Hi OP. We just got an extension with bi fold doors and bought 3 sets of black blinds from dunelm (2 wider ones to cover 2 of the panels a piece) and 1 shorter one for the door panel and it was £79 total. They look fine and work great. 🙂

What do you mean by resentful intentions?

you ARE being unreasonable expecting privacy when you build a goldfish tank.

Just keep waving at them. Are they pissed off you had an extension?

I don't mind them looking in, it'll save them the bother of breaking in & me the hassle repairing any damage!! 🤪🤪

Going out into their garden in order to stare into your home is really impolite, especially when you’re home. But there is nothing you can do about it except block their view.

This is the case whether or not you have massive windows. People aren’t obliged to give you privacy just because you want it, you need to create it. And you do that by cutting off the view.

Not RTFT but for me, if you dont want me to have a gawp then close the curtains!

Walking in the dark in winter, if you leave the big light on and the curtains open, hell yes I will look and I will judge you for, including but not limited to, the following....

the size of your TV
If its wall mounted above the fire place (or where that would be)
Your decor
Your choice of soft furnishings
The state of your lounge

I might stay longer or walk slower if you are having a row.

In short, expecting other people to "do the right thing" assumes that they hold the same meaning of what "the right thing" is to you. Get some curtains. You cant see the view in the dark anyway, so whats the problem? Its bothering your husband and presumably you love him more than you love seeing a pitch black garden?

I think it depends. If your extension is in your next door neighbours line of sight from their window (ie 45 degrees or more from one of their windows), your architect should have advised you against it. Same goes if they are facing on to your garden. It's not their fault you didn't give them any thought when you put your design together. Where are they supposed to look when you are luxuraiting in your views?

If they have to go in their garden for a gawp or hang out the window you are not being unreasonable.

Oh Lordy, I’d hate that of a night time, with the lights on, I hate the thought of people being able to see me but unable to see them. Anyone could be standing outside in the dark watching 🤢

Do you mind sharing a photo?

🤣

It depends.

If they are climbing their side of the fence to gawp into your extension, then YANBU.

If they are just sitting out enjoying their garden, then YABU. Presumably you can see them too? YOU are the ones who have infringed THEIR privacy by building a glass box overlooking them. They shouldn't have to avert their eyes while enjoying their garden in a normal way. If I were them, I would have put up some rather rude posters on a billboard to block YOUR view.

Another point worth clarifying, the glass extension was always there. We simply rebuilt it because the foundation was unstable. To be clear, we have not increased on what was there before. Apologies I should have made that clearer before. Originally there was a glass extension with glass on almost all around apart from the attached side (it is a semi-detached). We now only have glass on one side back facing and now nothing on the sides of the extension.