to think boarding schools are no longer ok...

[BaklavaRocks]

Inspired by another thread, and some old YouTube documentaries I've recently watched, I can't help but feel boarding schools for under 13's (i.e. boarding prep schools) have had their time.

Maybe they used to be an acceptable option, but with all the research we now have available, showing the damage done by separation of young children from their parents, do you think boarding for v young kids (8/9/10/11) will eventually be banned except in v exceptional circumstances?

And if our politicians including past PMs like Johnson and Cameron were not a product of boarding schools, do you think they'd have more compassion and be less cut off from emotion and feelings? and better able to relate to us common folk?

@StandingSideBySide You have misread my comment. Some of the articles shared show that signs of sexual abuse were ignored by some school staff. That is a matter of public record.
I am sure the parents had no idea.
But children in boarding are very vulnerable to sexual abuse.

Wouldn't that be a safeguarding concern renting out school facilities for adults to use?

This isn't about state Vs private. It's about boarding Vs day (my children go to private school). There are state boarding schools too

My children are privately educated. This is about the specific risks of boarding school. You can't make this state v private as there are boarding schools in both sectors

Unfortunately the conversation derailed into a bashing fest about abuse in private schools whilst ignoring all other types of schools.
Its now continuing to derail on other issues not related either

Agree there are both state and private boarding schools. I personally know little about state boarding so I can’t comment on that. It would be interesting if any MNs have any actual experience of them though ….. I’m aware of some in Scotland serving kids who live on the islands that’s about all really

It's not a "bashing fest" to talk about things that actually happened no matter how uncomfortable it makes people feel. A quick Google shows a devastating number of abuse convictions related to boarding schools. And that's just the cases that didn't get hushed away by hefty NDAs.

No doubt there are issues in other sectors too, but this was a thread about boarding schools and some reasons parents may be reluctant to use them. It's not derailing a thread about boarding schools to , you know, talk about boarding schools.

If it makes you feel that uncomfortable you might want to ask yourself why.

You will also notice others have raised the subject of nurseries. They are not boarding schools either. Conversations progresses, it happens.
As this is about boarding schools which educate children I think there is still a connection to alternatives available.

As long as their are no insults….either way

I can't see anyone has been insulting?

But it is interesting to wonder why people find this topic uncomfortable.

If you read back over posts suggesting parents chose schools irrespective of abuse. !!!
That’s is a truly horrible thing to suggest.
To suggest that parents don’t care about their children.

If those sort of accusations are deemed alright to make then really I think anyone that doesn’t feel uncomfortable by them should ask themselves why !
Obviously !

An interesting article https://www.leighday.co.uk/news/blog/2022-blogs/sexual-abuse-in-boarding-schools-change-is-urgently-needed/

Just cross posted with you. I didn't see that article

I don't think people choose the schools "irrespective" but I do worry that people take a "couldnt happen here" approach whereas the reality, as you correctly state, is that it can happen anywhere and I wouldn't trust a school that claimed it couldn't.

I don't agree with the removal of charitable status from these schools but I would like to see a much more honest and open conversation about the risks (one that doesn't segue into whataboutery)

NO ONE has said that!! How dare you suggest that.

Boarding has its place i think, and in some cases like my husbands and his brothers, there was no other option. Would i send my own children? No, but then our circumstances are not as necessary as his was.

You can’t see because one of them is your own post.
Read that from the perspective of a parent using the system

‘once they’ve made the decision they’d rather not think about the risks ‘etc

See my last post

You've misunderstood. I am saying people ostrich about it not that they know it happens and don't care.

That is my post. And I clarified tagging you in saying I was talking about school staff covering up and that articles have been posted by others where that has happened.
The fact that you have ignored what I said and made something else up suggests you are not discussing this issue in good faith.

I care about any child being sexually abused. We know paedophiles flock to places where children are. And a place where children bathe, change and sleep over night without their parents there is an obvious place for paedophiles to target.

Agree no school is immune!
All parents can do is ensure they chose a school that fits their circumstances and their child’s needs and for those boarding they are happy all safe guarding issues are in place and their kids have a comfortable environment to call their home during term time.

With the best will in the world no one can know something might happen in any situation, look at babies killed in hospitals and nurseries. We haven’t all stopped using hospitals and nurseries though.

I attended a state boarding school. Also have experience of private boarding schools.

The state one was pretty much exactly the same - just cheaper and slightly less glamorous facilities. It was full boarding for boarders when I was there, long holidays, exeats every 3 weeks. About 50/50 day/boarding.

We had Saturday morning school, Saturday afternoons were sports matches. Saturday evenings we had an entertainment programme and day kids were welcome to join. Sundays were either homework and relaxation, or there were trips you could sign up for - ice skating, theme parks, orienteering, treasure hunts, inter-house competitions, trips to the beach, National Trust etc.

School very much ran to the boarders' schedule, and a large percentage of the day kids chose to stay late and come in most weekends (they had Saturday school anyway).

Yes when ours were day pupils they could stay at school for evening events/ lectures/ sports / hobbies or to do prep in their day houses. The day houses closed at 9pm unless there was a later event. They could also have breakfast and evening meals at school if they wanted and of course day houses had kitchens for snacks too.
All very much in line with the boarders schedule, just like yours.
Moving on to boarding wasn’t such a big difference in terms of routine, except for that early morning Sunday wake-up 🤣 which didn’t go down well.

I can't. He's been dead for nearly a quarter of a century.

Not if they’re offsite. And even if they’re onsite then it’s pretty straightforward to put suitable controls in place during term time.

It's perfectly logical that stories about abuse in private schools are covered up. The same way they're covered up by celebrities, politicians etc (though do often end up coming out - just not at the time). It's called MONEY. And yes I do know for a fact that private schools keep these things very, very quiet. That's not in any way saying they collude or condone - but they don't allow it to become public knowledge after the fact to save their reputation and - yep - marketability.

State schools do not IME allow this. Renting of sports facilities is only allowed when the school is closed after hours. Obviously in a boarding school the school is not closed in the evenings and weekends. Sounds like safeguarding is still lax inm comparison to state schools.