To not take DD to birthday party today

[Whoosher]

DD6 is invited to her friends birthday party today. It’s a craft party at a venue.

DD and friend are in the same class at school and half the class is invited. They also attend the same dance class every Sunday. Friend’s mom text in the dance group today saying friend was poorly with sickness so won’t be coming to class, this was about 10am

anyway, party is still on.. and she hasn’t told any of the other parents that the birthday child is sick. I don’t want to take DD now, as I don’t want to risk her getting poorly and passing it to the whole family, we had a sickness bug a month ago and it was horrible.

AIBU to say to the mom that she won’t be attending due to her child being ill?

also, should I warn the other parents? Two of whom are my close friends.

The annoying thing is, the bug will probably have been passed round the kids who attended, and will be passed to your daughter at school anyway - so all that's happened is that your daughter has missed out on a party.

It's disgusting of her to still allow the party to go ahead.

That mum is me, my DD does dance class , swimming , music lessons etc at the weekend and I told all fo them she was 'sick on' her birthday weekend.

Its silly , and stupid I know, but some people (like me) are way too polite to say to a dance teacher, swim school or music teacher, 'we can't be asked to come today / for you to come round, its her birthday weekend and we're busy prepping for it' so we lie instead and say DD is sick.

My gut tells me Mum has lied to dance teacher and got herself in a bind. Party Mum should have texted the dance teacher one to one if she was lying, doing it in a group, she can't be surprised if others in that group would assume the party is off and if it isn't, it sounds dodgy

It's not her business if the party is rescheduled or canceled.

I do hope it goes well and everyone has a great time. (and no one catches the vile stomach bug)

You could say she felt a bit ropy/was tired rather than saying she was up all night vomiting.

Are you going to keep your DC off school tomorrow OP? I would. And I'd tell the school why.

I do not handle vomit well at all (pretty severe emetophobia) and do everything I can do avoid my DC catching a sickness bug, but I don't think this is reasonable (unless there are underlying conditions that would make catching a bug particularly dangerous). For starters, this girl has probably spread her vomiting bug to half the class at this party, so unless you'd keep your child off all week I don't think you can avoid contact.

I wouldn't have gone to the party and think the mum is very selfish. And I hate people who ignore the 48 hours rule. But there's only so far you can go in avoiding bugs.

I think its reasonable and I don't care if it's unauthorised. One day should be enough for all the kids in the class who've caught it to start spewing and be off

Sadly not surprised that the parent has been exceedingly selfish. Catching stuff at school is unfortunate, but knowingly having a party when your child is highly contagious and not telling the other parents so they can make an informed choice is gross. DS had to have a party cancelled because he was in hospital one year, he was sad and we lost money; but he gave the party bags out to those due to attend when he was home and got over it. I know some will say it's just a sickness bug ffs but then why wouldn't she just tell the other parents? Because she knows most people do their best to avoid them, and even worse for some children it can make them very poorly.

Wasn’t this a plot in Motherland? Ivy was sick, but Julia carried on with the party regardless?

I hate people that do this....dont think about others and how awful the sickness bug is! I would be furious at the parents if they knowingly had a party when their dc was up all night being. Also hate when parents send sick kids to school spreading the germs to everyone else. I think you did the right thing pulling out of the party. Why risk it?

That's not polite 😂

spoke to friend who went to the party (I told her about the illness because the plan was for me to leave DD there with her so had to explain why we weren’t going) she chose to still go which is fine. She said birthday girl was very quiet and clung to her mom most of the party. So from that I gather she was definitely sick, it wasn’t a lie to get out of dance.

shocking behaviour imo, I feel very sorry for poor birthday girl she clearly wasn’t feeling up to it. let's hope all these kids don’t come down with sickness bugs now and pass them to family/friends etc

thanks for your inputs!

I do hope you mention to the teacher at drop off tomorrow morning. As a previous poster said I suspect given her lack of care towards the party guests this mum seems like exactly the type who will send her poor kid into school tomorrow.

When I lied and said my DD is sick to dance teacher, even though I've pre-paid for the term lessons, I knew she would be pissed off.

So guilty, it wasn't being polite, it was sheer cowardice!!

This 👆