To not take DD to birthday party today

[Whoosher]

DD6 is invited to her friends birthday party today. It’s a craft party at a venue.

DD and friend are in the same class at school and half the class is invited. They also attend the same dance class every Sunday. Friend’s mom text in the dance group today saying friend was poorly with sickness so won’t be coming to class, this was about 10am

anyway, party is still on.. and she hasn’t told any of the other parents that the birthday child is sick. I don’t want to take DD now, as I don’t want to risk her getting poorly and passing it to the whole family, we had a sickness bug a month ago and it was horrible.

AIBU to say to the mom that she won’t be attending due to her child being ill?

also, should I warn the other parents? Two of whom are my close friends.

Have read all your posts. Tough one. It must be awful for the poor girl to cancel her party if she’s ill. And it may not be a bug. She may have vomited due to excitement or anxiety about the party.

But, especially as you’re a lone parent, I totally understand your fear of you all coming down with a bug, especially with Xmas coming up.

Could your DD go but you tell her not to get too close to the birthday girl or anyone else? I think it’s fine to warn your close friends.

Glad I’m not the only one who thinks this is wrong! I replied and said I’m really sorry but DD won’t be attending as I can’t risk having the house infected with another sickness bug, said I hope birthday girl feels better soon.

all I got in reply was “oh okay” so she’s clearly miffed!

Parents like this lady annoy me! I remember being a child and having to have my party at McDonalds cancelled due to me being ill. Yes, I was disappointed, but it’s life!

Good on you pulling out and saying why.

The birthday girl's mum sounds ridiculous to still go ahead with it all.

The mum shouldn’t be upset with you. It’s perfectly understandable.

Maybe invite the birthday girl to your place, or for a treat out somewhere, when she’s better, so she knows you care about her.

You did the right thing, I'd take the present into school for the kid so they don't miss out but I wouldn't have risked it either

Being miffed is nothing compared to the reactions from the other parents, when they realise that the birthday girl has been throwing up all night.

Good for you @Whoosher I would have done exactly the same thing xx

DD was at a party last weekend where a guest (another school friend) turned up at the party after being off school on the Friday with vomiting. She then continued to vomit (twice) at the party before her parent got some sense and took her home 🙄

My poor BIL works his backside of to give her what she never grew up with Are you suggesting she “married above her station”?

Yeah I wouldn't be deliberately exposing my child to a sickness bug either!

I had to cancel a kid's birthday party due to covid once, literally the day of the party so lost money on the hall booking, bouncy castle, entertainer etc but I couldn't knowingly infect anyone.

You did the right thing... message her to say that you will drop the present round.

And maybe.... offer a play date when birthday girl is feeling better... but that might be outside of your bother zonemb

A friend brought her 10 year old to a christening with chicken pox and told him to sit in the corner as she thought he would be safe there. Three weeks later the baby, plus my 3 month old son contracted chicken pox. Quite badly.

Other children at the party may well catch it and not realise before going to school tomorrow- so your child is probably going to get ill anyway.

It maybe that she lying, a sick day is the easiest white lie.

It also might be that her daughter has a non contagious sickness, my DS has gastritis often set off by acid food exposure (most commonly occures during the night/early morning by noon he is fine) and motion sickness due to his disability effecting balance perception.

He can be violently sick and then an hour later be perfectly fine, neither are remotely contagious to others though.

People who don’t follow the 48 hour rule really annoy me. I always do and I feel like we’re in the minority. Or those who say, oh I’m sure it was just something they ate or they coughed too hard and were sick. I know it annoying having to have them at home for a couple of days, but stop being so bloody selfish and passing on nasty bugs when it could be avoided! Now you’ve had to make the decision to not take your child to the party when it should have been her making the decision to cancel it.

Have you read the OPs updates? The child has been awake all night being sick. She's clearly unwell, but despite this the mother is going ahead with the party and hasn't informed the other guests.

You are aware disabilities exist right, many of which cause nausea and vomiting.

Just like not everyone that coughs have cold.

Problem is that if other kids are attending from the same school class, they likely to pick it up at the party and bring it to school and pass it on regardless to your dd.

One of my son's friends was dropped off at my DS's birthday party and was very quiet, sat in the corner most of the time. Turns out he had been sick all morning, and so my poor DS spent his actual birthday with norovirus. A big thanks to those parents!

Yes I am aware, but I’m not talking about children with disabilities or conditions that cause them to be sick.