To not take DD to birthday party today

[Whoosher]

DD6 is invited to her friends birthday party today. It’s a craft party at a venue.

DD and friend are in the same class at school and half the class is invited. They also attend the same dance class every Sunday. Friend’s mom text in the dance group today saying friend was poorly with sickness so won’t be coming to class, this was about 10am

anyway, party is still on.. and she hasn’t told any of the other parents that the birthday child is sick. I don’t want to take DD now, as I don’t want to risk her getting poorly and passing it to the whole family, we had a sickness bug a month ago and it was horrible.

AIBU to say to the mom that she won’t be attending due to her child being ill?

also, should I warn the other parents? Two of whom are my close friends.

I’ve definitely experienced some that are but OP has verified this isn’t one of them.

(I’d also misread that the class was yesterday and now reread that it was today).

This sounds like the most sensible option.

Who do you think you are It isn't OPs place to demand that the other mum contact the venue of her own child's party and reschedules it.

OP - you say another child in the same class was ill with it in the past few days. Now this child is. Seems like your DC has already been exposed either way so personally I'd just go with it at this point.

I wouldn't go if she was up being sick all night. I know the mum will have paid a deposit but poor kid - I doubt she'll enjoy her party either! Even if she's perked up a bit I'd bet some excitement and party food will have her throwing up by the end of the party

Seriously? You can't demand someone reschedules.

Good grief. Asking isn’t demanding! there are ways to communicate that are polite but letting the mum know where your thoughts are. No one wants a situation of birthday girl sat alone with no one showing up to the party. Making assumptions and decisions without communicating honestly and openly causes this to happen and that isn’t something a child will forget the rest of their life.

So rude

You’re right in saying that DD will have potentially already been exposed to it, but I feel that knowingly exposing her to it in a small space (venue is very small, one room half the size of a classroom) is a bit silly?

I have a 2yo at home and a 9yo, and I’m on my own with them, so them all getting sick is something I want to avoid if I can

Just don’t want to come across as rude!

I would check if it's a sickness bug and if it defo is then no I wouldn't go. But they are my worst nightmare so I never risk it.

Asking isn’t demanding. Demands are what terrorists deliver to release hostages. Asking is a polite request that someone can consider and accept or decline.

Sounds sensible.

You'd hope she'd cancel to be honest if for no other reason than what child when they've spent all night being sick wants to put on a brace face and go to a party. Her poor daughter I'm sure would much rather be lying on the sofa watching TV.

Framing my advice to have a chat and ask if a reschedule wouldn’t be wise as a demand is what is rude.

If you don't want to come over as rude just tell her your DD is unwell. If there's a bug going around it won't seem odd.

This new thing of parties going ahead when children are unwell is really annoying. Twice recently one of mine has rocked up to a party and the birthday children have been obviously unwell. One had his granny basically following him about with a sick bucket. It's very out of order not to give people a proper honest heads up

It's the day of the party. If she reschedules the venue aren't going to go oh sure..she'll have to pay twice. It's rude to ask someone to do that.

I think she's being rude not telling the guests that they've got a sickness bug.

I imagine it's because the parties cost so much.

I'd be really cross though, it's so selfish.

Depends on the venue. Some have a small fee to change the dates. I don’t agree it is rude. Your user name is very apt as you are as emotionally supportive as a real potato would be.

Oh dear, I think your daughter might be starting to feel a bit nauseous op? Better stay away as she's probably going down with it too already.

I'd be very apologetic and suggest that you take. Birthday girl out for a treat with your daughter next weekend after dance class when they're both recovered?

This is what I think too. I think she should have told the parents and let them make their own mind up. By the looks of the party WhatsApp group there’s kids invited who aren’t in their class so may not have been exposed to it yet.

If I was that mom I’d feel bad if anyone got poorly
and what if she’s sick at the party?!

If she has a sickness bug (something that is unlikely to settle within a few hours) then she's properly ill. In which case, if she was planning on calling off the party, she would have done so by now.

Seems like she wants the party to go ahead. I would have just text "sorry to hear x is ill. I assume the party is called off so X will see X at school when she's better. Hope she feels well soon x"

It’s more likely the mum too busy preparing for the party no time to take kid to class so made up excuse.

Absolutely wouldn't go, and absolutely spread the word.

Your kid having a headache or being a bit tired from not sleeping well and needing to rest before a party, or needing some time off for something like asthma where a full on exercise class would be too much, or eczema in a scratchy dance outfit, is very different to throwing up for hours.

I wouldn't go but also will be worried that other kids will catch it and spread in school. I would warn the other parents I think ... the parent is being super irresponsible not cancelling the party.

YANBU. If her child was definitely sick last night with an infection then she’s unreasonable to go ahead with the party and potentially infect loads of other kids and their families.

I’d text her to thank her for letting you know about her daughter’s illness and wishing her a speedy recovery. Pretty obvious that you won’t be attending the party and why.

Don't be ridiculous