Daughter getting fat in school

[joey197860]

Teenage daughter has gained 22kg in new boarding school. No medical explanation for it and she's very happy, wrll integrated and academically excelling. School has a shop on site and girls have access to kitchen in the evenings. Daughter had major surgery last year and specifically should not eat sugar loaded food. What am I to do? I want to pull her from the school at the end of this term. The school is absolutely no help when I discussed this with them.

OP, you mention that you feed your CHILDREN healthy meals.

Are your other children also at boarding school, or just the daughter you are currently concerned with?

And has recently had surgery to remove a hormone related tumour. This kind of weight gain in such a short space of time is more likely to be medical - even more so given the past medical history. Lots of posters here ignoring the medical issues and going straight for OP’s jugular because she ‘sent her DD away to school’ as one poster put it. OP hasn’t given the reasons for boarding school and nor should she. But it’s certainly clouding the judgement of many posters if the reprehensible comment upthread ‘ putting your daughter in kennels’ is anything to go by. It may well have been DD’s choice because it certainly doesn’t sound as though it’s forced.

My 3 stone weight gain over five years including pregnancies and the early parenting years is that simple.

A teenage girl gaining that much in a few months who has just had major surgery to remove a tumor that can affect hormone levels isn't that simple at all. Nor is rapid weight gain in a teen who's been boarding since she was in primary school.

It's likely physical, a consequence of whatever medical condition she has. It may be an eating disorder. Whatever it is, I would be very surprised if it was simple.

I dont know where OP is, UK or Dubai but the point still stands that lots of the responses on here are exactly why we struggle with obesity in this country

It is perfectly easy to eat 1k calories that you dont need every day, without trying. I have put on similar amounts of weight in the past, there is a myth about weight loss that 'you put it on slowly so you need to lose it slowly'

Well many of us didnt put it on slowly, it came on like this! Due to food availability, the social setting of eating out, drinking out (not applicable to a school child obviously). You only need extra toast with butter, a few milky fancy drinks and thats your extra 1000 calories a day. Easily done in a setting where the intake isnt checked like it would be at home

She does need to be seen to ensure that nothing hormonal is going on following the operation but either way if she has free and ready access to tasty treats then its likely the solution is fairly straightforward.

Most people are leaping to comfort eating or PCOS or a hormone problem and struggling to understand how easy it is to put on weight that quickly. It is unfortunatley very easy. And whether she has PCOS or not she'll still need to eat less if she wants to lose weight and OP indicates her daughter is not happy with the weight gain.
Whether she is comfort eating is another matter but given her history of boarding and that she is happy with that, it seems unlikely.

Vanishingly rare a short time after having a hormone related tumour removed ? 3.5 stone in four months would have to be as a result of world class bingeing. There would be evidence of it. Medical is much more likely here.

Why would she remain under hospital care and what do you mean by that?

Ive had 3 tumours removed, once they're removed, job done, they dont need to see you anymore

Comment deleted as wrong thread.

I would be extremely concerned the tumour has returned. Request a scan whilst you are there op. It can present as ‘weight gain’ but a huge tumour is heavy and will look like weight gain.

If it isn’t that, then she has an eating disorder which is a mental health problem, and you will need to find a specialist that can work through her triggers for over eating. She will need talking therapies and potentially some support as she recovers.

Please be mindful about your language, using the word fat could make things even worse. No teen is going to feel happy in this situation, she doesn’t need it pointing out to her. Start with the GP take it from there.

If you hadn’t been so focused on the contraceptive issue you’d have seen that there is an underlying surgery related possible reason and OP has already seen her GP, and is taking her back for blood tests. OP hasn’t said how old her daughter is - teenage could just as easily mean 13 as 16. And if someone had suggested contraceptives as a reason for my 13 year old’s weight gain l’d respond similarly.

How is this relevant ? OP hasn’t disclosed any of the details regarding te reasons for boarding school - could be DD’s own choice.

Kids can be in boarding school for all sorts of 'needs must' reasons. I know it was a much much better option to allow me a childhood than staying home. I also know I was greatly loved. I was happy and made great friends, great memories. Yes, eating disorders are more prevalent, but the same can be said for all girls schools.

It is not fair to keep lambasting the Op. She is worried. She wants the best for her daughter. If anything, the medical team/person dealing with the original tumour should have had follow ups in place.

I hope all goes well for you and your daughter Op.

She’s boarded since prep school. No seven year old asks to live away from home.

Boarding since prep school is quite the thing though. I'm struggling to think of any reasons for that.

Read this drinking my morning coffee - which has now been snorted all over the screen !!

She might not be happy there.

Reading this has made me wonder if my DD12 has PCOS. Thanks to those who have linked it with weight gain. Trip to the docs for us this week. Thanks.

My son's girlfriend went to a boarding school and when she tells me how bad the food is I am stunned,all chips and beans and fish fingers etc.

Again, could be choice, as OP’s said several times DD seems happy and settled. Difficult to Judge without knowing though, l agree. Maybe OP could update.

If it's the schools fault then why aren't all the pupils hugely obese?

You say it's all healthy etc at home - could your DD just be going over the top as there are treats there you don't allow access to at home? I did similar - my parents in the '80s were all organic and vegetarian. As soon as I had any freedom I wanted to go out and try all the things I wasn't allowed to eat at home.

Hormone can also cause weight gain. PCOS for example.

Where was her tumour? What is her follow up?

There can be so many explanations for weight gain but you're making out it's down to the school and your daughters lack of self control

Also 'that type of girl' - meaning what exactly???

Who would choose that for a primary school aged DC though? Child or parent.

This is a choice you’ve made by sending your child to boarding school though OP. Other people’s rules about your child’s health and welfare now affect her life much more than anything you can implement.

I do not have a medical background and OP has not provided any detail. However was the tumor on or near the pituitary gland, causing issues with metabolism or her hypothalamus, causing issues with hunger. Does she have 'open door' back to the consultant? or get the GP to refer.

Glad you are talking her to the GP. To gain that amount of weight she would be needing to eat approx 17,500 additional calories per week (working off calcium 1lb equals 3500 calories) it does sound medical

I’ve never before felt so sorry for a child after so little information. Poor thing!! OP - any compassion at all?

But that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s unhappy there. Lots of posters linking very recent and rapid weight gain to the fact that she’s at boarding school and possibly unhappy. If she’s early teens that means she’s been boarding for six years - why now ? Medical is more likely IMO given the recent surgery.