Daughter getting fat in school

[joey197860]

Teenage daughter has gained 22kg in new boarding school. No medical explanation for it and she's very happy, wrll integrated and academically excelling. School has a shop on site and girls have access to kitchen in the evenings. Daughter had major surgery last year and specifically should not eat sugar loaded food. What am I to do? I want to pull her from the school at the end of this term. The school is absolutely no help when I discussed this with them.

Exactly this 💯

Grow up in what way. Person is correct.

This isn't the place for a rant about b schools.
But one single post to put the other side (and I hope you can leave it or start a new thread!)

Some students go for very good reasons.

One of my closest friends boarded from age 7 which they say was far too young, and they do bear the 'scars' then went on to one of the top UK boarding schools. It was the thing that upper middle class parents did decades ago.
They spent the next 40 years teaching in very good boarding schools helping to make them happier places for the pupils and run on very different lines.

I've worked in boarding schools and they are very relevant to some children, whose home lives aren't stable (eg Forces) or where parents' work means a lot of overseas travel, sometimes for single parents (widowed - not necessarily divorced.)

I don't think that's true. Food is delicious, it's very easy to put weight on.

Do people really send prep-school age children to boarding school, how sad. Kids learn normal healthy eating patterns by being taught at home around the table with their families, maybe you should rethink outsourcing your parenting responsibilities.

There is zero justification for palming your kids off to boarding school and the idea that regular army can spend money on boarding school is bordering on the ridiculous. It's social engineering pure and simple as mummy and daddy ponse around skiing in the Alps.

Why do people insist on going down this rabbit hole ? Have you not read the full thread ? OP is a disabled single mother. She possibly has bursaries in place for boarding school - these are not given without good reason. She hasn’t sent anyone away to school. She says it works for them, DD is happy and settled and the other two children are excited about going away to school. Right from the start, the fact that DD is at boarding school has been the excuse for so much batshit input.

Bollocks. Do you think a disabled single mum is poncing around skiing in the Alps ? At least read the thread before posting vapid responses.

Nobody puts that much weight on is happy. The daughter has been to a medical professional.

And no matter how delicious food is it isn't typical for someone's appetite to multiply in a three month period.

Nope. OP has said several times her DD can go to day school if there’s a problem and many posters have said taking her out of boarding school will be even more of a problem if she’s happy and settled there. So many stupid assumptions about boarding schools here.

The daughter has had surgery to remove a hormone related tumour. The weight gain is overwhelmingly likely to be linked to that. And the daughter hasn’t been to any medical professional other than the school doctor. OP is consulting the GP with a view to investigating what’s been going on since the surgery.

Things go wrong after surgery. They may not have got all of the tumour. It may have resurfaced. In any event considering how recent the surgery is, and the fact that it’s hormone linked, this is the most sensible avenue to explore first.

OP didn’t say that catering staff were employed all hours. She said pupils had access to the kitchen at night for snacks, drinks etc.

Most sensible post on the thread.

Where does it say the OP is a disabled single Mother? I can’t see that anywhere?

Are you actually able to talk to your DD?
You're insistent that she is happy yet seem quick to blame the school for an open kitchen
You fail to acknowledge a possible connection to her surgery for a tumour
My first thought is the weight gain is due to fluid or something hormonal due to the surgery.
Whatever the reason I do think you need to ask DD gently if she's ok rather than assume she must be

It doesn't matter how fancy and hotel like her upmarket Dubai boarding school is.
She's comfort eating,
She's not happy.
She should be home with you

I’ve had several benign tumours removed. No follow up. Discharged into the care of my GP. If the tumour has regrown or wasn’t fully removed, then the weight gain could be due to this unforeseen complication. It’s impossible to consult with the medics who carried out the removal if DD has been discharged, OP would have to go through her GP for a referral back.

RTFT. There is a significant and relevant medical history here. And the boarding school is not in Dubai, it’s in the UK.

She started another thread and details are there. Another poster found it upthread and posted a link.

Why would being single and disabled mean all 3 of your kids get bursaries to private school? And even if they are bursaries, op still has chosen to send her kid away. This is not the first boarding school from what she says and the child could attend as a day pupil but op has chosen not to do that. If you’re hugely worried about your child, you have them home of an evening! Bursary or not! Surely?!

Why can’t it be a choice made because of the parental circumstances. The OP is a disabled single mother of three kids. If she has bursaries in place to send her children to boarding school there must be a very good reason. Are you always so sneering ?

It depends on her circumstances and her disability doesn’t it ? From experience as a disability outreach worker, in 20 years I only came across a handful of mums in OP’s situation who received bursaries, and they were all for very good reasons. OP may be wealthy of course, but again in my experience there aren’t many single disabled mums out there in a position to fund boarding school education. OP has chosen not to divulge any further details about her circumstances and judging by some of the input on this thread, I don’t blame her.

You said she's had surgery to remove a tumour but you haven't even taken her to the GP or contacted her surgeon about the weight gain....that is not 'trying everything else', that's barely doing anything.

School GP said there was no medical reason for the weight gain. OP posted for advice here and was advised to go to her GP and take it further. She’s doing that. And if surgery was straightforward at the time, the consultant would have discharged DD back into the care of her GP. You can’t just contact the surgeon again, your GP has to re-refer you.