DH pancreatic lesion with symptoms

[Ebabllisstggoffor]

So we’re half way to our U.K. holiday break. This morning an appointment came through for my DH to see a consultant surgeon. This is an urgent appointment on the back of a recent MRI. It’s on Tuesday morning. He says he’s going to call them on Monday to rearrange it. My gut reaction is to head home and keep the appointment but he’s having none of it. He wants his holiday. I’m currently wide awake worrying about all this. What if he rings on Monday and can’t get a quick appointment? Should I try and persuade him that we should head home. What would be reasonable. I’m so very worried about him.

Mm that's kinda my thoughts, especially when a lot are unfortunately inoperable.

I'm sorry

Totally agree! My DF knew there was something wrong but kept putting off going to the drs. He left it too late and passed from esophageal cancer 11 months after diagnosis!
OP I would get him to call first thing Monday morning.If an appointment can be rearranged for very soon then continue your break. If he’s going to have to wait too long then I would insist on going home for the appointment on Tuesday.

Op, just wondering if you could phone Monday and ask for a telephone appointment for Tuesday?

Well you can’t make him go. He’s an adult. I just would want assurance he understand the decision he is making.

This isn’t breast or prostate cancer. Pancreatic cancer is a bastard and days do matter

Thanks, that’s a brilliant idea. He’s going to do that.

It’s very bold of him to assume he can just get another appointment a few days later. This isn’t private healthcare. If you shun the appointment you’re given, it may delay things by a week +. Not ideal if it’s cancer with a view to surgery. Surgery may not be an option the longer it’s left.

Obviously you are right.

However, he’s an adult and I can’t force him to do anything.

Honestly a few days with pancreatic cancer (if that is what it is, hopefully not!) absolutely could make a difference. There is absolutely no chance I would allow my DH to miss this appointment. Speaking as a ICU nurse specialist in the national pancreatic hospital.

I would be telling him firmly, that although he is an adult and it is his choice, and that he wants to enjoy his holiday, as his wife I absolutely will not enjoy this holiday if he delays this appointment. Personally I would refuse to go on the holiday.

He's probably scared, worried, has known for a while it's something bad and wants to just put it to the back or his mind for a few days and enjoy the calm before the inevitable storm ahead. I dont blame him and would probably do the same. Steel yourself ready for the appointments upcoming but for now respect his wishes and enjoy your holiday together.

Glad he's decided to ask for a telephone appointment. My DH had to do his 2nd cancer appointment with me on holiday (so grading appointment) on a three way call with me as they moved so fast.

Surely there is a realistic likelihood of the consultant surgeon who has scheduled this urgent appointment wanting to admit him for surgery then and there? Can't do that over the telephone or while on holiday.

Pancreatic Cancer is a very different beast to other cancers and by the time it has been picked it up it has often already spread or moved past the point of being treatable. It will also depend on whether this is the primary cancer or secondary. Or something entirely unrelated.

As a couple you need to make the decision whether a quality holiday together is important before heading into what could be a very challenging process.

Honestly, I don't know what I would do in your situation but there is no right or wrong answer. Wishing you all the best in the world. Hold him tight and tell him you love him.

Honestly if it is pancreatic cancer and he’s been unwell for a while he may wish to take the holiday and enjoy what he can while he can.

I hope it’s not obviously !

Actually OP FWIW I agree the rapid response is a sign of seriousness but based on DH’s experience it isn’t necessarily a doomsday scenario. It could be that there is something worth fighting for.

This is especially true is the scan picked up only the one lesion. A key issue with the aggressive type of pancreatic cancer is that it frequently spreads before it is caught. If you’re going to have a pancreatic lesion, the fact that no others have been mentioned is something to cling to.

In this situation I would tell him that I’m heading home Monday either way as I want him to live. If he makes the reckless decision to stay on holiday he can do so alone.

And if he dies or becomes incapacitated whose life changing problem will that ultimately be then? To say nothing of loving and worrying about her DH. It's not unusual for spouses to actually do that you know.

Pretty much so unlikely it's negative figures. All pancreatic surgery is done in specialist centres and need specialist post op icu beds (which are scarce at present), pts need multiple preop scans and multidisciplinary team discussions to debate if its operable. Then they need anaesthetic review to see if we think they're fit enough to survive surgery and recovery etc

Thanks to every one of you for your replies. It’s made me see that I’m not going mad and over reacting.

He is definitely calling tomorrow to ask for a telephone appointment. I’ve made him promise if that’s not possible and there’s a wait for another appointment, we will head home. Thanks again.

Keep the date of the appointment and have a telephone consultation

I know about pancreatic cancer but funeral songs are an awful thing to suggest.

Isn't it the case that such lesions can be benign or pre-cancerous - so actually it might not be cancer (yet)? I think the pp talking about wills and funerals was jumping the gun a bit! No need for such scaremongering.

Yes it is!

It’s a good job I have a black sense of humour. 😂

I think it’s fine to call up on Monday. They may well be able to offer him a telephone appt or an alternative appt within a few days. Even if it is worst case scenario, he’s not going to be going straight from an appt to discuss results into an operating theatre.